Have you met your extended family?
 

I'm talking about far extended family like your grandma/s brothers or sisters and their families, or grandparents cousins and all their families etc

Also, would you, if you had the chance? Or would you rather not deal with it?

Possibly. If I did then I didn't know I was.

:upsidedownope

No, and I can live without meeting them.

I did, wish I hadn't.

i have, why would you want want to know your own family?

are u being sarcastic?

It's far far family though, not close or immediate. like grandmothers brothers and sisters and all their 100 kids...

and would you meet them if you had to?

Met a bunch, of course I want to know them they are my blood.

I guess that means you don't have to be forced. You would do it out of your own free will.

Yes I have and it was by my own doing. I organized a large family reunion to see how many I could get to attend. I was amazed to see the diversity and contacts I made within my own family.

Met most of my family after a long time, and I am very proud of them. Even have to visit them more often because I truly enjoyed my time.

Mine is not of my own doing. I never met mine, but my dad is visiting me from overseas and wants me to meet them and I don't really want to. I don't feel like I really have to "listen" to my dad because I am independent, I supported myself since 18. Also, I don't think my dad financially supported me after the age of 12 when I moved to the U.S

I don't feel like I "have" to go see my extended family. You know what I mean. I am used to being independent and doing whatever I want. Am I supposed to want to meet my extended family? Is it strange that I don't want to?

sometimes being an adult means doing something your really not excited about but it makes an old man happy. Its thinking about someone other than ones self.

I don't feel like my dad can tell me what to do. He's not strict or traditional at all, I basically can do whatever the fuck I want. He just wants me to meet the extended family. That's it. Other than that he doesn't tell me what to do, I can do whatever the hell I want. Is that too much to ask or is it not a big deal? Should I do it even though I have always supported myself etc I don't feel like I owe anyone anything. My dad is not deadbeat or anything, he saw me all the time when I was a kid but after the age of 12 only my mother supported me. Do I still have to listen and meet my extended family?

What does your therapist say?

I don't have one.... you can pretend to be my therapist tho... So you think I should go? Apparently I have hundreds of extended family members on my dad's side around where I live, I just never met them.

You think my dad can ask me to go even though he didn't raise/pay child support for me after I was 12?

He wants me to meet them cause they all know he has a child, (technically I'm not a child anymore, u know what I mean) but they never met me and are always asking about me, if I don't go they'll wonder why, or what's wrong with me since my dad will be going to this function and they know he is staying with me.

if you really dont want to do it, tell him no now to save pain later. You seem to have anger issues to him that he didnt pay the bills so why bother seeing him?

I don't have anger issues. I have a decent relationship with him, I get along with him better than my mother.

I told him I didn't want to go and he told me he doesn't like family either because seeing them too much is a hassle, etc but that I should be able to go at least once and that it's just a social thing and no big deal.

Do you think it's a big deal to have to meet extended family or not really?

I dont but Im not you. So do what feels good to you. :winkwink:

I don't know. I just felt like usually you HAVE to listen to your parents only when you live with them under their roof. I have been living alone for like 10 years now. I'm an adult. When I was younger my mom also used to "force" me to go to family functions but now that I'm an adult I feel like "no one can tell me what to do". You know what I mean?

My dad doesn't try and tell me to at all though to be honest. I can do whatever I want. Only this family thing, I guess it's important to him I meet them. Do you think he's asking for a lot or not really?

As I said before being an adult sometimes mean not only thinking about yourself. You make an old man happy is that so bad?

No, but I have an aversion to family functions... It will be weird because I never met them before. I went for almost 30 years fine without knowing who they were. And it's not close family, but really far family, like my grandparents brothers and sisters' sons and daughters and all their families. And my grandparents cousins' families etc.

they are just people

Family is important to me. It would be nice to have a link to your roots even if you might not think so right now. Some day you might have kids of your own. It would be nice to be able to tell them about the family history.
People make mistakes, it's human. I prefer to forgive and move on.

So you wouldn't be anxious to meet extended family? You would just go do it like it's no big deal?

Very well said :thumbsup

I already read that topic about "so what do you do" about tips about what to say u do such as "internet marketing" etc or "mainstream marketing and google adwords etc", it's just that I get nervous when bending the truth, I feel like people can see right through me and I get shaky when being asked about what I do, etc.

