Stupid ways that you have injured yourself?
 

I just spent the last 15 minutes trying to stop the tip of my finger from bleeding after I somehow managed to take a big slice out of my finger while opening a cottage cheese container. Thus, confirming my long standing view that cottage cheese is evil. I guess that I ran my finger under the lid as I was taking it up and did what essentially is a big 'plastic cut' sort of like a paper cut.

What are some dumb ass ways that you have managed to injure yourself?

Some months ago I punched a glass in rage and fucked my hand up. Cut thru tendons, veins, permanently damaged the nerves and almost lost my ring finger. I was in surgery for about 7 hours and my hand was in a brace for 3 months. That was pretty stupid, and painful.

Here what I had to put up with for 3 months

http://kclarkmedia.com/hand.jpg

I can barley walk today after going bowling.. Yes I hurt my back bowling this weekend!

Stepping off a curb and twsiting my ankle so bad, I almost passed out.

That and hitting a toyota on my motorcycle. " Oh What a Feeling "

I steped on a small round rock.. rolled my ankle then snapped it and the little bone in my leg. Had to get surgery to screw the bones together so they could heal, spent about a year in one of those "boots" and after 2 1/2 yrs I still have pain. Sucks. :(

and I am just about to go cut up veggies for lunch too

Haha:1orglaugh:1orglaugh
Be careful!

I survived with no new injuries..lol

just recently i've touched brake disc on my car right after stopping... :( damn it HURTS

NEVER grab the steak off of the grill bare handed

i called my boss's daughter a cocksucking crack whore in front of the entire family...

haha nice ps.

I burned my cock in the exhaust pipe of my Range Rover.

I had one of those really violent all body sneezes one time,...you know the kind that almost make you lightheaded...well, I had one while taking a piss in front of a urinal and smashed my head on the flusher...received a concussion and a small cut on my forehead...

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Finally, we can put a name to the pic!
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e1...7/tailpipe.jpg

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I tried to skate down a 4 foot ramp on superbowl sunday without actually knowing how to ride a skateboard without looking like a wobbly idiot. I dropped straight on my knee and it still fucking hurts.

Vid to soon follow.

I sliced open my thumb with a butter knife trying to open the top of a squueeze mustard container. I was holding the bottle and the knife slid on the plastic. 5 stitches, cut the nerve, and I fainted.

lol at all of the above ..
When i was a kid, i was actually fairly decent at BMX freestyle and well i was in my basement on my bike kind of hopping around and practicing spins and balancing and somehow i was spinning .. hopping and twisting and whiped out in my basement ..broke my leg ..went to emergency told the doc the story and he was just looking at me like "wtf were you doing riding your BMX in your basement ..and then enough to actually break your freaking leg .." just cast it and get me outta here dude ..

Dunno if I'd call it an "injury," but when I was a kid (14 or so) I stashed a $100 bill inside this old long, suspended, slim iron pipe that I used for hanging stuff. Sorta an on-the-spot piggy bank.

A few months later, I went to retrieve the bill, but as I stuck my finger in to grab it, it just pushed the bill further back inside the pipe.

So... since it was right near the end anyways, I figured I'd use the power of suction, applied my lips to the end, and inhaled...

Not one of my brighter moments.

Don't think I stopped coughing for a few days as the rust and other debris worked its way out of my lungs.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Oh geeze, I could write a book:

1. cut my thumb while carving a pumpkin - 2 stitches
2. cut my finger while carving a pumpkin - 4 stitches
(I don't even BUY pumpkins any more)
3. cut my finger on the serrated edge of an aluminum foil box - 4 stitches
4. Was sitting cross legged in a car w/ no seat belt, car hit ditch, I flew into windshield - several stitches in face, hairline fracture in jaw, broken foot
5. swam into the side of a pool and broke my nose
6. fell down the stairs sideways (over the stairs, not down them, IOW) calling out to my dog and landed on the basement cement floor - concussion
7. dropped a hammer on my foot while trying to carry too much stuff - broken foot
8. motorcycle accident - they figure I put my leg out trying to break my fall. Several broken leg bones, 3 surgeries, 100+ stitches

Probably several more I can't remember off the top of my head. I am an accident waiting to happen and the MOST uncoordinated human on the planet :( My father cries when he thinks of all the $$$ he spent on ballet lessons.

