If you have kids, do you spoil them?
 

I was having this discussion tonight with a good friend of mine, and it got me thinking. I know my son is spoiled, he has all the latest game systems and games(probably why I end up with all his friends over every weekend. lol) But in general he is a good kid, if he fucks up, which he did recently, he lost his phone, computer and all game systems, till he turns in some over due work in school. Do you spoil your kids? I've worried about it in the past, and my ex just said...it took us 6 years to have him, why not spoil him since we can? I am thinking it's about time to make him do a few chores around the house though. He's 12, and does nothing. LOL

If you keep giving the kid everything, he/she will never have to work hard.

And that is a bad thing, how?

are you a single mom?

Yes I'm divorced, but my ex and I are very good friends.

Single mom here too. My boys were 12 and 9 when my got lucky with PersianKitty.com We'd lived paycheck to paycheck for the most part prior to that.

Spoil them? Hell yeah.. teach them what hard work, dedication and respect can do... definitely. I'm sure I could have/should have done some things differently, but they've both turned out great (24 and 21 now). They both had to do decent in school.. follow my rules at home...do schoolwork and chores before play or tv, etc. Many things they wanted down the road they had to 'earn' by grades or by special chores.

PK

I've got a 15 year old that I have spoiled pretty well, but he helps around the house when I ask him to plus he is an honors student and plays in the HS marching band and I can't recall having to ground him for more than a day for anything worse than small silly stuff.
He keeps his nose clean and grades up and I reward him for it. Pretty simple system.
He's already working on getting into college (we live 7 miles from Univ of Oklahoma, so pretty sure that is where he is going), so I think it has turned out pretty good.

That's great to hear!!!! My son is spoiled in certain aspects, but when he fucks up, he knows it and loses everything! School is the big thing, he knows we feel like that is his "job" if he screws up, he knows what's going to happen! I'm really proud of him in general, in this day in age, he has alot of respect for anyone older...which is unusual anymore :( It's actually amazed me I've had older people in restaurants come over and tell me they just had to say the where impressed at how well behaved and polite he was. He's a kid, they screw up and push the limits if they think they can. but all in all, he's pretty damn good!

Hey Zebra!!!!! Nice to see you around! :thumbsup But, then I guess I should talk, I haven't been around much lately myself! LOL

isn't it?

he will end up like that :winkwink:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=CzG_oHDLZdc

LOL!!!!!! What a bitch! I can't see him doing that, thank god! LOL

Hi FA
i have 2 kids 23 and 15
good kids
the 15 is all about name brands the 23 never was
i give them what i can but i try and set goals/and or chores for them to earn certain things

it doesnt always work out that way - the 15 knows how to play me

but then my break up with the EX wasnt so happy

I don't have kids but if/when i do i like to think i wouldn't spoil them. Kids should learn that everything isn't just given to them. When i was a kid i cut lawns, made money and was so happy when i had enough to buy stuff on my own. It gives a kid self respect, confidence, i think.

I have two boys, 21 and 12, aka the manchild and the munchkin. They are spoiled.

But they are not spoiled brats.

I think there is a difference.

I give more than I probably should materially, and in terms of attention, being a mom is my entire focus, so all the attention is their's.

The flip side of that is that I also run a pretty tight ship. I don't hold with disrespect, and I hammer their respective asses on personal accountabilty. I believe that children will either live up to parental expectations, or down to them. My own have high expectations put upon them in terms of conduct, grades, personal growth, etc.

But I tell you what...

if anyone thinks my children are spoiled...

that ain't nuttin' compared to how spoiled my future granchildren will be. :winkwink:

I pull in the reigns occasionally, even though my daughter is only 3 she's not too young to learn that she doesn't always get what she wants.

My kids are spoiled, but it's not all material things. I cook a real meal for dinner almost every night. Last night I made roast chicken, mashed potatoes from scratch, gravy from scratch, fresh cauliflower with cheese and cressent rolls and for dessert I made apple dumplings with vanilla ice cream. lol

On the flip side, my kids are expected to help out. Even my 7 yr old comes outside with us and pulls weeds while we do yard work. My daughter empties the dishwasher, the cat box, helps pick up and clean. I try to teach them that life means work too. When they are small, they grumble.. but if you're persistent and basically say, If you like living here, get to work. They fall into line. My 15 yr old doesn't complain nearly as much as she used to when I make her mow the lawn or something similar.

I also made her get a job last summer. She was 14 and worked her entire summer so she could save money to go to florida with her band. Tuesdays and thursdays she had practice and every other day she worked.

Now all I hear is how she wants a car, so she worked all last summer too.

The value of a dollar and personal responsibility are the lesson most kids miss out on today.

PPK, I think family meal time is one of the most important things you can do.

I know that one of the boys' friends was amazed to find out that we ate as a family at the table, sometimes with candle light, nearly every night. The meals aren't always elaborate, but the conversation is nearly always good.

My 17 year old is on his own...he makes his own money - he can spoil his own ass.

My 6 year old I tend to spoil...mostly because of his Autism. It's a matter of picking battles and the way I spoil him is usually with food. If he wants a certain meal, he gets it -- even if he has had frozen waffles the last 39 meals in a row...though my girlfriend and I are having some success introducing new foods. Still, it's one battle I opt out of.

With kids, you should spend way less money and way more time.

Fatal what up long time no see.

I have a 4 year old son. I would not say I spoil him but he does get allot of stuff. I grew up poor and always wore hand me downs and never had any unbroken toys as those were usually hand me downs also. I worked really hard to get where I am so when I was ready to have a child he would not have to be like I was.

On the flip side my desire to never be withot came from always being without. In an effort to not let him get spoiled from things or lazy I devised a plan. Even though he is only 4 he has a responsibility chart. There are 7 slots of things he must do that changes as he has gotten older or reached milestones. He only gets his daily rewards if he completes all 7 things each day. The larger presents are only achieved if he does all 7 things for 7 days. I think this creates a reward structure and a level of responsibility at an early age allowing for a strong foundation of growth later in life.


We will see how it turns out :)

I have a 3 year old and he is spoiled rotton by his mom and his grandma. They buy him everything he asks for. But on Every thrip to any store, we make him put one thing back. One of the toys that he wants, he gets to carry around the store and either play with it or look at the box, and then we make him put it back on the shelf where it belongs. And I put a stop to the toy on every trip crap.