Sure, if I was in your shoes I would feel anxious and awkward, but remember they will be very accepting of you. You are blood, you are family! They want to meet you. Once you get there and break the ice you will start to feel comfortable, enjoy your family.

i bet you will have a great time.

Also, other people who haven't responded yet, do you think it's a big deal to meet your extended family or not? Would you do it? Do you think it's a big deal to ask this of someone, or not really?

Would you think it's a big think for someone to ask you to meet your extended family, like a big favor for you to do? Or do you want to meet your family for yourself so you don't care and don't think of it as a favor to do at all?

So, if your old parents asked you to meet your extended family as a favor would you do it?

I know I started this thread yesterday but I didn't get enough responses. As you can see I'm a bit neurotic. Only a bit though....

i met them here.
lots of clones is all. very wierd.
http://www.warezquality.com/signup.html

i really dont give a fuck.

Don't give a fuck TO meet them? Or don't give a fuck IF you had to meet them?

both.... i never even thought about it til this thread... who the fuck cares what your granpa's cousin does??? i just dont get the interest. I really really dont give a damn.

I don't give a damn either! Grandpa's cousin is probably just as old as he is and had tons and tons of kids and their kids had kids we're all somehow related.

It's just my dad flew half way across the world to visit me and I guess he wants me to meet my extended family.

well if your dad flew across the world for that shit its a different story. That means he does find it somehow important... but my dad for example would never hook up with that kinda 'far' family. However i always enjoy family gatherings with close family i havent seen in a few years.... it always seems we all got the same humor, the few times we happen to meet up i always laugh my ass off.... i kinda love my family for that... even funerals are funny with all my nephews, and i got a lot of them. Always bullshitting with them, i love it

No, he didn't fly half across the world for that but he came to see me, like for a week and a half. But on one of those days he wants me to meet the extended family because they are having some kind of family function, but it will only be for that day for an hour or two I guess. He didn't fly here to see the family it was only to spend time with me. But I guess the family is always having gatherings and crap and one happens to be while he's here too.

I guess it would be weird if he goes but I don't since he's staying with me? And the whole family knows about me, they know he had a kid, they just never met me (once in 30 years), they just know I exist.

what they think doesnt matter... if you feel good to meet them just go and meet them... if you dont, then dont go... but its always good to make new contacts... especially when its kind of a freely meeting, with open bars etc. that always loosens everyone up. Ive always felt good about family gatherings because like i said we're all kinda on the same level.. I think when i didnt have school or alot of friends i hang out with id definalty go... always in for suprsises, be open minded and just bullshit around with them, but i dont know if your fam is uptight or is kinda free thinking like my family is.. it all depends

It was a sobering experience ......

I think a lot of it is old people. Like 50 plus, maybe even lots of really old folks, like grandma'ish age wise.

It's not at a bar. It's at a memorial thing. Not a funeral of someone who died but a memorial of someone who died a long time ago in the family. I have no idea of who. It's just something old people like to do.

I bet they will be nice but more like uptight.

To other people who haven't responded yet, if your old parents asked you to meet your extended family would you? Would you feel like you were doing them a huge favor or is it nothing like no big deal really?

Your parents are proud of you, why else would they want to introduce you? Play along, behave, your parents will owe you one :2 cents:

I don't think it's mainly that, I think it's more cause I have never met them before... Also, it's not my "parents". It's my dad who wants me to meet HIS side of the family. I already was forced to meet my mothers side of the family when I was younger.

When I was younger I was forced to go to family functions and now I'm older I guess I'm still being forced. I guess some things never change.

If you were a mouth breathing, booger eating, moron would your father want to introduce you? Course not, he's proud of you dude :thumbsup

Probably he would too even if I was a moron. It's weird if the whole family knows he had an offspring but never met them, they would be wondering forever...

Isn't it really stressful to meet your family? And they aren't even close family btw... Plus of course they all will be asking "what do you do" etc and I already have good ideas of what to say "internet advertising" or "seo" or whatever bullshit. It's just that I get nervous and anxious when I lie. I feel like they can tell and I get butterflies. Obviously you can understand I have to bend the truth if the folks are like 60 years old, or even 70 etc....

Yes almost on a yearly basis, the most I have seen of m extended family was at my grandmother funeral, my grand mother had 15 children, 6 aunts and 13 uncles,

whoever could attend was there, and the house ain't that big. There was pictures on my facebook of the event all the blood related families were wearing white or cream at the funeral, it was just a giant sea of white and cream.