Gimmie a hand
 

Okey, so, here i am, i just came home, kinda drunk but kinda tired, so it´s half and half (i could either keep drinking or go to bed) so it´s your fucking choice. Vote for

a) Go get some fucking sleep

b) Get in the car and buy some fucking Coronas.

Is your choice, and yes, this is as pathetic and pointless
as it gets. Shank yiu.

call a hooker

my ex has some sort of call screening device.

She won´t pick up the phone when i call.

ouch! :1orglaugh

in these situations there is only one answer. Drink more beer and have a burrito.

Damn, that was the answer i was looking for!

Is like when you´re a kid and you know that you won´t
fly like Superman if you jump off the roof, but instead
of asking your parents if it´s a good idea, you go and ask
the kid that most hate you in the block for advice.

*driving to the liquor store*

Driving drunk? Now ain't that nice. I hope you get BUSTED.

go to sleep

Thanks for the *wishing well*.

and i´m only HALF drunk. And maybe you have seen too many idiots getting busted or killed while driving *under the influence*, but i´m a pro in this matters.

I don´t speed or pull stunt acts when i had a beer or two.
I´m ten times more aware of what i do behind the wheel.