GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - No, but I'll Tell a Story "Twas the night before Christmas"

Twas the night before Christmas, when down at Amp?s place
I dreamed a coed was sitting, planted right on my face.
And the Grey Goose was placed by the chimney, with care.
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
I dreamed that the hookers were all snug in their beds,
While visions of eight balls danced in their heads.
But in fact, the old lady had just hit the sack,
And I had just settled down to take a long crap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I was sure I was busted, and jumped off the crapper.
Away to the window I crept naked in fear,
And peeked through the curtain, wondering what would appear..

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Looked too much like search lights, (paranoia, I know).
And what did my startling eyes come to see
But the world?s shortest pimp looking straight up at me.

With a little old player, so lively and quick,
With a load full of bitches lookin? hard for a trick.
More rapid than eagles his bitches then came,
They moaned, and they squirted, and he called them by name!

"Hey Bitch! Get on down here! And you Hoes watch my threads!
And I?ll kill the first woman that touches my dreads!
Move your butts quickly now, this ain?t no mall
No snail tracks! Get mov?n! Get on with y?all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
As quick as a hooker will show you her pie.
So up to the front stairs, and inside they flew,
With a sack full of dildos, and the little pimp too!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard up the stairs
My old lady was stirring - Shit! This isn?t fair!
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
I could hear her start bitching, "Amp! Come to bed now!"

"Yes Dear" I mumbled as I turned back around
To see that the girls, were stripping on down
The first, about twenty, had no underwear
Flat stomach, great nipples, and no body hair.

The second was Asian, with black hair that flowed
Past the nape of her neck, to the cleavage below.
And the third was a redhead, her tits were so large
And she threw me a look that said "Amp, come take charge!".

I marveled and wondered at the pimp?s other five,
All just as fine - Damn, my dick was alive!
The first girl came over, still wearing her her heels
And with the world?s sweetest look she proceeded to kneel.

I knew in a moment it would be more than good
And gently at first, she began licking my wood.
Next the Asian came over, and with a mischievous leer
She started fingering the first one from the front, then the rear.

One by one they joined in, each one doing their part
Til my dick got so hard, it was right off the chart!
Soon, the redhead, spread-eagled, asked me to come here
And soon I came buckets, buried deep in her rear.

Through the night it went on, I know not for how long
Each girl taking turns resurrecting my dong.
Until I was so finished, so sore and so spent
For the first time I wondered, from where they?d been sent.

So I turned to the pygmy who?d appeared on my grass
Who had brought me the best - the finest of ass
I looked at him straight, and said "I ain?t no pup".
I know this shit ain?t free, so tell me, wussup"?

He was dressed up real fine, from his head to his toe,
Looked like he?d been shopping at R-Pimps-2-Go.
Not to insult him, or be giving him flak,
I said "You look like a pimp", which he was in fact.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his grin was so merry!
He looked like just been out poppin a cherry!
A little glass pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the crack smoke encircled his head like a wreath.

I wondered "Why me?", thought maybe this was a sting
But he just stood there grinning, and said not a thing.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He finally spoke, and said "Amp, you?ve been good.
This is just a small gift from the boys in the hood.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He snorted a line, and then gathered his Hoes.

Then they flew out the door, the same way they came
Leaving only sweet memories here to remain
And I heard my old lady, now loud in my ear
"Hey motherfucker, I said to come here!"

"Just give me a minute" is all that I said
I was horny again, not ready for bed.
The thought of those women who gave it their best
Was haunting my dick, I could give it no rest.

"I?ll be upstairs soon" I heard myself shout
As I sat at my laptop and whipped it right out
Now I?m off to stroke it, at Amp?s own web site
So "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Merry Christmas To All From AmpLand