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How to be the "Funny Guy" in your office

10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don't,
and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the
sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you were just kidding and tell them that
they are all a bunch of fucking queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the meeting,
put one finger in the air and make a noise like you are hocking up a
loogie.Then spit the custard into a glass and hand it to the person next to
you and say, "Beat that."

7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then piss
in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good ass fucking.

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand down
your pants.

5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know" then call the
person a racial slur that doesn't even correspond to their actual race.

4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts.
Get them all sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hands.

3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it,
tell them it is the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up, and
realize that their hand is covered in shit, laugh and point at them and call
them a fucking asshole.

2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It
won't stop! Help me!" Then when it stops, look down and say "Oh."

1. Ask to borrow someones pen. Bring it into the bathroom and stick it in
your ass. Take it back to the person you borrowed from and ask them to smell
it. When they tell you that it smells bad, tell them, "It should. I had it
in my ass."