Did porn change your view of women?
 

My ex-gf just gave me a call. Interesting 2 hours. It always is, talking to her. The same tired narrative--"I've finished applying to med school, got accepted to UCSF, UCLA, etc etc I just hope I pick the right school cuz I want to specialize in pediatrics. I'm going out with a junior investment banker from Salomon. How's business going. yadda yadda yadda What are YOU doing with YOUR life?"

And as you know, guys, as fun as these conversations [instant judgments and ego whippings] go, it inevitably wandered to the topic of "Don't you think your exposure to pornography led you to a DEGRADED view of women?"

What I said to her shocked her. Shocked her enough so that I hope our next verbal soiree will revolve less around the MCAT admission levels for west coast medical schools and other yuppie bullshit and focus on more REAL things....like how women and men interact. My answer to her was "Actually, porn has given me a better appreciation of women because it stripped me of their sexual mystique."

Really, whether you do galleries, content production, graphic design, or, like me, mass opt in mail/intelligent databasing, you reach a point that you start looking at women's bodies and faces as CONTENT. Accordingly, your interest is not so much what makes a woman HOT but what makes a woman NOT HOT. You think along the lines, is this content 'commercial grade' so that it converts the niche audience I am targetting. Some people would say that this dehumanizes women. I look at it as a process that strips the "Gee Whiz, I'd like to bang that" factor in a man. An adult webmaster judges content based on formulas gleaned from hours, days, months, years of looking at server logs/ref logs, sales counters, chargebacks, and other minutiae. This formula guides us in weeding out content. But it also has an important side effect---it allows us to look at women in a different light outside of sexuality.

Applied to dealing with women outside of content selection/marketing, I see implicit in this formula, the ability to DIVORCE OURSELVES from being drawn to the physical uniqueness of a woman and leaving ourselves, at least its been my experience, open to a woman's other qualities--the way she thinks, the way she argues, the way she strings her words together, etc. I find this liberating....for both parties.

Non-adult webmasters, guys who either don't look at pornography or only dabble with it, have to deal with the sexual veneer of a woman and this can be intoxicating specially if you don't realize that the sexual aspect of a woman [or a man for that matter] is most interchangeable and, really, uninteresting quality about a person. Its easy to be trapped in physicality instead of using it as a door to exploring other facets of that person and sharing/exploring yourself at the same time.

I think my profession allows me to get past this veneer and blow open the door---and actually be honest about wanting to look inside. Sure...pornography is degrading...it degrades the sexual veneer and allows for, should we choose it, more mature peeks into a person's world.


Just my rant for tonight. :)

Its back to Branford Marsalis, a glass of Chablis, and editing tonights mass porn mailings. :thumbsup

I didn't read you whole post but I will comment... I still have the same view of women that I always did

Pornography = selling a fantasy that does not exist.

It's not reality. You have to know these facts or you are fucked and will end up being disappointed most of the time with your future relationships. Remove the glasses of a porn businessman selling those fantasies when you finish your work, and you'll be fine.

Good point. But how does that fit in with my post re stripping away sexual mystique?

This business had changed my view of MEN! Sometimes I have a moment of clarity and I cant believe that I have a nice lifestyle because guys are jerking off to my sites! When I started making money from my first site in late 95 I still worked in real estate. I would look around the office and imagine that all of the normal guys I saw every day were the exact demographic of men who buy porn.

I am definitely less judgemental about sexuality now but sometimes I see someone who has been a member of my pregnant site for 3 years and think......what the fuck??!! Its still a mystery ;)

Actually I think porn has done a bit the opposite to me. I find that i'm more picky now about looks than when I was before. Go figure heh.

Yes. These days I consider all women a possible HIV threat to innocent adult webmasters :1orglaugh

I think the same exact way lol, and could never find a "good looking" women anymore

No, hasnt changed my view. What has changed my view is how women I' ve known treated me like shit.


Reminds me of a joke I heard....

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?




A battery has a positive side.

Yes. I don't know about sexual mystique, but I definitely view people in general differently than I did 5 years ago. Whether it be an individual's inhibitions, motivations, boundaries, or lack of boundaries...it's all pretty raw and visible in the adult marketplace.

I'm one of those guys that hate women but loves girls :Graucho

Yes, porn has changed my view of women.

I think that you can ride around in a van and pick up strange women on the street. Then with a bit of coaxing, and a wallet of cash, you can convince them to come back to your appartment and fuck them on tape.

I agree with this. I am dating another webmaster who has told me that he lives in a fantasy world and who has created such a fantasy of what women should be like he is often disappointed with what he gets....sad aint it. Being able to separte fantasy from reality is really important, or else u will end up lonley and miserable. Even the hot chicks in porn have their flaws, and that needs to be understood!

Very entertaining answer. :1orglaugh

my old ways were to impress and showoff to a women but now i'm more layed back and wait for them to showoff and impress me (with their mind or body). if they bore me then i jump straight to sex talk and jokes and make them feel a bit uncomfortable. if they still bore me i go home and look at porn.

porn is great

Porn has changed the way I look at women. First you need to understand that everyone on this board "works in porn" and doens't surf the web for porn for pleasure.

When I see a woman in a strip club or on the street the first thing I look for is faults. "Oh, I can edit that out in photoshop".

And don't anyone ever tell me they are selling a fantasy that doesn't exist; I'm living it. In two weeks I'm moving into a five bedroom custom house, and earlier today I dropped $15k on a new motorcycle. I spend my days with hot eighteen and nineteen year old girls sitting on my lap and offering all kinds of favors.

The fantasy is there; You just have to work for it.

My "view of women"? What could that mean? Do you mean to ask whether I think of women as more lowly creatures since starting to photograph them for adult websites? Definitely not! Indeed, and perhaps because I stay away from extreme hardcore (the hardest I do is 2-girls or a girl with a toy) I can concentrate on beauty (and, yes, I even try to make toy shots pretty and to show the girl as enjoying herself and feeling empowered through her toy...after all, she's showing she doesn't need a man).

I do find the view of women I run into quite a bit here as a bit demented. I would never call the young women I work with hos, or bitches, or sluts, or c*nts, but I see this kind of terminology used all the time around here. I know some of you think that way about the women I work with, but most of them are really as sweet as can be. They are just exhibitionists, not hookers, and you get the best work out of them if you let them know you think they're worthwhile, never say anything demeaning but instead pump up their egos. Show yourself trustworthy and kind and generous and not scheming to get a piece of ass off them, and they not only give you the best work, but are loyal and send their friends your way.

I just feel sorry for the guys who only want to see girls fucked in the ass or with a cock in her mouth or engaging in bukkake. I'm not saying any of those things are inherently bad or degrading (except for the bukkake, perhaps), but that anyone whose fantasy life dwells on women as sperm receptacles does have a sick view of women.

now i always wonder if the chick has a dick...

that wouldn't be a very good surprise...

i'm JEALOUS! lol. sounds great, however I think what some of these people are stating, is the fact that yes you can live a fantasy and it can be very nice, however it isn't genuine. My good friend's mother, who happens to be a very attractive middle aged woman, married this multi-millionaire, and they live a very materialistic based life. on the outside you would think these people have it all, but in reality, deep down, they're completely miserable. always fighting, always hating, the only thing that binds them together is the wealth.

what I'm saying is if you're easily satisfied by the material things in life, like sex and money, then sure, living a "fantasy" with those 18/19 year olds is fine... but is there anything "genuine" there from those girls, well i'm doubting it.

but anyways, as for my views on woman, they've obviously changed. in fact, every single person here has changed their views, whether or not it be a small amount, or a great amount, whether or not it be concious or sub concious, we still have. a very large majority of us have expozed ourselves to many many days of girls being fucked. it has effected our views whether we like it or not, and psychologically it plays into our perception of woman. we've had the oppurtunity to see what girls will do for money and pleasure. we've focused our whole career basically on one side of a woman. so being that we're all different, some will take this influence and will look for girls that we envision to be the porno-type, and others will do the opposite and look for a girl who is innocent. all a matter of interest :)

its late, i'm rambling.

i didnt read that.

but every girl i see now its like i got xray vision and can see the size of their nipples and if they are shaved or not... im not sure if thats a good thing tho

definitely good

well i mean.. she'll be talking to me.. and ill be thinking in the back of my mind.. "hmm i bet its a V shape.. nah.. maybe a heart, ya that'd be cool... er hmm maybe she's not shaved at all..." then its my turn to talk and id be like.. "oh hi, whats your name again?" lol shit like that drives me crazy

i guess it only happens when im drunk o_0

Pimplink,

Nice post.

My view of women (and men) has changed quite a bit in the past half-decade or so. I really don't know how much of it from my involvement in porn or not though.

Totally agree with you there, MissEve, Like I said it myself ;) Before I started my amateur website, I had no idea there were THAT many over-horny men surfing the net for porn day after day. Some of them are going to the same camsites every single night for over 3 years, telling us that it's because their wife never feel like having sex with them. (Well that doesn't surprise me after all, if my man was jerking of infront of the computer every fucking day, I would have kicked his ASS!!! :1orglaugh ).

So now when I've been in this biz for some years, and recieved so many weird e-mails from male surfers, asking me "hi can we meet and fuck??", "hi, can I fuck you for $3000?", and blabla...Thay haven't understoos a thing, the fact that porn IS a created fantasy, they are supposed to view it and jerk off for their own pleasure, not thinking that they really can just drop by and fuck me like a whore. That's the thing that irritates me, but ofcourse I know that this is something I just have to deal with, since I run a site like I do. But I just have to admit that I am amazed how differently people are acting In Real Life, and on the net as a superhorny surfer... :2 cents:

And then about my view of women, I am bisexual, I love beautiful women. But I DO have to admit, that after being in this biz for awhile, when I'm in the cite in the summer, watching all these lovely women, I can't stop thinking that "OH MY GOD, she would be a GREAT nude-model!...Very good content" ;)
Hehe...feel alittle ashamed about that, but really it's just a compliment, right?

At least my IRL view of both men and women has not changed, I still think that their personality is the most important thing of all.

This was half of the reason why I married my ex-wife; the other half was that she was hot as hell.

I got into this biz after I got married and at the beginning, it drove my ex nuts. That is UNTIL I took her to one of the InterNext conventions in Vegas. There she got to see 2 things; 1) what the girls really looked like without Photoshop and airbrushing and 2) how I reacted to seeing naked and half-naked women everywhere. When she saw that I wasn't reduced to a drooling idiot (like she suspected I would be) then she understood that I wasn't into this biz to fulfill some missing need, that it was just a business. And she never had an issue with it again.

So has porn changed my view of women? No. But it did change my ex-wife's view. Not everything is as it seems :1orglaugh

"Don't you think your exposure to pornography led you to a DEGRADED view of women?"

In a word: YEP!

Porn has corrupted me ....

When i see a find girl i always picture her in a spread eagle, and wonder, would she sell on the internet.

Well, shooting girls has affected me in some way but I wouldn't say it's so essential. Yep, now when I see some more or less cute teen the first thought sometimes can be "I could make $xxx per one session with her", but I do not think so too frequently (it depends on my mood :)

And actually I like girls more now then before. I look for good sides in each of them in real life now (exactly as I do when shooting them) and thus I'm finding them more attractive then before, when I just was giving a glance and passed by.

It has changed my view. After having viewed so many undressed women that have pretty faces but have body features (among other things pussies that look like they have been surgically mutilated) that are not pleasing to my eye, I now prefer to view pretty women with their clothes on.

Kinda interesting how the first reaction by women is always of a competitive nature.

pimplink is correct

Bitches ain't shit, but hoes and tricks. :drinkup

i always knew u were a post-op tranny!

