Why women must learn to say yes in the bedroom
 

In my work as a life coach, agony aunt and psychologist, I regularly encounter women in their late 20s, 30s and 40s - the inheritors of the feminist revolution - with bitter regrets over relationships that have failed on one pivotal issue: the issue of sexual compromise.

And professionals such as myself are being forced to realise that feminism, with all the wonderful things it did for women, went too far with the "I will only do as I please" attitude to sex it engendered.

It has produced a generation of women who simply refuse to compromise over sexual matters with their partners. As a result, they have ruined their relationships.

Jennifer, 38, the director of a marketing company in fashion, is an excellent case in point. She arrived at a life-coaching session I was giving, seeking to improve communication skills with her increasing number of staff.

She's a woman who appears to have it all. No man bosses her around because she's her own boss. She earns a six-figure salary, has the luxury-holidays lifestyle along with a supportive and close-knit group of equally successful female friends. But did she also have a happy marriage?

I thought my meeting with her would be a straightforward session about management and communication, but my instincts quickly told me - when she "inadvertently" admitted that her husband had had an affair - that more important things were on Jennifer's mind.

She confessed that during the three years before he had strayed, they'd had virtually no sex - on average once every six months. Because she had thrown herself into establishing her company, Jennifer had been working terribly hard and had shown little interest in sex.

This led to arguments, she told me, during which her husband, a property developer, protested strongly that it left him feeling cold-shouldered. It never occurred to Jennifer - or the countless other women I have dealt with on this exact same issue - that eventually he'd look elsewhere.

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REALLLLLY good article, i read the entire thing, i think all women should read this.

i have found this a few time in my longterm realationships where it starts to be more about "me" then being a team.

sex goes with everything else in a realationship, when all things are truly well the sex is great and as soon as that starts to fall off it is pretty clear their are problems.

i have moved on from many women because they are to involved in themselves and not the team aspect of a realtionship. i think i have finally found someone who is constantly willing to work and make sacrifices for the betterment of the realtionship, as am i, its to early to tell but we will see where things take us.

women sometimes you need to look at yourself when your man strays, i am 100% against cheating but realtionships are supposed to be 50/50 and when they fail the reasons are just that 50/50.

I love you.

My wife needs to read this NOW.

I feel sex should not be looked at as a reward, but as a right. I think it's a perk to being in a relationship and should be expected. Never understood women that withheld that part of intimacy from their partner. Never ends good. :2 cents:

a-fucking-men

Well said :thumbsup:thumbsup

Damn straight man, if the chick is not into it , I aint into her

That's a sure sign of other issues in my eyes...I can remember more than once being pissed off at my sig. other but still doin' it. Still attracted, still want sex from him, just mad as hell. I think that's much more healthy than withholding something as sweet as sex on top of the issue at hand. I tell my friends that what they won't do with their partner, there is someone out there that would love to do it for you! :winkwink:

Sadly I have seen this far to often. Women use sex or don't use it either to manipulate their way or merely to neglect the husband/partner thinking only of themselves. Men need ego and warm fuzzies too - take that away and they will gravitate towards either another woman who will show them that they are important or simply say fuck it to the relationship.

Very difficult when a man feels scorned or useless especially to someone he finds attractive.

I have to say I am the luckiest man on earth.... married 14 years, I am an erotic photographer, I run an adult website, my wife is an executive in the "real world"... busts her ass, makes an amazing salary... puts in her 16 hour days at times... and she still loves sex... she still enjoys the whole thing.. her career, our kids, our relationship, and being the dirty little naughty minx when the time calls for it.

We definitely had our bad times... and I can relate to the article and being stressed over the relationship... but thankfully out of the 14 years... those times have been beyond minimal. You can't have a relationship where only one of the parties wants to contribute and be part of it; I experienced that first hand with my parents... they divorced after 25 years of marriage... I hope I/we never get to that point.

I love my life... I love my wife... Whatever I did to attract her and keep her interested was the best and luckiest day of my life.

goodluck buddy! hahaaha

i like the way you think :winkwink: