M.O.A.M. = mother of all megaturds
 

I haven't taken a dump since early Monday morning.

Yesterday, I had some kind of Swedish sausage and cheese omelette with potatoes for breakfast. Then in the afternoon, it was carne asada, beans, rice, and ham.

At night, I had a salad and leftover falafel that I made Saturday night. I've been eating falafel all weekend.

I just went to take a dump and I strained for like 5minutes but nothing. It was like somebody fused my asshole shut. I could feel things moving in my stomach and can now.

Five minutes ago, I let out a fart that was so majestic that the Gods in Asgard may think that Heimdall has blown the Gjallarhorn

I'm leaving work in 15 minutes and hope that Ragnarok doesn't happen in my pants.

You my friend, should write a novel