The best though was my brother. He was holding his breath to get rid of the hiccups. Passed out, split his chin from the outside all the way to inside and chipped a tooth. He was about 9 and is in his 40's now and we still remind him of it :)

I once was using a hatchet and ended up cutting of Juicy's tiny nutsack with an errant blow. He claimed that it was no big deal. I often suspect he wanted me to do it.

http://www.picturehost.com/d/38733-1/Woopsies.jpg

awesome idea :thumbsup

That does sound really painful childhood memory LOL


I managed to have a silly one while being not so much a kid anymore.. Last summer i bought a pair of rollerblades and went to a park all happy "to start mt new exercise program". I should mention it was my first time rollerblading... Anyways, so there was a small downhill i had to come down on and I thought it was a safe idea to just let myself roll and then stop myself at the bottom on the hill by grabbing onto a fence... Yep... I FLEW into that metal fence and cracked my front shin deeply... Spent the rest of the day in ER waiting to be stitched up

anyone wants my one time used blades?? I'll never wear them again :)

I laughed with tears running down my cheeks!!!! LOL omg it's so funny..... sorry for laughing so hard, it must really hurt. So..... how many scars you have now? :)

LOL! That chopped hands disturbed me! :error

And for some reason I've done that in one of my finger... :Oh crap

Such a carelessness act...

OMG !!!!!!! :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I got into a fight with a bong...

the bong won...

I now have a nice 3-4" U shaped scar on my elbow...

I was drunk a couple weeks ago and went to cross the street, walking behind a parked pickup truck... the pickup truck had a canopy with the tailgate up (was at about eye level) and I walked right into it. Now I've got this 4" scar right across my eyebrow :Oh crap

I have been lucky until last year, I missed a 2 foot birdie putt on a really hard hole, I was so fucking pissed I threw the golf ball up in the air and swung my putter like a baseball bat to hit it and the ball hit the very top of the putter and shot off hitting my forehead going about 150mph. My ears were ringing for 20 minutes and I had a huge bump on my head and had 30 people ask me if I had been hit and by whom.

A couple years ago I stubbed my toe on a door as I was walking into the room. It hurt a little, but not too bad. The next morning when I woke up it hurt worse than anything I had ever felt in my life. I went to the doctor, x-rays were negative but I was told I had severe "turf toe" from it (just a fancy word for jam/sprain). I spent the next 2 1/2 months in an orthopedic boot because of that. In my sleep I kept kicking my foot and re-injuring the toe so they actually gave me a sleeping cast that I had to wear to bed.

It was sad, funny and pathetic all at once.

Perfect slices. Amazing!:Oh crap

Perfect slices. Amazing!:Oh crap

None in adulthood but in my childhood i broke my ankle jumping off the swings at school and another time i jumped down some stairs and my foot landed on a garden rake. That one required a good number of stiches.

Oh, lots more than listed there, lol. I'm like Frankenbody :)

When I was a kid I broke my nose on my BMX bike in the most fucked up way possiable.

I tried to pop a wheelie but next thing I know I'm sitting on my butt on the street. I look and see my bike still rolling down the street. The thing is it has no handelbars on it.

So I'm like 'WTF".. I look up just in time to have them come down and hit me in the face breaking my nose. :error:error:error

And no blood either. Just nice clean cuts.:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

When I was really young and stupid, I peed on an electric fence...
I got a two for one injury from it
first injury was the electrocution, the second was a concussion when I passed out and hit my head on a rock on the ground...

I just remembered another famous one...when I was a kid we had a guinea pig that lived in an old fish tank. It was my job to clean it out and it was a particular stubborn job one day and I decided in all my brilliance that I needed to kick it from the bottom to dislodge some stuff. Obviously being glass you can't kick it too hard but I did and my foot went straight through and I ended up at the emergency room with a sliced up foot.

A few years ago I was at work and it was so dead that day, we couldn't wait to mess around once the boss left, but he wouldn't leave. When he finally left, I hauled ass to the back hallway to get some ammo for having a little competition and in my haste, I went to step through the door with my right foot in front, which caught the door as it was swinging open and I ended up taking the corner of the door right in the face.

It knocked me out. I just fell over backwards, laid out all over the floor. Goddamn that hurt.

Ouch to your body and your pride.

I drank alcohol every day for a long time, and got liver damage. That was pretty stupid. :Oh crap

If mental injury counts as well, then it was today, after opened this thread :Oh crap

50 Dumb ass injuries...