If you've been dating this girl and...
 

Say you've been dating a girl for a few months and because of the nature of her work (she's a bartender) she always gets things from guys who she gets to know from her work. they buy her presents and of course she takes them, i mean who woudn't! we all know they are doing this to try and get into her pants, i mean there is no other reason why they would do this. should you let this bother you? of course there will be some kind of animosity when you see these new presents she gets from guys, but is it even worth making an issue over it?
in addition to this, she also meets new guys consistently and goes out to eat with them after work just as friends, even though we all know they have other things on their mind like hopefully scoring after that late night dinner. would this bother you? should you be selfish and make an issue out of it?

one other point to remember is that before you met her she was already a bartender and this was a normal thing for her...so telling her to stop because your her boyfriend now might be a little selfish???? or out of respect for you do you think she should stop accepting the gifts and going out to eat with guys she meets where she bartends?

Trust your g/f and it wont matter.. she will be sharing those presents with you and bringing home damn good food for you to eat sometimes.

Now if she isnt sharing , then you two arent the item you thought you are.

Was always funny when I got taken to dinner by a so called customer.. ordering a steak
and a side of lobter tail for take out....:1orglaugh

LOL..i don't get it....care to explain what that image has to do with the situation?

Whatever you have to tell yourself.

This is the part sucks - "friends" my ass - the guy is trying to get some :2 cents:

Bar 1: Her Ex
Bar 2: YOU
Bar 3: The next guy (More money, better looking, nicer, badder, smells better etc...)
Bar 4: She hasn't met him yet

With this diagram you can clearly see how this would apply to you.

As she swings on her current bar, back and forth, she has a close reach to the one behind her and the one in front of her, just in case YOU don't work out.

And when she's tired of swinging, she just lets go of the bars, and spends some quality time with her girl friends. Have no fear, she'll be back on the bars in no time.

LOL...i guess your not okay with this then.

I see it two ways. 1) If you don't make an issue of it out of actual good intentions of not trying to be selfish, the girlfriend might see it as your a pussy and have no spinal cord because your not making an issue out of it. A real man should bring it up and fight for his girl?

2) If you make an issue out of it your insecure...

I haven't brought it up yet to her because we aren't really that serious. It's only been two months, but when I think about it if I'm going to stay with this girl for a year or more, and seeing this consistently I don't think I'll be able to handle it.

duh..arent all guys trying to get some..they only get some if she gives it to them.

So how many new gift bearing "friends" will she be dining with after work before she gives it up?

I'm curious how he met her originally, was it in the bar?

I'm not trying to be harsh, just realistic.

shit man...you hit the target. i had the exact same thoughts. i was think maybe i was better than the last guy, and when another guy walks into the bar that she sees more potential in than me i'd be dropped like a bad habit without a second thought.

Listen she may think these guys are just being nice, but they wants her ass. If she is stupid enough to think they are just friends she is stupid enough to be conned into fucking them. And if she is that stupid she is too stupid for me. Fact is though she isn't stupid.

your girl is a slut for accepting gifts from random men, also means she is most likely a money hungry hoe.

one day cuss her out real hard to wear it hurts her deeply and somehow apply to all the "greaseballs" who are friends with her and buys her gifts, this way it will bring her down a peg, then make it up to her by telling her "you are the one who really cares about her" and do something nice to cheer her up.

this way she will always have an open wound to bring her down to your level and you can always be the guy "who likes her for who she really is".

then whenever something happens again you can put it in her face "see i dont have to do that because i like you for who you really are, these guys just want your pussy" then you will end up being the good guy and she will eventually hate all men for trying to "buy her love".

yes, i met her at the bar where she works....the thing is when i went there the first time i knew she liked me, we just talked the first time. second time i went there she gave me her number without even having to ask. third time the deal was sealed when we hit the sack, and afterwards she asked me if i was her boyfriend now. i usually don't get into relationships with girls that work at these types of places and try to not get attached but this girl is smoking hot.

