SINGLE MEN (also WOMEN) - do you feel a social pressure to get married ?
 

like - your family asking you "when you gonna get married?", parents telling "we want grandchildren", and you're seeing more and more of your same-age friends getting married each year and you aren't really planning to do so in the next couple of years?

Actually, this is a question for the folks with the majority of friends from outside the industry, where alternative lifestyles like "let's rent a villa in Rio or in Thailand and throw a gangbang party" aren't even considered. :winkwink:

Hmm actually men have it easier than women.

A man can enjoy the single-live longer and then just find and marry a 10-year old younger woman. Women don't have it that easy...

dude, just tell them you're gay. problem solved :winkwink:

:1orglaugh

Yeah I tell them me and my BF are trying for over a year, every day but he just can't get pregnant. :1orglaugh:Oh crap

what kind of question is that? You became antisocial once you joined this forum, so who cares?

Your parents probably think that you are ghey


But to answer your question no. I don't believe in the institution that is marriage.

you really gay? then you have it easy as well, unless you live in a country where they throw rocks at them

you can't get children so you can spend the whole life buying expensive toys, travelling, partying and getting fucked in the ass. Sounds like fun, (minus the last part).

If they ask me when i'm getting married, i tell them to "fuck off" and mind their own business...

I'm believing less and less in that, but that's because everyone is divorcing nowadays and also, because I've seen many examples of people living happily, totally different than the wife+husband+2 kids model, who we've all been taught is the norm (well, most ppl in educated, middle class families consider a marriage 'till the end of your days' a norm).

In my experience it seems like most women start looking for prospective marriage partners beginning right after highschool (or during). There is a compulsion for them to get hitched while they're in their 20's, so they find the first semi-responsible guy they can and hookup.

For a guy, it's not really an issue.

Grow a pair of balls and tell them to mind their own personal life.

I don't plan on getting married anytime soon. Hopefully in the future though, couple of kids would be nice too.

I feel social pressure to get divorced....does that count?

I feel social pressure to get divorced....does that count?

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Polish, you're hittin' on me or sth? :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I see all my young friends settling down, engaged, marrying, and I laugh because then I look at the older crowd and see how many are divorced, miserable, etc. Then I look at WHY they are divorced, miserable, and 99% of the time its because they didn't have enough life experiences on their own to start with to get a good handle on what THEY wanted before they attached themselves to another person and made it a WE instead of an I sort of life. I don't feel any pressure to marry, actually opposite the more people I see getting married the less I want it because I want to be happy when I marry and not just fucking marry the first girl that'll give me a rimjob.

There's 6 billion people on the planet, gonna take me awhile to find the perfect one!

Nope.

My friends and family ask. Since I am 35. If it's not that question, it's about when I will have kids. But I have come to realize that I am never getting married............. by choice.

I wouldn't mind a life partner, but I have no interest in marriage.

I don´t mind social opinion about this business, so imagine what I think about pressure to get married!!

Nope all is good here :)

There's a lot of pressure to get married...or at least there was when I was younger. I was with the same girl for a long, long time and everyone always asked us when we were going to tie the knot. We both knew the answer was never. I have actually had a couple of friends tell me that they used to feel sorry for me since I wasn't married and didn't always have someone to come home to or to go places with like they did.

Fast forward 10 years and now they are divorced and one has admitted that I am the smartest motherfucker he knows. Any pressure I used to feel is long gone.

I would rather stay single and happy

definitely not. my parents understand that marriage need not to be pressure, it should be well prepare because it's a long time commitment with the person you choose to love and take care of you and to your future children.

I did once, got divorced after a year.

there is pressure from society more i think. but yes, woman have it worse if they want children. there is a cut off time.

These are the main facts that led me to propose marriage to my now-fiancee:

1) I want kids at some point in my life.

2) I want to have kids with my fiancee - the woman that I love - and to give her the pleasure of having children.

3) My fiancee is turning 30 in March, giving her about 7 to 10 more "ideal baby making years" left in her life.

4) IMHO, a "marriage" is the preferable social structure to raise a child inside of.

---

Yes, there are those pressures from her grandmother, and her parents... (thankfully, my siblings have procreated, taking the stress off us from my side of the family)... but I think I would have been a fool to let those pressures affect my decision to marry her... so, to answer your question in a word: "no."

