Airport security is such a friggen joke sometimes...
 

So I'm at the Phoenix airport yesterday on my way home after an AWESOME forum and I'm going thru "security". Whenever possible I always ONLY do carry on. I pull my toiletry bag out of my suitcase and put it on the belt. Gotta make sure my deadly mix of hairgel, deodorant, toothpaste, cologne and shaving cream all fit into a 1-quart baggie, therefore making it physically impossible for me to get to it in-flight. Then I get a lecture from the woman about how I should pull the baggie OUT of the toiletry bag to save everyone time.

"umm... Ma'am... I can appreciate the rules you guys have going on here, but if time is important here, your lecture took a lot longer than the physical act of unzipping the bag and looking at the contents"

So then she asks me if I packed a snow globe in my suitcase to which my reply was "yes... I do this every time I travel home. I buy my son a snow globe from each of the cities I travel to all year long."

Bag check time. No telling what kind of threat I pose NOW.

So the guy rifles thru my very meticulously packed suitcase... which for me is like getting teeth pulled.

"sir... are you looking for anything other than my dangerous snow globe?"

"no... where is it?"

"that black plastic bag right in front with the paper wrapped around it to look like a present."

So of course he unwraps and pulls it out and says I can't take it with me cuz it's more than 3 ounces. NOT because I could have injected it with something... but simply cuz it's more than 3 ounces.

Well that's logical.

My options? Either go all the way back to check in and get my bag checked in... or go to the post office in the airport and mail it.

"all this for a $15 gift for my 4 year old son?... throw the god damned thing away" I told him.

Then I walked 20 feet to the gift store, saw the same exact snowglobe there, bought it, and put it in my suitcase.

Nice.

Upon my return to Austin I see an 80 year old man getting frisked right there in front of everyone COPS style.

"Are you friggen KIDDING ME?"... I shouted out to the guys... "SHAME ON YOU."

I'm probably on everyone's watch list now...

I'm still a bit perturbed that we continue to have to take off our shoes. I feel like I live in a police state every time I fly.

belts too.... sort of like stripping down :)

Everyone is a terrorist these days accoring to security. hence why I hate flying

took me an hour and a half to get into the country 5 days ago. The lady asked me what type of work I did while holding up a pair of Freeones thongs lol

mentioned something with models, got some more q's and was send away with a nice enjoy your stay haha!

Hate customs.

The worst that happened to me was once I almost missed my flight from Chicago to Vegas a year ago and had to take all the baggage with me on the plane, the result:

- 14 original bohemian Budweiser beers - confiscated
- 2 bottles of original Beaujalais - confiscated

I hope the folks from the security had a good time.

Usually don't have any issues with security controls as far as I know every single rule, but this time it was me who sucked, cause I was 4 minutes late for the check in...

Ohhh man the stories I have...

It's come to the point now where I am SCARED of customs.

I do whatever I can to be as pleasant as possible and not carry anything that could be slightly suspicious.

I have never even thought about doing anything illegal but these idiots must get a kick out of terrorizing tired passengers.

Sorry to hear it Jay. Though that's a cakewalk compared to going through customs in San Francisco for international travel. Strip searches and anal probes :Oh crap

And if your wear a hoodie or something similar you have to take it off and it have to be X-rayed :Oh crap

We had a similar problem years ago at a Dave Matthews Band concert. At a prior concert my wife had purchased a DMB keychain with a can opener. Going into one of their concerts security told us we couldn't have it. We tossed it into the trash and thirty feet later bought another one just like it.

i dont take anything with me anymore besides clothes and toiletry articles. not even a laptop. and i am always "on vacation"

Yup... I can imagine everyone has their version of a pain in the ass story... or worse.

Carlos... fuck man, I would have been LIVID.

Thought about that but saying I am on vacation for 3 or 4 days is mostly not making any sense :D

when i was leaving there, the computer picked me for a random search. so i had to go thru another line, they took all my shit to search and they patted me down. it took 20 mins. wtf???????????

Add airport security to the list of things that piss me off!

Feel like a police state? The fucking republicans and religious right would love to make it a police state. The drug war is an ethnic and social cleansing of sorts. Revolution, it's in the constitution. This government is corrupt. Almost the whole lot of them.

OH MAN.... I know your pain Jay!!!

We get our little girl a snow globe every time we are at an airport, she has soooo many of them from everywhere and loves them.

In LA I bought a big pretty one at the airport in a shop right outside of security.. there.. at the airport.

When I went through security they told me I COULD NOT take it with me and they were throwing it away. :disgust

I lost my damn mind on those people, I wanted my snowglobe!

About 20 of the security dudes came over trying to calm me down..

I WAS NOT LEAVING without the snowglobe. I paid $50 for it :mad:

In the end.... I finally got my snowglobe back. :winkwink:

but will never buy one outside of the airport again.. fuckers!!

Sorry, I had to vent lol :thumbsup

In the news lately has been the story about the poor woman who had nipple rings and they made her take them out while all the male TSA officers snickered at her - at least it was just the nipples and not the clit - LOL!