What kind of presents?

I've dated a few bartenders they are the WORST girlfriends.

They work evenings and weekends, dress slutty and are around drunk idiots who think she's hot all day.

The guys giving her gifts etc are her "regulars" those guys pissed me off A LOT while I date a bartender...

I've always ending it after ravaging her asshole....

My suggestion to you is start treating her and the gifts and the other guys like you DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!

If you start getting jealous and showing it you may as well just end it now..

I've dated a lot of girls and the ones who act like you are describing always end up as trouble.. You are better off just fucking this girl and treating her like she doesn't matter or breaking up with her and finding someone better suited for you...

Smoking hot????

Pound it out but don't get to attached buddy :thumbsup

i take it your female. it shows how different girls and guys think. your reply is the complete opposite from all the posts made by males. :1orglaugh

no offense of course, just funny to see the conflicting opinions when it comes to a guy and a girl.

pretty simple really; deal with it or move on. -bmb

sounds like you have some issues man.. you need a steak and blow job day

You are setting yourself up for a bad relationship. She's going to dinner with dudes=She is shopping around for some one better.

Save yourself the trouble dude.

LOL...trust me that's what i'm doing now, but when you have sex with a chick on numerous occasions of course the feelings start playing a role. in addition, she asked me to sleep over at her place a few times already, and that just adds to start getting attached. i guess i'll just have to find a second one so i won't get so attached with this one.

I should prolly add I am totally being negative and generalizing and assuming...

Your girl could be totally cool and honest and you have every right to trust her.. Who knows...

HOw the fuck am I supposed to know..Im not her.

I quit when I quit working in the bars....there was only one good customer I hung out with after that. He had met the hubby and we got together for smoke outs and lunch on occasion.

The guy was lonley and loved to smoke weed with me..what can I say.


When you start trying to control someone by telling them what they can and cannot do.. things are not good. You should just trust your partner to make the right decisions..if you cant.. relationship is doomed.

If I was you, I would talk to her and tell her your worries and facts and what you would like her to do, but never lose your temper even if she does. That's bound to make her actually think about it and either do something or not do it or bring it up again for further clarification... what happens will depend on the kind of person she is...

Or, I would just go everyday to the bar and stare murderously at the guys when they approached her lol...

Really to make an accurate decision we need to see some pics of her........LOL

...shit I forgot all about that Holiday? What day is it supposed to be on?

LOL..fuck i don't even want to see what it is. all i know is when i pick her up after work she has a bag of gifts. i just say "so you got another gift from your boyfriends huh?" and crack up. end of story. i don't want to make an issue out of it or even see what it is.

you got it! next time we're in the sack i'll take a pic of her naked. she won't mind, i already joked about it one night and she just cracked up like it would be okay to take a picture of her naked while in bed. and if things go bad i'll post them in this thread. LOL

some of you guys are so clueless by lumping girls into categories.

Just becuase a female goes to eat with a guy does not mean that she is shopping for a fucking partner.. it just might mean she is hungry and doesnt want to pay for her food that day. Or better yet, she enjoys said mans company but not in a sexual way. It doesnt fucking matter if the guys are trying to get in her panties.. most females know this and just tend to not pay attention to it if we dont plan on sleeping with that person.

Most females know when we are going to spread the legs for a guy almost right after meeting him.

If she is inviting you to sleep over , that means she doesnt have guys over there all the time and that she picked you to come over. Enjoy it and see where it goes, if it doesnt work out..then it just doesnt work out.

ya i do. it's not a real big issue yet though since we've been together for only a short length of time. i could easily end it with her without a second thought right now, but i know if i stay with her a bit longer there will start to be feeling soon since i'm already posting shit like this on GFY :1orglaugh

honestly, doing this in my opinion gives the girl the upper hand, and i don't think i can do that. it shows that she is in control of the relationship and makes the decision whether or not she should stop her actions. i know for a fact she is already wondering why i'm not getting jealous about her eating out with other guys or getting presents from other guys. sometimes when i'm dropping her to work she just sits in the car in complete silence all the way to work while i'm driving like something is wrong. i know she's probably wondering why i'm not acting like every other selfish boyfriend she had in the past, maybe thinking I think she's not good enough to even make it an issue. lol

