Are you a toiletpaper over user ?
 

I've been told that I'm a toilet Paper over user ... but what's the correct or proper amount of toilet paper to use? 6 squares or more? how much is really needed to feel clean and fresh ?

My preferred measuring device is my hand .. I like to go with a three hand wrap length .. that would be twisting the TP around the width of your hand ... Mmm .. that would make it about 30 inches long .. too much ?

http://www.shitbegone.com/catalog/im...recy-front.jpg

I searched the web for the right answer .. or at the very least an understanding of proper tp usage. I was so young when I started wiping my own ass that I don't remember the rules set by my parents .. as far as I was concerned ... use enough toilet paper so that you don't leave skid marks behind.

Even the All knowning Official Tiolet authority website didn't have the answers. www.icbe.org ( International Center for Bathroom Etiquette)

MAybe this is the steam of all humanities problems .. Without Proper ass wiping standards how can we live in a world without wars

as long as you don't have no skid marks left behind, and it flushes you are all good!

My girlfriend uses 25% of the roll each time she goes. We go thru toilet paper like it's going out of style.

I use as much as I want, I like my bum clean, and when you have a hairy bum its hard to do that lmfao

When I am forced to use regualr run of the mill TP I completely overuse. I completely mummify my hand and am always worried about clogging the toilet so I tend to flush after a few wipes, only to continue wiping until all fecal residue is gone.

When I am at home I use baby wipes. Nothing fancy or expensive, just cheap baby wipe refills. It takes less and leaves you feeling squeaky clean until the next showering opportunity.

If you try it, you will not be disappointed.

i am a bad overuser - i wouldn't call it overuser though, i rarely have one of those beauties that just slip out and sink like a battleship to the bottom of the bowl so I usually have some clean up work to do and I don't stop until my butt is clean.

being a pornographer .. I've focused my Baby wipe usage to keeping my under carrage smellin oh so fresh .. Just common balls to nose courtesy

Sheryl Crow takes a swipe at toilet paper use .. as reported by the CBC (canadian broadcasting corporation)

In an effort to help save the environment, U.S. singer Sheryl Crow is calling on everyone to limit the amount of toilet paper used "in any one sitting" to one square.

Crow made the suggestion in her blog chronicling her recent tour of the United States on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.

I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating," she writes.

im a really big overuser....dingleberries consume the fuck out of some TP

I'd rather overuse than have a shitty hand.

I babywipe after I TP too

I am a normal user but If it's a big shit I might hope in the shower right after to make sure my ass is clean as a whistle

This thread is funny. I buy it so I if I wanna use a whole roll for one bathroom trip; then I will. LOL

Define a big shit that needs a shower for clean up ... And Here's my question ... doesn't the shit run down your leg when you get in the shower ..

I've gone shower after a soft shit ... I call it a soft shit rather then a big shit .. it's usually when you get slash back, But I make sure that I'm well wiped so that I don't get shit run offs on my legs

you could call me a conservationist in this sense, I use one square, both sides.

She must have a real shitty ass... :1orglaugh

:winkwink:

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

The first wipe is the most important. Especially if you just had mexican food.
It determines how much to use on subsequent wipes.

I take a shit twice a month. Saves me lots of money.

i use as much as it takes, if that means i have to buy more than so be it.

How is that possible .. I call BULLSHIT to this post ...

One Square ? both sides .. dude the first wipe is always the heaviest ... If your able to use just one square on both sides ..that would mean your butt cheeks are at least an inch apart or more ... your butt hole would have to have a big Diameter as to not get too many deposits ... and how do you use the other side of the square without getting shit all over your hand .. the square would be too small to fold over ... and even the best two ply would break with such a heavy load on the first wipe

cough cough bullshit cough cough

i use hella of em

never said I did a good job at it, just that I'm cheap :1orglaugh

I actually try to time my shits right before I have to shower, so I don't use toilet paper at all

Oh so thats what was left on the soap..

OMG Vid, thanks for sending me this thread! This is the funniest fucking "shit" I've seen in days. I needed a good, hard laugh right about now :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh and not stray off topic...... I put a new roll of tp in my daughter's bathroom every 2 days and she is at school all day. She is the only one that uses her bathroom. I have asked her about it because it amazes me and makes me worry about the plumbing at the same time. She says that she has to use alot so that no germs or wetness come anywhere near her hand.

