I Hate My Neighbor, What Can I Do To Him? (neighbor wars part 1)
 

Ok,

so I have an ignorant neighbor who happens to be black.

He drives an 18 wheeler, his dogs bark ALL day and ALL night (pitbulls and a terrier or something like that).

Yesterday I here his loud ass truck in my driveway, to only find that he had gotten his regular truck stuck in my yard and rutted the fuck out of it (two feet deep), pulled it out with his 18 wheeler and muddied up my driveway.

So what are some different things I can do to piss this guy off, I fucking hate him like I have never hated anyone in my life.

I will wait to the right moment and call the spca, because you guess it, he breeds pit bulls.

Shoot me some suggestions of what I can do to this fucking ignorant asshole :)

Oh yeah, and I got my boy coming over in his truck Friday to cut a big fucking donut in the middle of the assholes yard.

18 wheeler huh? Do you own a knife because slashed tyres are a pain in the ass ;)



Not that I endorse illegal activities of course

Dogs barking all the time, check your local animal control. That can get him a ticket.

call animal control now. no need to wait.

put some shit into a paperbag and put the bag in front of his door -
now burn down the bag - ring the bell-and run....................he wil jump on it for shure

Check with your local council to see if parking an 18 wheeler in a residential (?) street is against their bylaws.

Why not call the cops and tell them he has his rig illegally parked in a residential zone..

Why not take him to small claims court to sue him for damages to your yard if you actually own the property?

neighbor issues are always tough since most of the time you will be neighbors during and after any disputes.. best to just let it go if you can.. bring the guy a beer one day and just start talking with him.. thats worked for me before with stupid neighbors who I ended up being cool and on a mutual respect level with..

Ok. I'll ask.

What did he say when you asked him about what he'd done to your lawn? Surely you went and complained to them?

BTW: should it matter that he is black for some reason?

haha... "what can i do to him"


uhmm... yeah... this is obviously going to end well for all involved!


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Use his address to sign up for miscellaneous catalogs..i.e. Sex toys, bondage, gay mail order items,etc. It doesn't hurt him but it will piss him off.

We can all assume he didn't do or say anything.

Have you tried talking to him?

Get two toothpicks
Put one into his driver's side lock
The other in the passengers side door-

Break both toothpicks inside lock
Take remainder of the broken toothpick out.

That fucker will be scratching his head when he can't figure out why his keys are not opening up his doors.

Causing him to be grounded for a day or so.

:-))

I am an evil prick aren't I?

people tend to be a bit like gravity... for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. expect that for everything you do, its going to be paid back on you 2X... by a neighbor that you have to live next to, that you don't like, that doesn't like you, that doesn't respect you, that doesn't respect your property and that you already know is a selfish, self centered, inconsiderate, narcissistic prick.

move out of the ghettos.

We need some pics!!!!!

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:thumbsup

If you hate him that much -- why don't you try viscously attacking and murdering him, via blunt force trauma to the head. This method is a very popular amongst people who really hate other people, and will certainly solve many of the issues you have with him.

Problem number one. Sort out your racism. If you weren't racist, you would not have said this, since his irritations (18 wheeler + dog) are irrelevant of his skin colour.

Did you ask him to rectify your fucked up lawn and messed up drive?

take a live cat
choke it until it passes out. dont kill it, just knock it out.
shave its entire underside until its hairless
apply 2 tubes of super glue to the cat
hold cat on his windsheild until the glue drys

leave him with the superglued live cat to the windsheild gag, fun for ages.

Nah, his neighbour is black, so this would certainly result in certain death from retaliation by the hood.

Sell your house to Mexicans.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Please do this and post pics!

Let the system loose on him, animal control, cops, enviromental safety control..

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Fuck his wife

Heres a tip - just invest in a small bottle of super glue. Much more efficient...

Also - I would sneak out at night and hide some nails under his tires... im sure 18 new tires is pretty fucking expensive ...

not that I condone assholism

i was gonna say that :(

If that fails, call the above.

:1orglaugh

build a higher fence, or even a brick made one.

:1orglaugh:helpme

paint your house the same color as his. that will teach him to fuck with you

go on cl and send gays to his house for incall service

i would snap if some asshat thought he could park his 18 wheeler next to my house

Nobody has suggested it yet because GFY is plagued with cowards but you might consider being a man and taking the situation head on by confronting your neighbor instead of sulking around trying to think of things you "can do" to him.

:thumbsup communication can solve your problem 90% of the time. But be willing to see it from his perspective too.

Agree! having friends around your neighbor is better than being a loner.
Someday you might needed help and those neighbor that you hated most might be the first to be there to give you a hand.

Be a man and confront your neighbor in a nice way, but if in return he still piss you off, I'm sure the law will find its way to teach him about your rights :spawn

Tire "slashing" is so quaint.
You want to cut off the stems, not slash the tire. Much worse.

For the record, I do endorse illegal activities.

If reasoning/talking has failed try this...

Have someone not involved write a threatening letter to Bush, McCain or Obama. Put it in an envelope, address it, put it in your neighbors mailbox and put the flag up.

Feds will be there in a few days...

I'm not a racist, it's just a shame he happens to be black and I hate him because he is the only black person in the neighborhood.

The guy mows onto my side of the lawn, to try to make his lawn look bigger. (in turn i mow all the way up to his house for payback, everytime)

The guy keeps his dogs locked up all day and night and rarely cleans out their cage, and they bark all day and all night because of it.

We used to be friends for the first couple of years I lived here, then he stole from me and denied it, after which we got into a fight over it in the front yard where he slit my eyebrow open and i popped one of his teeth through his lip.

He stole from me and tried to deny it (steals from stores half-professionaly).

I gave his daughters like 20k in abercrombie clothing, as well as him.

Ever since the fight and the falling out, it has been war.

We do subtle things to piss each other off, by I have far more time and resources.

I wouldn't hate the guy, but he's an ignorant asshole who cannot keep to his own.

I'm going to get a friend to donut his yard up, and I am calling animal control tomorrow.. Just wondered if anyone had other suggestions.

Actually, a couple of people suggested that.

this will just continue the cycle man. he'll do something in revenge then you'll do something back etc. eventually shit will get serious (happened in long beach a few weeks ago over noise for a week and dude got capped). here is a real suggestion, make-up with the dude and have a serious talk with him esp. since he was your friend at one point and just say you are both acting like children.

if you are going to retaliate though make it worth it and final (no killing). make it cycle ending you are just adding more fuel to the fire

My mistake. I later noticed at least Media did. So to him, and anyone else that did, you're rare amongst GFYers. :thumbsup

Well if you've already tried talking with him, then this is the best prank I know:

Late at night board up his doors and windows and set the house on fire. Jump in your trunk, circle around the block and take out any fire hydrants that are close.

Should get you the last laugh.

He mows part of your lawn for you? Seems like a nice thing to do.

Get his phone number, buy a portable cell phone, and call during the wee hours of the night, every single night. Breathe heavy into the phone for a few seconds, then hang up.

Order a bunch of magazines in his name, but make sure they allow you to buy now, pay later. He'll have his mailbox full of magazines he didn't order, and will be billed accordingly.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Make up with him, he is your neighbour. Revenge won't do you no good man, he will definitely return you the favor and it will go on and on. Talk to him, find a solution, try to explain. And if diplomacy fails then open fire and at the very end sell your house to mexicans.