They say one is born gay . . . .
 

There is the argument that being gay is a "choice" while others suggest it is not a choice but rather you are "born gay."

Do you believe it is possible for a boy to be gay due to his upbringing?

I believe if all he is raised around are girlier things.. then he obviously grows a liking to those things.

I know mothers who've kept their sons from the fathers... and the mother was a hairdresser.. so the child grew up in the hair salon... and.. gay.

I think a father's presence plays a big part a lot of the time...

I do believe some people are just born that way. Their hormones are off...

But I also believe that some just end up liking that lifestyle because it's all they know or have been raised around.

I haven't researched it and have no moral or religious thoughts on the matter, but I don't believe that anyone is born gay. I believe it's a choice and should be as acceptable as being straight.

+1000000 on that. It should be acceptable and we shouldn't have to be dealing with this Prop 8 shit.

it's a choice? you mean a 15 year old boy realizes he has no luck with the girls so he decided to find a boyfriend and get fucked in the ass?

I believe that to a great extent it is due to the upbringing and the people who surround a person and the influences one had while growing up.

One thing that confuses me is the gays acting like girls, the limp wrist and the feminine voice and the all tough real man gays...

Although I can only speak on what i have seen on TV

It does confuse me though

Do you choose to be straight? I sure as hell don't... that's what I am. I never sat around and said "hmm, tits look pretty good... maybe I'll go that route."

Now some people I think are gay for attention (it sounds stupid, but I have a friend... I swear she isn't really gay)... but in general, I don't think it's a choice. There have been studies showing differences in brain activity between gay and straight people... what causes that, who knows.

The only thing I know is that I could not "choose" to be gay.

I haven't researched this subject but last time I heard, the consensus was that people are actually born gay or straight

and upbringing plays a role in the minority of cases...

I might be wrong though

With the large amount of people who are born as other genders as a result of hormones... but are mentally "the other way"... I think it's completely plausible that they are born homosexual as well...

I have an overwhelming amount of testosterone for a chick... luckily that just means that I work all the time and am highly ambitious.. and have a huge sex drive.. I'm not gay. BUT having that over abundance of testosterone has affected my work ethic and sex.

I find it completely plausible that other fluctuations in hormones can change things too.

I believe it's a choice, and it's more likely influenced by environment or other but not written into your genes that you'll be gay or straight. Maybe you're equally likely to be either gay or straight but tend to be driven toward one or the other by societal norms and values.

I don't believe it's hardcoded into your genes and you are born with it.

So you believe that the environment (nurturing) when younger affects the way the brain responds to things later on?

That very well could be so...

Being in phone sex, we get a LOT of clients who have closet gay fantasies... and when I probe (hehe) into their mind about their upbringing/background... a lot were either just raised by their mother... or have always been submissive/dominated by women in general... and a LOT have low testosterone levels. They stay straight because that's the norm.. but spend 200-300/week on exploiting their homosexual tendencies with either mistresses, phone girls, cam girls, or even secret downlow sex.

But then again.. where do the big hairy, grr, manly, bears come from? lol

AND...

with chicks...

Would a chick turn gay because she's never got the proper sort of reinforcement from men? Or she just in general enjoys it? I don't know if I know many GIRLS who are just gay just because.. if I stop and think about it.. most chicks I know who are gay.. have some sort of male trauma in their life.. or have a narcissistic personality that they enjoy exploiting on a weaker, abused female...

I thought your sexual preference was predetermined at birth until I read the " Do you sit to pee " thread

you'll find out pretty fast if you go around asking gays you know if they were born that way or became that way. Upbringing doesn't effect sexual preference.

But are they being true with themselves?
was there some emotional trauma first to cause it?

Okay so in the first grade he decides he likes little tommy.. instead of little susie..

BUT.. did they have a father in their life? Were they babied by their mother? what are their hormone levels?

I think for a test to be done.. there are so many variables that need to be controlled...

Not happy with the choice you made?