Even if she's not fucking these guys, she knows that's what they want and she stilll takes the gifts and the free dinners. So therefor she is a user and most likely using you too. To be honest she is mostly likely fucking some of these dudes too. The fact you appear not to care she goes out on dates with other guys tells her that A) you don't give a shit about her or B) you're a pussy that'll let her do whatever she wants. Either way that's not good for you. If she really likes you then she'll be disappointed you appear not to give a shit. If she's using you, she'll keep you around because she knows you're fucking retarded.

Im a female with experience in this area..HELLO. Im giving you the perspective from her point of view (possibly).

Some of these bozos have ZERO experience with women..fact.

one thing your not taking into account is that it's multiple guys, and guys that she just met at the bar. she hasn't even know the guys for even a month. so you can't really say it's because she enjoys their company, because she doesn't even really know them on a personal level.

:1orglaugh
i've learned to see through bs over the years, not justify it.

sorry.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

accepting gifts knowing she isnt going to give up the pussy makes her a user... good grief.. grow up.

oh the male psyche runs wild sometimes :1orglaugh

I dont know her, correct. But you are making this into far more than what it really is.

Is she married?.. Have you declared her your girlfriend officially? My bet is if she declares you her "boyfriend" ..she wont be going out to eat after work with many guys, maybe a few on occassion..she will be racing home to you to get a good pussy pounding then fall asleep.

I wonder what the opinions would be if the guy was the bartender going out and the girl was the part time almost girlfriend :1orglaugh

Seriously, my hubby and I have been together for 13 years..going on 14.. I danced , bartended and worked in the porn industry for all of those years...he is secure and I have been faithful. I guess I must be the whore excpetion :1orglaugh

Hell, the man lets me fun wild at festivals with boys half my age.. but he knows who I come home to and he trusts me not to fuck it up.

CU_Next_Tuesday you are definately an exception..

You wouldn't believe how girls act these days...

Often regular girls I meet are bigger whores than their porn counterpart..

sounds like trouble at some point in time

BRAVO - there in lies the answer!!!!:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup:pimp:pimp:pi mp

lock her in a cage and do not let her out for a few weeks

Who is talking about controlling??? If I read correctly , the guy is just asking if he should trust a the girl and the answer , from her actions is FUCK NO.

LOL..your scaring me. you got some psychotic tendencies huh?

yeah pretty much.

user
2. a person who uses something or someone selfishly or unethically [syn: exploiter]

ex·ploit
2. to use selfishly for one's own ends:


Where am I wrong?

Has she been wearing a lot of new jewelry lately?

A what being a whore?

Oh and before you go telling me to grow up I turn 40 this year so yeah I think I know a thing or 2 on how the world works. You women always have to defend each other no matter what don't you? Quit getting offened because some other chick got caught being called out for what she is.

If you are picking her up after work, you know who she is going home with.

As a former bartender, I have a lot of pretty cool stuff that was given to me by my customers. Most of it is sports oriented, as they all knew who my favorite teams were.

I never slept with any of them, and if they hoped that I would, they were never obvious about it.

Stop and think about this industry. How many members shower solo girls with stuff off their wish lists? Do they think they'll really get a chance to fuck them? No, they are lonely guys, and the girl (if she's smart) knows how to play that to keep them coming back.

There is not a vast difference between a solo girl who knows how to interact and retain her members and a bartender who knows how to be friendly and rake in tips. Well, there is the nudity difference, of course, but it is a business, and both women are there to make money.

I'd not worry about it, were I you. If you do get to the point where you do care about her, and the dinners bother you, then you could and probably should ask her to not go to them.

But to ask her to stop accepting presents from customers is overboard, imho.

Kinda sounds like the porn industry.