Airport security sucks... that's why we fedex our luggage to our location and only do carry-ons.

Well.. it's getting away from the topic a bit, but that's not exactly true, and really - that mindset (as popular as it is) just muddles the waters and encourages partisanship.

A Police State thrives best in, and can even be defined as, a government where the "authorities" are armed, and the general population isn't. When you consider second amendment rights, and what side of the fence people generally sit on in regards to partisanship on that issue, I think it becomes obvious where your statement is flawed. :2 cents:

That said, yes... much of what we have going on is a result of the values of the current administration. I almost wouldn't mind it so much if even half of it was even necessary... but I'm of the mind that most of it is done for dramatic effect for the benefit of the population, and has no real logistical purpose in preventing the "turror'ests."

hehe and the best thing, I think it said that they let her go through with her belly peircing.

ps. this going with the story of the lady having to remove nipple piercing

I think the lady with the nipple piercing is getting Gloria Allred to represent her.

This could possibly be a financial blessing in disguise.

I think it's time for me to finally get a prince albert.

Most of these agents are morons who feel empowered by following the Bush Administration like brainless sheep.

Wow that blows :( I havent flown since the mid 90's and genuinely cannot imagine doing so under such a climate.

Coming back from Costa Rica, I bought a 4 pack of Johnny Walker... 1 bottle black, one green, one gold, and one blue. This was at the duty free store. As the flight was departing, they brought out all the duty free items and allowed us to board the plane.

When I get back to the US for my connecting flight (after customs), I go through the security checkpoint. Of course, they stop my bag and ask what I have and if it's Alcohol. Of course I say yes and expect to go. NOPE!

The guy tells me I have 2 options: Check my bag or throw the scotch away. Being as the purchase set me back a few hundred, I say "I guess I'll check the bag in", meaning the bag the scotch came in.

I go back to the counter and my flight is 10 mins away from departure. I hand them the duty free bag and she says "No... You need to check it in with your carry on." My carry-on is a backpack with all of my stuff for the plane: PSP, Ipod, PSP games, convention notes, magazines, power adapters, etc. Reluctantly I pulled out my PSP and checked the bag.

Long story short, I get home and see my bag has been riffled through and my Ipod and Bose headphones are gone.

So much for duty free!

Soon we will be required to travel naked and no bags at all!

Well on one hand its reassuring to see I'm so not alone on this, but on the other it angers me to see friends ripped off like that :(

I guess my frustration must pale in comparison.

It's weird, I have never once been checked when traveling - EVER. Until London and Ireland where with my blonde hair/blue eyes, I fit right in, lol. And neither of my traveling companions got frisked (and one is a well known hooker killer).

I came running in late once (I didn't realize ATL had a 45 minute requirement for checked luggage until the friend I was flying with told me when I was 30 minutes from the airport) so I didn't have all my stuff packed for "carry on" and they STILL let me through with no problems and I was literally the 2nd to the last person on the plane

But put me in England or Ireland and I look like a terrorist.

Guys, Here are some simple things to keep in mind when traveling. Have a tissue in your hand at all times, and make sure to blow your nose often. Make some good juicy noises at the same time. Make sure to cough some as well.

Also pick your nose some, and make sure the screeners see you doing so. Wipe your finger on your travel bag etc.

works every time.

It's weird, I have never once been checked when traveling - EVER. Until London and Ireland where with my blonde hair/blue eyes, I fit right in, lol. And neither of my traveling companions got frisked (and one is a well known hooker killer).

I came running in late once (I didn't realize ATL had a 45 minute requirement for checked luggage until the friend I was flying with told me when I was 30 minutes from the airport) so I didn't have all my stuff packed for "carry on" and they STILL let me through with no problems and I was literally the 2nd to the last person on the plane

But put me in England or Ireland and I look like a terrorist.

Guess I should count myself lucky. I was bummed I did not bring anything home from Amsterdam as no one even looked at me.

this IS a police state

It's up to you not to heed the call-up
You must not act the way you were brought up
Who knows the reasons why you have grown up?
Who knows the plans or why they were drawn up?

It's up to you not to heed the call-up
I don't wanna die!
It's up to you not to heed the call-up
I don't wanna kill!

For he who will die
Is he who will kill

rip JS

On my way to Phx from SFO I saw a little girl being put in those "security" machines they have at SFO and her Mom was rightfully freaking out. The girl was no older than 7 years old but hey we gotta fight those 7 year old terrorist to!

Look, the people working for the TSA may have been manning the register at McDonalds the week before. You can't give them shit, or expect anything but the worst.

I had a large metal cylinder in my carry on along with a number of other items that usually lead to my bag being searched. They were busy asking me to take off my sandals yet they never questioned the contents of my bag.

the funny thing is nobody would have to carry on anything if they didnt steal everything that you send below.

My method for a secure airplane is

#1 no door between cockpit and passengers ( theres a door on the floor already in the cockpit to get out )
#2 no communication between the passengers and cockpit , all comunication must first go to the ground then back up this way no hijacking happens
#3 you cant carry anything on board with you , not even your wallet. everything is put in a "safety deposit box" like at the bank , before you board the plane , you are given a key and you unlock upon deboarding.