I think some are born gay, some turn gay (for many reasons) and some try it just because they have done everything else and want to try something new. I mean, how do you know you don't like it until you try it?

Unlike Sly, I did I did say, "hmm, tits look pretty good... maybe I'll go that route." But I was breastfed and her first kid. Not sure how my younger brothers dealt with it.

It seems to me to be a genetic, hormonal thing in some cases at least.


As to whether someone who is NOT genetically predisposed to homosexuality can become gay, I don't know... but I suspect that it's a likely possibility.

Homosexuality is nature's way of terminating evolutionary dead ends. Isn't that obvious?

I don't think anyone has a choice of what they are. You are what you are. Like others have said, I never chose to be straight, I just am. One of my daughters best friends is gay. I have actually talked to him at great length regarding the subject. He said that he always knew he was different from his earliest memories. He was raised in a house with only brothers, standard mom and father, very good life. He said if he had a choice he would be straight, only because his family has such difficulty with him being gay and his mom refusing to believe that his "gayness" is just a stage and he will tire of it and get married and have kids like his siblings. He knows a lot of people do not accept him...he has said "why would anyone ever choose a life where a lot of the population looks down on you, where family is often ashamed of you...no one chooses this....we come out because we have NO CHOICE, you can only play the straight game for so long before it eats you alive inside"

I adore the guy, he is smart, genuine and has always been there for my daughter through the good times and the bad. Distance has not altered their friendship and he also knows, that he can call me to talk any time he wants. I am the "accepting mom" where he can bring his boyfriend and be welcomed.

And while we are on the subject....why in the hell do all men believe all women are bi? Half the "bi" chicks are actually straight, they "play bi" for the attention...but when it is time for a relationship....dating...living together....who do they have? guys!

This is the scenario.

I have a friend - big, burly biker type. He marries this chick and they have a kid. The inevitable happens and they get a divorce when the boy is around 1 year old. Now this freak is raising the kid.

Comes toilet training time and she is teaching him to wipe his dick after peeing. I told her that he was going to end up gay if she did not knock it off (for the record, I don't know if gay guys wipe their dicks or not, I have never known any guy, gay or otherwise that did this).

I was at lunch today with my son and somehow the above story came into discussion and I was informed that the kid is "very gay."

Now, I don't know if the dick wiping had anything to do with it, but if she was doing that, who knows what other weird crap she was putting the boy through. I tend to think his environment influenced him. I guess it could all be a weird coincidence.

How about some input from a gay POV? sortie, what do you think?

Just giving you shit baddog.
:)

My bro is gay and no way did it have anything to do with upbringing.

He knew it very very early and started to read books about it to try to
understand.

He had a girlfriend in high school but that was the last girl ever.

So it was kind of like he didn't want to be gay but got over it eventually.

No, you're still here.

I believe that the latest tests have confirmed that "left brain / right brain" activity is different in homosexuals.
As in, women's brain waves are distinctly different from that of men... and thus, homosexual people's brain waves more resemble that of the opposite sex.

I know that doesn't really answer the question of this thread, but I'd imagine that a person's brain activity is only partially set by birth and partially set by upbringing.

For me personally, I tend to believe that a gay person is just gay, and a straight person is just straight. They don't really choose, they just are.

So no constant male figure in the life?
I think that plays a HUGE part. Especially if the mom is constantly trying to rid the obnoxious "guy" qualities that the dad had.

The hairdresser's kid that I knew... always wanted to play Tomb Raider.. and loved Lara Croft... and Wonder Woman.. so when roleplaying.. he'd always want to bring in the female role into the child playing... That's when we knew he was probably going to end up gay.. and the first 10 years of his life spent growing up in a hair salon completely changed him.

But who knows.. he could've been born that way.

But I thoroughly believe growing up in a hair/nail salon turned him gay.

There must be someone with a name similar to yours because I always thought you were a guy.

And we don't think all chicks are bi, just the hot ones. It is very fashionable for young, hot chicks to be bi and I think I speak for every guy here when I say, we love it.

