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-   -   NEWS: Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=899879)

Voodoo 04-15-2009 08:17 AM
NEWS: Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits
 
WASHINGTON, DC?A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans.

"This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living."

To arrive at their conclusions, study directors first identified the average yearly costs and benefits of life. Tangible benefits such as median income ($43,000) were weighed against such tangible costs as home-ownership ($18,000). Next, scientists assigned a financial value to intangibles such as finding inner peace ($15,000), establishing emotional closeness with family members ($3,000), and brief moments of joy ($5 each). Taken together, the study results indicate that "it is unwise to go on living."

[ MORE ]

munki 04-15-2009 08:19 AM
Instant crassic

Fletch XXX 04-15-2009 08:19 AM
[QUOTE=Voodoo;15746628] home-ownership ($18,000). [\QUOTE]

homes for 18k???

they forgot quite a few zeroes

nvrmind re-read it, i guess thats yearly...

Carmine Raguso 04-15-2009 08:20 AM
This is a major reason while people commit suicide in the country. Mark my words, the suicide rate is going to go through the roof even more than it already has. It really is tough out there for the average Joe. :(

What a fucking shame.

Carmine Raguso 04-15-2009 08:21 AM
[QUOTE=Fletch XXX;15746636]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Voodoo (Post 15746628)
home-ownership ($18,000). [\QUOTE]

homes for 18k???

they forgot quite a few zeroes

nvrmind re-read it, i guess thats yearly...
I think they mean yearly dude... and I agree, the number is still low in my book, but maybe when factoring in poor to rich this is a median yearly mortgage payment sum? :helpme

Fletch XXX 04-15-2009 08:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmine Raguso (Post 15746640)

I think they mean yearly dude... and I agree, the number is still low in my book, but maybe when factoring in poor to rich this is a median yearly mortgage payment sum? :helpme
yeah i caught it after i started typing post...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fletch XXX (Post 15746636)

nvrmind re-read it, i guess thats yearly...

rowan 04-15-2009 09:47 AM
Uhh... before discussing the estimates in great detail perhaps you guys should check the domain it's posted on. :)

The Ghost 04-15-2009 09:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Voodoo (Post 15746628)
WASHINGTON, DC?A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans.

"This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living."

To arrive at their conclusions, study directors first identified the average yearly costs and benefits of life. Tangible benefits such as median income ($43,000) were weighed against such tangible costs as home-ownership ($18,000). Next, scientists assigned a financial value to intangibles such as finding inner peace ($15,000), establishing emotional closeness with family members ($3,000), and brief moments of joy ($5 each). Taken together, the study results indicate that "it is unwise to go on living."

[ MORE ]

Awesome :1orglaugh

DaddyHalbucks 04-15-2009 09:52 AM
99% of our problems are caused by big government, especially Congress, and the new master of the socialist plantation.

Deesnuts 04-15-2009 11:45 AM
the truth comes out

Carmine Raguso 04-15-2009 12:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rowan (Post 15746925)
Uhh... before discussing the estimates in great detail perhaps you guys should check the domain it's posted on. :)
pwnt....... :1orglaugh

Ozarkz 04-15-2009 12:10 PM
*cough*The Onion*cough*

PornNewz 04-15-2009 12:16 PM
Fuck, I just pissed myself laughing after reading the whole article :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

God bless The ONION!!!

PornNewz 04-15-2009 12:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmine Raguso (Post 15746638)
This is a major reason while people commit suicide in the country. Mark my words, the suicide rate is going to go through the roof even more than it already has. It really is tough out there for the average Joe. :(

What a fucking shame.
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

missipissi 04-15-2009 12:23 PM
Before anyone gets too worked up....
http://www.yehlaisiang.com.sg/menu/onion_dance.gif

ultimatebbwdotcom 04-15-2009 12:30 PM
"The fact is, the supply of Americans greatly outstrips demand," said Evan Alvi of the Portland-based Maynard Institute.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Gotta love the Onion

Vicious_B 04-15-2009 12:46 PM
My favorite part


Quote:
The average citizen's lousy, smelly, uncomfortable daily-transportation costs rose 2.1 percent in January," Derek Capeletti of Wells Fargo Capital Management said. "Clothing costs were up 2.3 percent, reflecting an increased need for the pleated khakis, sensible sweater-sets, and solid ties we have to wear to our awful fucking jobs. And grocery expenses were up almost 4 percent, reflecting the difficulty that light-beer, microwave-burrito, and rotisserie-chicken makers have faced in meeting the needs of a depressed economy and citizenry."

woj 04-15-2009 12:54 PM
:1orglaugh

charlie3273 04-15-2009 12:59 PM
Bump the onion:thumbsup

$5 submissions 04-15-2009 01:01 PM
The onion rules. Check out their "news" videos too. Better production quality than many local real news channels.


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