Tuesdays Joke
 

This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, ''What are you carrying?''

''Melons,'' the blonde replies.

''Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?''

The blonde giggles and says, ''If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.''

:1orglaugh

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

Classic :thumbsup

ROFL!!! :) both good ones!

The Long and Short of It

One morning a man tells a coworker that her hair smells nice. The woman gets enraged, storms into her supervisor’s office, and declares she’s filing a sexual harassment suit.

“Come on,” says the supervisor. “What’s wrong with a guy telling you your hair smells nice?”

“He’s a fucking midget!”

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I love blondes

Three irishmen go out to their favorite pub and proceed to get completely pissed. The next night they return to their favorite watering hole and decide to see who was the drunkest the night before.

The first irishman says believe me fellows I was the drunkest. As soon as I walked in my door I blew chunks.

The second irishman says that's nothing, when I got home I stumbled into the house knocked over half the furniture and passed out on the living room floor.

The third irishman says I was by far the drunkest. I wrapped my car around a tree last night and spent the night in jail.

At this point the first irishman pipes up again. Look guys, I don't think you understand, chunks is my dog.

Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.

One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put it into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied
and touted as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer could have cared less, and knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King -- shooed
him away with no payment made.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...

MORAL OF THE STORY ....
Pay your bills.

Ha. those were good ones. Makes a Tuesday a little better



Today IS tuesday right?

:1orglaugh:thumbsup

Lol, I liked the midget one...

lol.. good shit

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

hahahhahaha

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

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A blonde went into a worldwide message center to send a message to
her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "But I don't have that much money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a
Message to my mother." The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect). "Anything?" he asked. "Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
'Well, then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the
next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in and close the door" the man said. She did. He then said, "Now get on your knees." She did. "Now take down my zipper." She did. "Now go ahead ... Take it out ...," he said. She reached in and grabbed it with both hands ... Then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well ... Go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it
close to her lips, tentatively said...........

"Hello, Mom, can you hear me?"

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh funny stuff!

:1orglaugh

i love the second one that gave me a chuckle. :)

hahahahahahahaha, lol

veRY funnie ") lol

Great smiles on a Tuesday

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

That had me lol... nice one

Like the jokes guys

very funny thank you.

:1orglaugh

someone loves viggo just like i do :)

Ok now that one is good :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

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