Damn I am so happy that some smart ass invented the bidet. The most intelligent thing ever. I would be dead without my bidet.
http://www.vital-instal.ro/images/sc...0000001293.jpg
http://www.westernsnowconference.org...idetOfBeer.JPG

there has to be a good toilet paper authority on the web .. for just such a problem ....

After listening to Howard Stern talk about baby wipes, I had to give it a shot. Damn, my paper consumption has declined big time. Now I do my part to save the trees and have a clean ass too.

You need to conserve shit tickets. Anything more than 8 squares is waste.

And frankly if you're shitting in a work/public washroom you're better off using less. That stuff is rougher than wiping with a pine cone.

how to conserve Toilet Paper


Step One
Eat less food. You won't be visiting the potty as much if you have an empty stomach. You might lose a few pounds too.

Step Two
Develop toilet paper rules in your household. These should include strict conservation requirements such as two sheets per person per visit.

Step Three
Buy two-ply toilet paper and separate it into two rolls. You get two rolls for the price of one and will double its use.

Step Four
Drip dry or use the old-fashioned way of wiping. Use a washcloth and wash it after use.

who invented toilet paper ?

History

Wooden toilet paper from the Nara period (710 to 784) in Japan. The modern rolls in the background are for size comparisonRecords of human usage of toilet paper first appeared in China, during the 14th century.

The classic 16th century satirical novel Gargantua and Pantagruel by François Rabelais contains references to various toilet paper alternatives. For example, in the 13th chapter of the First Book, titled "How Grandgousier realized Gargantua's marvelous intelligence, by his invention of an Arse-wipe," the giant Gargantua, while still a child, tries dozens of different methods for wiping his bottom, including paper, but unfortunately he finds it "leaves some chips on his ballocks". Finally he discovers the best method:

But to conclude, I say and maintain that there is no arse-wiper like a well-downed goose, if you hold her neck between your legs. You must take my word for it, you really must. You get a miraculous sensation in your arse-hole, both from the softness of the down and from the temperate heat of the goose herself; and this is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the intestines, from which it reaches the heart and the brain.

The first factory-made paper marketed exclusively for toilet use was produced by Joseph Gayetty in the United States in 1857. Gayetty's name was printed on every sheet.

Before this invention, wealthy people used wool, lace or hemp for their ablutions, while less wealthy people used their hand when defecating into rivers, or cleaned themselves with various materials such as rags, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize husks, fruit skins, or seashells, and cobb of the corn depending upon the country and weather conditions or social customs. In Ancient Rome, a sponge on a stick was commonly used, and, after usage, placed back in a bucket of saltwater.

In some parts of the world, the use of newspaper, or telephone directory pages, was common. Old Farmer's Almanac was sold with a hole punched in the corner so it could be hung on a nail in an outhouse. The widely-distributed Sears catalogue was also a popular choice until it began to be printed on glossy paper (at which point, some people wrote to the company to complain). In Hervé Bazin's book, "Viper in the Fist", a Catholic family uses pages of the Catholic newspaper, La Croix (after tearing off the cross of Calvary). In modern flush toilets, using newspaper as toilet paper is liable to cause blockages.

In monarchical Russia, a subordinate stamped the toilet paper with imperial arms for the use of the Tsar. In the court of Henry VIII of England, the Groom of the Stool was given the job of cleaning the royal posterior with his hand. The Groom of the Stool was both a highly respected and coveted position. For security reasons, only a highly trusted courtier would be chosen and it was coveted because of the influence he might have with the king, daily having the opportunity to be alone with His Majesty.

Using water to clean oneself, in lieu of toilet paper, is common in India and Muslim countries, where people use their left hand to clean themselves and their right hand for eating or greeting (In parts of Africa, though, the converse is true, and a right-handed handshake could be considered rude). The use of water in Muslim countries is due in part to Muslim sharia which encourages washing after defecation. The lack of availability of paper in the Mideast and North Africa during the early period of Islamic history probably promoted this regime out of necessity. Toilet paper is not as rare today in these households, but in many countries, a hose with a water sprayer (called a "health faucet") or a pail of water is found instead.

Some people will just compromise and use toilet paper dipped in water to clean themselves. There have been attempts to market wet swipes as toilet paper, but the market was not big enough.


