GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - Porno Dan: "We're on Acid"; XXX Jay: "Illinois's a Giant Pile of Suck"

Anyone want to bet on who ends up laughing last XXX Jay or Rude

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Porn Valley- 'Twas the Friday before Christmas and all through the house...five drops of acid were found on her blouse.

In their salute to the holidays, Porno Dan and XXX Jay from OC Cash hosted a KSEX show that will certainly go down in memory, if not the Library of Congress archives. Some industry people described it as watching a train wreck in slow motion.

But other than it being out of control - depending on your sense of humor, company affiliations or point of view - the show was pretty amusing.

So train wreck or not, Dan's co-host Jay wound up being shown the door of the caboose afterwards. Jay had made some remarks- construed as unfriendly fire- about Rude.com which has a business relationship with KSEX. The fact that Jay also chose to make them on the webmaster forum, GFY, in the days following the show, made it a tad worse.

Which is interesting because only a month earlier, Jay seemed to be on the same page of the Rude.com program of love. In early November- their second KSEX show to be exact- Dan announced the new affiliation with Rude.com which started airing KSEX.

"This is the first show that KSEX is on Rude," said Dan. "These are all long time friends of mine, actually. The owner of Rude, "Bukkake" Brett Lamar, my buddy; and Rob who spun off from another cam company that we won't mention right now, and R.J...."

XXXJay cuts in to say that he hadn't been on the site until two days prior.

"That's a fucking pretty bad ass little website there," comments Jay.

Dan notes that Rude's Alexa rating was under 1,000.

"That's very good news- 1.3 million members and 6.7 million page views are the actual numbers I was told from the tech people," Dan adds.

In the meantime, Dan and Jay's KSEX show was moved to the Friday 9pm slot, and the December 21st airing proved to be their unraveling as an on-air team.

Their guest for the evening was Chandie from Rude.com. Chandie says Rude.com [a 565 ranking at the time of the show] has been highly successful considering the fact that they're only been around for only a year.

"That means out of the billions and billions of websites out there, you're the 500th most popular website in the world," Dan comments. "And growing which is amazingly impressive."

"Isn't it true that you guys are growing off all that stolen content like I've been reading on GFY?" Jay then asks her Chandie. He tells her he was just busting her chops.

"It keeps the showing interesting."

Dan, on the show, was supposed to be giving away $20,000 in prize money. But what lent some confusion was the fact that some KSEX listeners were under the impression they were going to be the recipients of the largesse not the Rude.com girls.

Except, in this case, Dan would be giving the money to eight of the Rude.com webcam girls.

Chandie explained that Rude.com was a live, social networking community which combined the best elements of MySpace and YouTube with live cam shows and voyeur cam. Chandie also mentions that she's hardly a MySpace junkie, and Dan announces that Rude.com would soon have a dating site available.

"So I could troll around for girls."

According to Chandie, each of the Rude.com girls did different things from sex to fetishes.

"There's not a requirement."

"If I was in charge of the contest," Dan comments, "and I was giving away twenty grand, they'd be doing some really demented things to earn that twenty grand. We know what porn chicks will do for a thousand, so for twenty thousand, I don't know what they won't do. A girl will do a double anal scene for $1500."

Chandie explained that the Rude.com girls had tons of fans who watched them on voyeur cameras.

"On that note there are eight finalists," added Dan, including one girl, he said, who gets paid for people to watch her smoke cigarettes.

"Personally I think a girl who smokes- take like a 9 and drop her down to a 6; take three points off- I guess I don't have a smoking fetish," Jay interjects. "I have a no-smoking fetish."

Dan said he shoots scenes with girls smoking while giving him blowjobs.

"That's an easy way for your penis to get cancer," Jay observes.

Another of the contestants, noted Dan, was Alana Thomas, a girl apparently gifted with remarkable areolas.

Dan goes on to tell a story about how he and Jay were at the Playboy Mansion for the second time in two months.

"I remember half that night," observes Jay wryly.

