Things you learn from watching porn
 

Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy fucks.

People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those tits are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Pigtails = handlebars.

:1orglaugh

I love this post, made me laugh!

HAHA that was great!! Thanks! Looks like you have done your research! lol

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

"Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there. "

So very, very true!

Assholes are clean.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

At least half of those are true in my world. Damn, this thread made me feel good about life.

You had to watch porn to learn all of that??? Pshhh...I've always known that stuff...chalk it up to good instincts I guess :winkwink:

LOL, quality post.

So true! :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Nice one those are sooooo true :)

:1orglaugh

This is one of the best posts I have seen in some time.

I love asian babes

porn is such a fantasy... why nobody likes real life sex? :)

hehe nice

damn straight. i tell my girl if she aint on the rag she better be wearing a thong

Awesome post indeed! :1orglaugh

this thread rocks!

very funny

definitely right and true!!! :thumbsup

old, but great!

Nice post.. Thanks for sharing..:thumbsup

Good post

timeline?

I lol'd!!!!!!

gr8 post m8.........

This one is completely true! :)

nice info :):):)