Gawd i hate them and their power trips

I dont carry anything except clothes and a digi camera, less drama, i buy other things when i reach the other destination

When I'm going to fly somewhere: I shave, wear 'normal people' clothes, rather than trying to look like an extra from an Al Pacino movie, and am unmistakeably whiter than the Osmonds. I don't have too many problems that way.

Toss in a personal TV in every seat with a gaming system or digital cable, and I'm fine with this! :thumbsup

Smokey for President!

There is no consistency in the rule. I flew back to South Africa through LAX and they took my toothpaste, after shave and deodorant because I didn't do what they want. Then I go to Vegas last week to play and totally forget the rule and nothing happens, no one says anything

No consistency at all

G

lol, im glad europe isn't htis bad. When i was coming back from greece the guy looked at the wrong end of my passport, then told me go ahead.

It was great seeing you Jay... lighten up dude

i had no problems this time, but have had many in the past. i guess after they've anal probed you a dozen times and found nothing they give up

LOL!

And great seeing you too Mitch.

See you in San Fran!

Just kidding man. It does suck sometimes but it certainly is better than the alternative.

I went through a full security stop leaving Phoenix... fucking ridiculous...

TSA guys explain to me when pulling me out of line that it's standard procedure... to which I respond I just watched you guys let at least 100 people go ahead of me, and at least 50 after me with out pulling anyone... I don't buy standard procedure.

Long story short... They quite literally swabbed every fucking key on my laptop, every inch of my carry-on, and anything else they could find to swab and test after asking me questions for 30 minutes. Very very very annoying. Have you ever seen anyone take a stack of 100 business cards before and swab and test each one individually? Tedious to say the least.

the worst is when you get your bag searched and they pull out your sex toys and wave them around for everyone to see. that has happened to every female i know at one time or another. i think they do it on purpose after scanning the bags. if it looks like a dildo is in the bag, they want to investigate and then go wack-off in the bathroom after. i wanted to die when it happened to me and never traveled with toys again.

Good seeing you at the show Jay!

There is a bigger issue here than the obvious frustration that well all feel. That of serious organized theft rings operating at LAX and other airports.
Since the 911 crackdown baggage handlers know that a lot more valuable stuff is placed in checked bags and by valuable I dont just mean laptops or cameras. Women's clothing, sports shoes and expensive makeup are being systematically removed from passenger and flight crews checked bags.

Now you might say people are stupid to check cameras and laptops but on the small LAX to San Diego, American Eagle flights there is hardly room for a toothbrush let alone a Canon 5D with a huge lens in the cabin. So there is sometimes no choice but to valet the bags when you walk to your flight. Its these valet bags that are getting ripped off and in huge numbers, its so bad that the Airlines dont want you to know about this new trend.

Then when you find stuff missing try to claim for it and see what happens :321GFY

Dumb Dumb Dumb.....
 

OH JAY! You'll never NOT be harassed again after that.

When I was coming back from FL last year I had bought an ocean globe to bring home as a gift. This was in my carry on as I didn't want it slammed around and broken like so many things when you send your bags into the abyss. I had absolutely NO issues in the FL airport what so ever. Me and my ocean globe got on the plane w/o issue.

I had a layover in Dallas and met my sister for dinner there for having to go back through security. NOW there's a big fucking issue with my globe. I looked at the TSA and I said... "now you know I flew from Florida to here with that in my backpack right?" He looked at me and said, "well you'll have to check it this time maam." I was like, your fucking kidding me right? Next thing you know they are escorting me back to the front desk of the airline to check my fucking globe. When I get there I'm treated like shit by the bitch at the front desk and told I've already checked 2 bags so I'm going to have to pay extra for this item to be put on the plane.

The fucked up thing is that there was 4 of us leaving FL at the same time and they checked someone else's bag to me so he never got his bag when he arrived in TUCSON, some 5 hours earlier. This woman at the counter continues to argue with me about my bags. I told her look, *by now I'm really angry and prolly have the I'm going to kill you soon look on my face* I can tell you who I checked in with at the FL airport and who's bag I have mysteriously checked to me. FINALLY this bitch agrees to get me a box for my fucking globe and check it for free.

I could not believe the way we were treated by the airlines because of their own fuck up. IF the dumbasses in FL knew how to check bags, we would have all had our own ticket stubs, AND if they had just made me check it in FL this would have never happened. :321GFY FL baggage checkers!! I hate to fly anymore!


/end rant

I have stories for days but I am still trying to catch my breath from my OJ Simpson like run through Sky Harbor yesterday morning.

A line of 300 passengers waiting for one skycap at Southwest made me almost miss myflight-
If it weren't for sprinting, cutting in line in front of Media and the GGW crew ( who were on my same plane I later found out hahaha) and Earth Wind and Fire's Mgr. ( hot chick)
I was reeling.

After going to bed pretty late and waking up to be at the airport an hour before my flight I was almost fucked!

That security line sucked ass- but they let me fly through this time because I was panting..

Fuck Flying I wanna buy an RV