:winkwink:

but seriously...after seeing so much porn, it is just boring to me. i tend to appreciate things like lighting and setup more than i do the actual porn. i also appreciate gorgeous women in clothing or partially nude.

in real life...well, i don't feel like i look down on women. i just look down on strippers and hookers and total sluts that fuck around and act like complete whores to get people's attention.

porn is just a business, not a perverted hobby...

hahahah :1orglaugh

Actually, looking at naked women all day has made me appreciate written erotica more. Also, paying more attention to a woman's voice and how she describes things.

i agree with the content post, where u look at a girl and judger her as an asset 2 u. this of course is because most women are fucking skanks and not worth ur time (so why not think about smearing them w/ facials instead)

:thumbsup

Hmmmm, this is not what I said.

Porn as changed my view on women who work in the sex industry whether that be strippers or models for the internet, i now get annoyed when anyone says "women are degrading themselves" "women like that are slags" etc, simply is not true, its bizness.

:thumbsup Well said. I am not just a webmaster but a content producer so I have a front line experiance point of view. (translation) I pay models to blow me. I have done this for going on six years and my overall opinion of women has not changed at all. I love them but, it has deffintly demistified the sexual part of a women. My most famous quaote is "A blow job has become a job."

I am not disarmed when I see a pretty women somewhere like when I was younger. I still go "wow look at that." But now I go "I know what it like to blank a girl like that." Most of the people I know in the adult world are very well adjusted sexualy speaking. They are "over it" so to speak. Now the people who view or purchase our product well that another story.

my two cents.

Thomas.

they are all sluts... :winkwink:

If you find a real woman then she will understand from the start. I never lied to my girlfriend about what I do and occassionally we've watched some stuff together. Her only aprehension about porn is that she doesn't want me to think about other girls when we are having sex. Which is no problem for me because I love her.

If anything porn has desensitized me and I spend more time thinking about important issuses and about my relationship with my girlfriend.

Yeah, my view of women does start changing. Some of our live-chat/masturbation rooms are located on our floor... Would you resist those lovely young chicks? :-)

If you don't mind me asking, what is the going rate in the Czech republic for those types of livechat? What's the salary of your average girl?

Well...

I have been running an adult site for about 2 years and yes, I can sawy this work changed my view of women : I lost the habilit to be enchanted by the flicks and tricks that gorgeus girls (porn actresses, magazine´s girls, scorts, hookers, etc...) use to seduce an ordinary man.

So I think porn is a good think : it maskes you became smarter... :)

Well escorting and then running a porn site then several porn sites have made me re-think aot of shit.... First I never really respected women nor myself it wasnt unitll I was divoriced and raising my kids by myself. I gained alot of respect for single mothers and mothers in general. Then came the porn Why I kinda of respect women now because you see alot of modles that are not wanting to do this type of work but since they got tits and an ass they do it for a little money. IF they are good alot of money.


So what I have learned women are not DUMB women are very smart and alot smartter then us men... women has something everyone wants and it don't matter how cute to how ungodly ugly they are and THEY know this. and THEY use it If we as men could do the same we would be rich...


so i know its confusing and shit when I type but ole well its just me... I respect women love women and cant wait to find one for myself. When I do find one again that will love me for me and not my past or what I have done I will treat her like a queen. and i will respect her for her and wont care about her faults cause little faults are great to have and alot better then not having anyone at all... So women black white fugly cutie I bow to you... Oh yea basck on the subject I dont look at women only as a sex object anymore I look at women as a human but dont get me wrong Ill be driving around or in mycase Riding around or out somewhere and see a girl and be like OMG what I would like to do to that ass. I still catch myself doing that. I swear women can bring you so much then without notice take so much MORE from you...


Peace just need to vent alittle and I know what i was talking about and if anyone else don't sorry

TOM

Has it changed my view?

We all act, grow and change, react and respond to different situations, experiences and people.

Like the women who do content they are acting and reacting to a fantasy. I keep that in mind as I always have remain more objective than to reduce myself to subjective trash by labelling them with an insult.

I think its changed my view of sex, I need things alot kinkier to get excited then before. I used to love watching porn now it does nothing for me. Naked women are no big deal I could sit in a room of them and it does nothing. I think we wouldnt be swingers if we didnt work in internet porn.

Blondes are people too.

<img src=http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesP/platinumblonde_160.jpg border="1">

sounds like you are hung up on your ex

just kidding

my view of women was shaped at an early age. I need professional help.