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-   -   A Proposal for a Christian Pornography (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=806089)

RAM 02-08-2008 03:04 PM
A Proposal for a Christian Pornography
 
You have to read this to believe it

Click Here Christian Porn

DigitalDruid 02-08-2008 03:09 PM
Thats messed up, I would do it. Huge market them Christians...

J. Falcon 02-08-2008 03:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DigitalDruid (Post 13756320)
Thats messed up, I would do it. Huge market them Christians...
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Jdoughs 02-08-2008 03:13 PM
Wasnt a bad read but..

Fisting and God's Will?

CDSmith 02-08-2008 03:15 PM
Quote:
No profanity. Although exclamations of pleasure are acceptable, as are the natural sounds and vocalizations of lovemaking, Christian porn should contain no profanity or swearing. The participants should address each other lovingly and respectfully at all times. Of course, it goes without saying that the actors will not take the Lord’s name in vain, nor that of his Son.
I can see it now... "Oh God...oh.. wait... oh JESUS... oh SHIT... FUCK!"


What's funny is all the heathen athiests in porn who yell 'oh God' at every thrust. :D

Davy 02-08-2008 04:04 PM
Haha, pretty funny!

just a punk 02-08-2008 04:14 PM
http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u...7139/bible.jpg

D Ghost 02-08-2008 04:17 PM
HAHahahhaha

bronco67 02-08-2008 04:27 PM
they could use this video as general guideline for writing the dialogue

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1076d66664

DigitalDruid 02-08-2008 04:45 PM
Honestly... there would be a minister there on set to verify it was done in the good lords name, and it would be a #1 dvd seller for them.... This would actually work. Like Christian heavy metal...... It sells, It makes no sense but it sells

Miss Munki 02-08-2008 04:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDSmith (Post 13756347)
"Oh God...oh.. wait... oh JESUS... oh SHIT... FUCK!"
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE 02-08-2008 04:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyberxxx (Post 13756523)
That about sums it up.:1orglaugh

Fucken religious wack jobs...
Seriously that warning needs to be placed firmly on every and any spiritual or religious book.

RAM 02-09-2008 01:26 AM
now this is good

“I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.”

This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.

In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: "How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?' (Jeremiah 49:4) And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind: “Draw me after you, let us make haste.” (Song of Solomon, 1:4)

woj 02-09-2008 01:30 AM
interesting read for sure... :thumbsup

tony286 02-09-2008 01:49 AM
crazy shit

Doctor Dre 02-09-2008 02:00 AM
That was the funniest read I've had in a while lol

brandonstills 02-09-2008 02:12 AM
WTF? lol

Quote:
The Benefits of Swallowing - Drink of the Living Water
Aside from swallowing semen as a measure to prevent the waste and spillage of seed, ingesting ejaculate can have spiritual benefits, as we will see. Although the Old Testament makes reference to the bitterness of semen (And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water. [Numbers 5:24]), the New Testament casts the act of consuming ejaculate in a much more affirming light, as in the following passage, where Jesus speaks to the woman of Samaria about the gift of ?living water?:

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." 11 The woman said to him, "Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?...15 The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water." 16 Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come back." (John 4:10-16)

brandonstills 02-09-2008 02:13 AM
This is some funny shit.

Quote:
Before attempting fisting, a Christian husband and wife should pray together and ask for divine guidance. The husband should ask that God guide his hand and work through him, and for the skill and patience to fist his wife correctly and maximize her pleasure. The wife should pray for openness and readiness to receive God’s love and grace in the form of her husband’s hand.

VeriSexy 02-09-2008 04:52 AM
lol.. that is great

Iron Fist 02-09-2008 04:58 AM
One of the complaints against conventional pornography is that it creates unrealistic expectations about sex and warps the viewer?s attitudes towards sexuality and the opposite sex.

Shenanigans!

LiveDose 02-09-2008 06:47 AM
That site will drive the jc freaks nuts....lol

dropped9 02-09-2008 06:54 AM
fistingjesus.com is for sale


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