Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say
 

THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A WOMAN SAY

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. That was fun! When will all of your friends be over to watch porno movies again?

3. The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

4. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal, they'll still cover the spread.

5. Bar food again?? Kick ass!!

6. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

7. That girl's wearing the same outfit I am. How cool! I'm gonna go meet her.

8. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends. Tell me more!

9. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one. What a wonderful Valentine's Day!

10. Let's just leave the toilet seat up all the time; then you won't have to mess with it anymore.

11. It's only the third quarter; you should order a couple more pitchers.

12. Honey, come here! Watch me do a tequila shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

13. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

14. Damn, I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch.

15. You are so much smarter than my father.

16. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch SportsCenter.


:1orglaugh

hmm.. gotta admit, you are probably right

I am all about "5. Bar food again?? Kick ass!!"

Corona is the breakfast of champions!!!

Hi MAGNET I'm Cheshire, I guess we've never met...

[QUOTE]Originally posted by MAGNET
[B]THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A MAN SAY -I wrote these myself!

1. You know, I'm worried about you, do you want to talk for awhile. You know, go over some issues of our relationship that have been bothering you.

2. After SEX......."Let's hold each other and cuddle and ponder this moment, shall we?

3. I love working from home sweetie, it gives us both time to really work on the relationship more, and bring us closer together.

4. I'm back from the store. I got your sanitary napkins, tampons, Super right? And I also got you some Godiva Chocolate for that time of the month. Oh and I almost forgot here's your Cosmo honey.

5. I'm not having the guy's over on Sunday for football, I thought we could relax and fool around a bit. This will be our night.

6. My friend's think your beautiful honey. They say I'm a lucky guy to have found such a sweet girl like you.

7. What girl? No she has nothing on you honey. Your the Cat's Meow!

8. Tell me more about your exboyfriends and how they made you cum more than me.

9. Valentine's Day (7:00a.m.) Happy Valentine's Day sweetie. Oh, here are your gifts. I hope you like it. (The gift is a Tennis Bracelet from Macy's)
Jaw Drops!

10. Honey Friend's is on and Rachel's Pregnant!

:1orglaugh

HEY Cheshire no I guess we never met but nice to meet you it?s a pleasure!:)

LOL good one guys and girls :1orglaugh

I've actually heard a woman say #4. Or something similar. And it was my aunt who is like 26.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by beerbust03
[B]******************************

I usually say #3 but then my G/F tells me ? yea right? all that porn makes you horny and you want some..? :Graucho

I say all these except #8 and #10 to my gf. Am I weird?

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

#17 Unzip your fly, dear, I want to give you another blowjob....

#18 The men of GFY have such huge cocks.

I believe that I have said #2 before :)