It pays to be counterpoductive!
 

It pays to be counterproductive if you work in a counter factory. Otherwise, it will probably get you fired.
~~Things Jack Handy wishes he'd said

Whooomp Whooomp

Some real Jack. :thumbsup

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I?d say Flippy, wouldn?t you? You?d be wrong, though. It?s Hambone.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn?t seem quite so funny.


If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn?t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we?d all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn?t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.