___________________
Timeline

A print by William Hogarth entitled A Just View of the British Stage from 1724 depicting Robert Wilks, Colley Cibber, and Barton Booth rehearsing a pantomime play with puppets enacting a prison break down a privy. The "play" is comprised of nothing but special effects, and the scripts for Hamlet, inter al., are toilet paper.14th century: toilet paper first produced in China (for the Emperor's use)
1596: invention of the flushing toilet by Sir John Harington
1700s: newspaper is a popular choice of toilet paper since it is widely available
1710s: bidet invented
1857: Joseph Gayetty sells first factory-made toilet paper in the USA
1879: Scott Paper Company sells the first toilet paper on a roll, although initially they do not print their company name on the packaging
late 19th century: rolls of perforated toilet paper available for the first time, replaces razor or knife on dispensers
1890s: Sears catalogue first becomes available, commonly used in rural America
1900: plumbing improvements of the Victorian era have led to wide use of flushing toilet and (in Europe) the bidet
1930s: Sears starts publishing its catalogue on less absorbent glossy paper
1935: Northern Tissue advertises its toilet paper as "splinter-free"
1942: first two-ply toilet paper, St. Andrew's Paper Mill in England, toilet paper becomes softer and more pliable
1943: novelty toilet paper printed with images of Hitler
1973 December 19: comedian Johnny Carson causes a three week toilet paper shortage in the USA after a joke scares consumers into stockpiling supplies
1980: the paperless toilet invented in Japan (combination toilet, bidet and drying element, see Japanese toilet)
1990-1991: Gulf War, American troops camouflage tanks with toilet paper
1990s: tissues containing ingredients like aloe begin to be heavily marketed in the USA
1990s: in the United Kingdom, Andrex sells the first moist toilet tissues (compare wet wipes or baby wipes)
Early 2000s: In the wake of the September 11th Attacks, novelty toilet papers in the USA started getting printed with images of Osama Bin Laden.
2005: Portuguese Renova launched the first Black Toilet Paper.
Today in some Muslim countries, toilet paper with added "wet strength" (chemicals to keep it from dissolving in water too quickly) is beginning to be accepted for drying (rather than cleaning, as is common in Western countries).

2006: Frenchtoiletpaper.com launches a unique line of colored toilet paper

It's all about baby wips:thumbsup

my ass is itchin

tell her to shit more then once a month :2 cents:

Your ass can never be too clean.

I use as much as it takes to clean my ass... until the paper is white

Lol..what a lame topic to talk about ..I take as much as I need to keep clean..who counts the squares they use?

I only use 2 squares, folded over, for each wipe.

My gf, on the other hand, uses about 5 times more TP just to dry up a couple drops of piss, then I use to wipe shit from my ass.

That's cruel. :2 cents:

I've had to use a whole double roll of 2 ply on many occaisons. :1orglaugh

You ever have the diareah shits so fucking bad from something you ate that you have a wet watery brown explosion blast into the bowl so fucking hard that it splashes back up at your friggen butt cheeks, so you end up using a shitload of toilet paper & finally when you think you're done & start to pull up your pants then a friggen blast of shit squirts out your ass again..

I fucking hate that. :1orglaugh

I only over use toilet paper when I have had a wank..got to clean the mess up properly before my misses finds it

This is the sort of stuff goatse doesn't have to worry about.

He probably hasn't bought toilet paper in years.

I am always amazed at people that go to the bathroom and it takes like 45 minutes to an hour to finish their business. I am a complete speed shitter, in and out in 30 seconds. Over usage of toilet paper? not an issue either.

However my downfalls include, always needing to shit before swimming, entering librarys/bookstores or strip clubs (not matter how dirty or nasty, i have shat there)

I never figured that out either..does their crap inch out a millimeter at a time? I'm out as fast as I can crap it out..who wants to wallow in their own stink..

Its good to see our national taxpayer-funded CBC reporting on the vital issues of the day to the Canadian public. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Use wet wipes

You are lucky you do not own a large Filipino outsourcing company.

You would supply it free at first until you learn that it is actually much cheaper to hire a "toilet paper security guard", aka Mr. Charminreyes, to "issue and log" toilet paper on an as needed basis.

I use way to much.. now that I read it I'll try the per square wipe method.

I use TP to get the big stuff, then use the moist wipes to finish the job up.

Way too much info .. LOL

I can't leave my house in the morning without takin my morning dumb.. LOL .. It's happened maybe a dozen times that I didn't take a dump before leaving for work .. The odd thing is .. I never need to dump first thing in the morning on weekends or holidays ... Funny how that works