I will verbally asault the person of your choosing for $2500
 

Yes that is correct. For $2500 dollars I will verbally abuse someone you dislike for at least 10 minutes. Since a good ass kicking is worth $5000 around here I think a nice verbal assault should go for $2500. I'm also willing to negotiate a deal.

I accept epass and paypal.

thank you for your time. I look forward to speaking with you.