GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - Live at a Heart Attack. Pics.

So last night a friend and I rolled a block down the street to get some beer before the movie, and you'll NEVER guess what happens...

The Gas Attendant or high/ drunk dumb ass who's supposed to pump gas walks into the Shell Station, and starts having a HEART ATTACK!!! YES, heart attack!

It's some WILD shit to watch, not like I want to encourage people to start dying around me so I can have a fun show, but this stuff was funny.

Mr Heart Attack is holding his arms up like he's getting robbed, and he CAN'T breath. The cashier dude (Mr Cashier) is LOSING HIS MIND!!!! It's almost funny.

I tell Mr Heart Attack," "You might want to sit down so you don't fall." I figured it's gonna be a while until the EMS guys to get there, might as well make him comfortable...

He doesn't listen... but a few seconds later nature takes over and the loss of "life" after suffering a heart attack helps Mr Heart Attack fall like a tree...

I told him that might happen. I think it hurt.

So there I am... listening to Mr Heart Attack trying to grab his last breath of life on the floor while I'm holding his recently bounced head in my hands... not sure if that's the thing to do... but seemed like the one nice thing I can do for the poor dude.

He's about 40, Arab, drunk/ high, and he's dying, it's time to save a life...

Next to me, Mr Cashier is still LOSING HIS MIND! He's trying to talk to 911 about it, but he's only able to say, "Shell Station. Heart Attack. Hurry." And from his obvious repeating of those few words, I'm guessing the 911 lady is saying something like "Sir, you need to calm down, I'd LOVE to send you some help, but I need to know where you are. Can you please tell me." So he tells her, "Shell Station. Heart Attack. Hurry" and she's just not getting it... :)

I'm kinda worried and smiling, all that at one time, but remember, I came for beer, not this. I pull out my cell, call my friend in the car, and let her know we're not getting beer at this stop, and tell her she can wait in the car, or come watch a heart attack. It's gonna a be a while.

Yep, you guessed it, she walks in. Come on people, what else are you gonna do on a Monday night? Go watch a movie? Ok, Ok, Thats all we wanted to do... But Plans change.

So after Mr Cashier gets about 5 more "Shell Stations" in with the "doesn't sound hot" 911 girl on the other end of the phone, I take the phone from him and talk to her...

Calmly telling her we're at the corner of X street on Y road, and they should send an ambulance. She informs me she "understands that part", and says they're on the way. Apperently they have LOTS of these calls, because Mr Cashier has put her in a bad mood and she's not happy on the other end.

I'll stop referring to her as "doesn't sound hot" and say she's "Crabby at 911."
I figure the stories only half the story unless someone tells it right.

Crabby at 911 ask's me how old he is. "40 ish."

Crabby at 911 ask's where is he? At this point I almost want to say "Shell Station. Heart Attack. Hurry." and pretend to start losing it like Mr Cashier. :) After thinking about it, I think she might not see the humor in it, so I say "on the floor" and let her know he kind of bounced when he hit the gound! Ouch!

Crabby at 911 is asking if he's breathing. "Nope."

Then smartly Crabby at 911 ask's if anyones doing CPR. "Yes."

Now apparently "Mr Cashier" has been trained in CPR, and wants a raise from his boss, or something... because he's doing mouth to mouth. I'm not sure if he was doing CPR or not, but he was doing mouth to mouth FOR SURE!

Ops, looks like Mr Heart Attack is back to breathing on his own... Funny how 2 guys don't get along very well when 1 has his mouth on the other's mouth, and one of them doesn't really want the other guy helping them breathe. :)

So I tell Crabby at 911 he's breathing again. She tells me to make sure the Cashier stops doing CPR. DUH!!! Clearly, he's figured that out at this point, does she go to school to be this smart???

Ops, Mr Heart Attack is not breathing again, thankfully Mr Cashier knows CPR still, he's back at it over on the floor with Mr Heart Attack.

I walk out side and watch the EMS Dude get ready. He' probably about 25, and wishing he was watching a movie with some Beer on his Monday night. And it was only a minute, but Mr Heart Attack doesn't have that time...EMS Dude is take his sweet ass time get "ready" out side. SWEET ASS TIME!!!

All he was missing were stretches and a few warm up laps around the gas pumps...

Maybe these guys are used to the heart attack thing, but damn, how long you gonna take to get into the Shell Station? :)

I'm figuring they should run in and save a life, and he's probably thinking, "lets see how far we can take this guy over the edge and bring him back, I really want to use those shock'em paddles tonight."

Being somewhat of a smart ass, I let him know he should hurry up. Probably shouldn't have said that, cuz he's now "Crabby at Shell" instead of EMS Dude!

Crabby at Shell walks in, sets his stuff down, and looks at Mr Heart Attack. You'll NEVER guess what happens next...

Crabby at Shell's pissed. "You need to calm down right now," he tells Mr Heart Attack, almost yelling at him, "Stop trying to breath so fast, and relax."

It's been about 5 minutes since this all started, and I think Mr Heart Attack thinks he's still getting "robbed" because his arms are still up. :) Crabby at Shell lets him know he can put them down now, and surprise surprise, he calms down, and puts his arms down. Amazing.

The EMS people do their thing, and the heart attack show is over for me...

I didn't get the see the shock'em paddles, do rib breaking CPR, nothing like you'd see on TV. It wasn't the most exciting thing to watch on the EMS side of the house... Freaking lame ass ER shows on TV making it seam all dramatic.

What they need to do is have a show based solely on the bs that happens at emergency's before the "help" arrives!!! :)

What a fun Monday night! I rolled to a new beer spot, and hit the movie...

I'm pretty sure the dude was ok after the miracle CPR, the EMS, and all the help from the two of us beer buying spectators!!!

Hope you don't get a tummy ache from the laughing thanks to Mr Heart Attack, Mr Cashier, Crabby at 911, and her friend Crabby at Shell!

Cheers, it's Tuesday, and you should be working!