If anything's said said to have "pressured" me, I think it's more my understanding of human biology. I plan to have a year-and-a-half+ engagement, and at least a year of marriage before we start trying to have kids.... doing that with my fiancee leaves us with 5-7 ideal baby-making years when the average female physiology is considered... enough time to have three children.

I'll give you that if it wasn't for timing I might have put off popping the question for another year or two... continuing to enjoy our relationship without the need of including the government... but until we solve for that whole 'infinite mass' debacle, "time" is always a factor, I guess.

The Heron, Barefootsies, Babaganoosh and D - great replies guys

:thumbsup

Get a social life dude...Most if not all posts from you are regarding social life/activities etc...

I remember when I was 17 / 18 / 19 I desperately wanted to have a relationship, then I just somehow stopped to care about it.

I refused to think about these things too much as it's a waste of time.

Yes, of course there is a pressure in the society - trying to persuade you that beeing single is something weird, that you're missing something, you are also easier to manipulate if you are in a couple, it's easier to cash in for them since you are getting conform, once you have kids you are going to be easy to manipulate. All the media are showcasing those shiny happy couples...

Seen too many non functioning relationships where people are with each other only because they have small kids or are too old and too boring to date anyone else - the result is a suffer for both of them.

Seen so many cases where two completely different worlds collided - two different families, two different mindscapes, different backgrounds and the result is - suffer and nervous breakdowns, money issues, scamming..

I actually don't think it's that easy to have a relationship these days, you're no more breeding sheeps and goats, women no more cook and go to the town once a week and you no more fuck in missionary with the light off.

You are in fact meeting many attractive people every day and are able to live on your own very comfortably, moreover you can always find someone for a couple of wild intimate moments to help you kill the hunger for a relationship.

Many of my mates are single, In fact I might be a really tough and complicated cynical jerk and I don't think it's entirely this bad. I learned to accept that as well as the fact there doesn't have to be a partner that you could really LIVE with out there.

That doesn't mean you didn't made your choices, there is a trade off to everything but at the end you are what you are - you have the choice.

I catch shit from my Mom every once in a while, but it's mostly because I'm living with my girlfriend, and that's not the good, honest, god fearing way to live.

So, I continue to live in sin unmarried.

what is perfect

:(:(:(:(

I'm sure we've all gotten ask those types of questions.. I just tell them the divorce rate and they shutup

Not really, we are a very liberal family

people who ask that are living in another dimension. They have the 'school - work - wife - kids' mindframe, like ~97% of all the people. I think the poeple on this board got the 'do as little work as possible, get as much money out of that as possible' mindframe, not caring about what is socially being pushed by the government and the people around you. It comes with a completely different lifestyle. I dont care about marrying and i doubt i ever will.

hehe i have a long way to go until marriage fortunitley

I tell everyone to not get married, and I only have gf's who feel the same way about marriage as I do, which is to never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, get married (or have kids).

I love the fact that polish_aristocrat asks this as if he has some sort of option.

Look motherfucker, no woman in her right mind would marry you so why worry about it?

You will be single and lonely until you die. Just go take your prescribed meds and accept it.

Maybe you'll get real lucky and find a male friend who isn't horrified by the idea of mutual masturbation (with you) so you will at least have another human touching you. That must be better than those hard plastic sex toys you've had relations with over the years. Good luck!

What's your problem? Did polish_aristocrat break your heart or something?

Polish_Aristocrat stood me up one hot August night. I will never forgive that flaming fucker for that!

I caught him out later that same night and he was wearing a mesh tank top and neon orange short shorts dancing like his life depended on it. I saw several other men surrounding him and I vowed to not let his excessive man lust bother me any more. From that day on, I will not let his man on man sessions affect me in any way! I'm so over that unkept slob of a bitch. HEY POLISH - TRY SHAVING YOUR ASS HAIR!

I used to feel that way but not any more.

you mean 5 years max, after 35 her chances will start dropping rapidly

I have "grown a set of balls" metaphorically speaking and it's clear to my family that my personal life is none of their business, if I want them to know I will tell them..........
Yes, I did use the "I'm a lesbian tactic" one Thanksgiving dinner when my grandmother made it a dinner table lecture to me!" My father had to leave the room because he was laughing so hard at the look on my grandmothers face. I suppose that you had to be there but it was classic.