I just wish it was as fashionable when I was a kid. It was hard finding them and I had access to more women than most guys.

:1orglaugh

http://www.killsometime.com/Pictures/images/Pic1203.jpg hmm :1orglaugh

Nurture can make a guy Metro-sexual...but not gay.

I do believe it is an anti-productive Mutation which is different than something being what we think of as genetic. Something "genetic" is generally handed down, while homosexuality is something that happens in a one-off fashion. It has been suggested that it is occurring more often in populations with third or fourth level inter-breeding such as Europeans but much more infrequently in larger populations like Africa or India. However, studies cannot be conclusive because it is difficult to determine when it is not happening or when it is not being reported due to cultural differences. Homosexuality happens more like a "genetic" defect for example being albino... But, if you say that you get labeled a homophobe.

look, Gays are clearly people too, who did not choose to feel the way they feel, and should be allowed and even encouraged to follow their dreams of a normal life, but there should be no doubt that it is counter-productive to the survival of our species.

It does suck that people are prejudged and treated as outcasts for something they cannot help, but on the same hand, scientists will never have answers because they have to pretend it is a good thing or risk being called a biggot. :2 cents:

Funny, the chick was a hairdresser, and yeah, Dave spend more time in jail than out I guess.

My daughter works with young kids. She says she has seen 3 year olds that her and the rest of the staff were positive they would be gay. They have different mannerisms, they don't enjoy the typical boy toys...even when specifically introduced to them..they would prefer doing other things.

I don't think washing your dick will make you gay, I think it may contribute to making you a clean freak...but not gay. What is gay about wiping your dick? Your dicks is wet with piss, you give it a shake, but there is often a drop left on it...wouldn't wiping that take care of the issue? I mean, I can't tell you how many guys I have seen with the pee spot on their pants where they didn't shake enough. Maybe mom is onto something

No sons?

u r gay lol

You'd have a point if there wasn't 6 billion fucking assholes alive already.

I wish George Bush senior had been gay.

except for juicy, he likes it :thumbsup

You have a better understanding than most ever will :thumbsup

If it can be determined that a person's sexual preference cannot be influenced and is in fact a natural occurrence the real problem becomes how others perceive, react and accept it.

For the record I'm 100% straight

Well the hairdresser's kid in my scenario has a "girlfriend" now..
But his senior year in high school.. I hacked his email for a friend.. and found gay personal ads and emails... So I know the truth...

And now that he's off to college.. he has a "roomate" who is just as artsy as him...

If he ends up fighting it and really does have a girlfriend... I'll be surprised.
College will make him "come out"

Hit me up on pm, off the record. :winkwink:

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

So you went straight because you sucked your moms tit?

We usually call that incest.

I believe both is possible. Some people are born in the wrong body. And some people develop into liking things due to environment. But I think mainly people are born with it. But some just have it stronger than others.

Have to start somewhere . . . . it was just an influence.

Anyone who thinks people can choose to be gay or straight is a retard. All you can do it try to supress your feelings, but they dont go away.

I'm gay. I hated it growing up. Hiding it from friends in school, hiding it from family.
I was very lonely for years of my life.
I was a member of a teen gay group in Boston and some of the kids were thrown out of their homes and homeless because theyr parents found out.
Who the hell would choose to be gay if it meant you were going to be lonely and homeless?

Believe me, no one wants to be an outcast when they're young.

You're no "outcast"; you just got "casted" in a different show as the star. :thumbsup

This thread is gay.

I don't know how much of a choice being gay is.. I think some people are just born that way. In the natural world, animals have homosexual unions, and some animals even choose same-sex life partners. There's no rhyme or reason for it... it's just the way of things.

Having doubts about yourself?

If upbringing causes sexual preference, it's still not a choice - you don't choose your upbringing, after all. The only way it could be a choice is if one didn't have a clearly defined sexual preference.

In my view, it would be quite ludicrous to assume that to be the case for a majority of gay people, since without an obvious sexual preference, choosing to be straight would be a far easier option.

So no, I do not believe it to be a matter of choice.