"I woke up on Jay's floor about seven in the evening, not really sure how I got there," adds Dan.

Jay also talked about how some porn people had rented his house for a location and weren't very happy about the condition of the property.

"They stopped renting the place after the second day because they said I wasn't professional enough," Jay laughs. "I've hit a new low- too unprofessional for porn people."

Dan said he was only there the first day when they started burning Jay's house down.

"They almost did burn my house down," Jay agrees. "They left my pool up to 105 [degrees] and I didn't know it. My whole backyard was on fire because of the smoke. They were trying to throw the bitches in the pool."

Jay couldn't remember how he and Dan got from Playboy to his house.

"We took a cab," Dan reminded him.

Using numbered bingo chips in a cage, Dan tried to explain how the prizes would be given out, only the translation of how that was supposed to be done got lost. Chandie wasn't sure what he was trying to do. In any event, Jay joked about the prize money going a long way to subsidize his Jager habit.

Dan mentions that twice recently he was out to bars with girls who wanted to take advantage of Jay on his Jager kicks. Chandie told a story about being at a bar with Jay in Huntington Beach when "an Indian gentleman" walked in.

"Jay walked over and said, 'how,'- I almost crawled under the table. By the end of the night the guy was doing shots with everybody."

Jay then started pacing the studio and walking in front of the cameras like an overanxious school kid in search of his Ritalin.

Dan wanted to interview some of the Rude.com girls but wasn't sure if there was a phone available for doing that.

"I don't feel as much love sometimes here as I feel in other environments," Dan commented. "Like prison camp. I know I felt more love in prison before. A lot more. Jay and I were much more welcome in prison because we were virile men at the time."

Jay brushed off Dan's statement as one of his "homoerotic dreams".

Dan then got one of the contestants, BJ Mature, on the line. She said those were her initials and the "mature" was self-evident.

"I thought it was for giving blowjobs like Jay and I had to learn to give quickly in prison," Dan replied.

"How did this show go awry with your nonsense?" asks Chandie, laughing, as Dan begins talking about celebrating the seasonal feast of Saturnalia and his being a pagan.

Unlike what her initials suggest, BJ said she didn't give them, that she was a solo act and sometimes plays in chocolate pudding with a girlfriend. Asked how she would spend the top prize of $12,000, BJ said she'd share it with people who have helped her along the way.

"I'm a tech dummy- I wouldn't have been able to complete the contest," she said. "I owe a lot of people big time."

BJ explained how she had cams on 24/7 and takes a shower every morning on cam.

"I'm not a whole lot of fun because I'm not married or have a live-in boyfriend," she adds. "People that join my live house know that and they put up with me. I live in Florida and I'm usually naked."

BJ insisted she wouldn't have sex with guys on camera.

"That's the way I chose to have my life," she says. "I just don't want to do something that later I might regret."

"How do you feel about asparagus?" Jay then asks her. BJ is going, what the?

"Apparently the party police are lecturing me..." Dan tells BJ, trying to tone it down, assigning her a number.

Another contestant, Trinity, says she's known for being a squirter. Dan said he was a big fan of squirters.

"Even if they can't squirt, they pee after knowing me," Dan tells her.

Trinity, who's now living in Illinois, said she'd pay off her credit cards if she won the top prize and move back to California where she's from.

"Illinois's a giant pile of suck," Jay told her. Trinity seemed to agree.
Kylie King who walked into the studio to hang out told Dan she does dirty things for money.

"Do you do double-anal?" he asks her.

"No," replies King. Jay told her if she won some money she could get "proper titties".

Then as the turning of the wheel grew more arduous, and the numbers selection process evidently more cumbersome for Dan, Chandie asked, "What's wrong with you guys?"

"We're on acid - five blotter hits right now," Dan tells her. With his eyeballs working independently of one another, it was hard to tell if Dan was kidding or not.

Dan, who began switching the rules of the contest around to make it simpler but growing more complicated in their explanation, asked King if she'd do an anal gangbang for 12 G's. It didn't seem like she was enthusiastic about the idea, either.