| lazycash |
10-23-2007 12:58 PM |
Its really simple, just follow this easy "how to" guide:
Lesson #1
Be born flexible. I don't have any science to back this up, but it seems to me that some of us are just born more flexible than is usual. I didn't have to put any special effort into sucking my dick when I started; I leaned over and stuck it it in my mouth, and it was good. If this was something that any man could do, you wouldn't be able to walk down the street without tripping over all of the guys sucking themselves off.
Lesson #2
Try it anyway! Even if you weren't born with the flexi-spine there is no excuse for you not to at least give it a try. The desire to suck our own cocks is the one thing that ties men of all sexual orientations together: it is something we can bond with our brothers about and, if we would all just relax and let go of our inhibitions, it is a far healthier pursuit than building weapons, staging hostile takeovers, or being a politician. Do it because it's fun; do it because it helps you to experience your body in new and interesting ways; and do it because every man should taste cum at least once in his life.
Lesson #3
Be careful! Sexual desire and sexual excitement have a way of over-riding our physical sense of pain, and our ability to think clearly. If you've only got a half inch to go before you've finally got your cockhead in your mouth, and you really want it, you can end up with some major back pain. Slow down and tell yourself "OK, I'm feeling a little back pain now, so I'm just going to back off and jack a nice big load into my mouth."
Lesson #4
Have a big cock. This isn't because men with big dicks are more flexible, but because if your cock is 8 inches long, you'll get to it 2 inches sooner than a 6 incher would. If you are not naturally flexible then you need patience while you learn to stretch safely. Men with 8 inches require 2 inches less patience than men with 6 inches. Some men, like the late, great Scott O'Hara don't have to flexible at all: if they bend over to tie a shoe while erect they end up poking themselves in the eye.
Lesson #5
Do yoga. I didn't need it to stay flexible when I was younger, but I wish I had started at 18 rather than at 38. I do Iyengar style yoga and highly recommend it, but I imagine that any style would be helpful. It's best to take classes with an experienced, certified teacher, but if you want to try it on your own, get yourself a copy of Yoga The Iyengar Way by Silva, Mira & Shyam Mehta, and don't get discouraged because they write as though you should be able to do difficult poses right away. If you want an easier intro, or if you've ever had any back problems you should take a look at Back Care Basics by Mary Pullig Schatz, M.D. which gives explicit instructions for a more gradual, gentle introduction to the basic yoga poses. Iyengar yoga encourages deep physical and spiritual awareness that will help you in your quest to suck hot loads of jizz from your throbbing mantool.
Lesson #5.5
Work Out! The Western lifestyle (which most of the people who are reading this live) is lacking in the kinds of diversified, vigorous exersize that keeps a body healthy and strong. Sitting in front of a computer all the time only makes it worse. I was starting to have some lower-back problems, and even though I was doing Yoga fairly regularly it kept getting worse. I went to physical therapy and they gave me a gym routine to do and what-do-you-know; my back is all better. If I was doing lots of Yoga every day it might not be necessary, but I'm not and the muscles that support my lower back just weren't strong enough. Get a good, basic all-over training routine together, with free-weights or machines, and pay extra attention to your mid-section. It really helps.
Lesson #6
Check out the flexibility/contortion links section on the links page.Most of these are not sexually oriented, but they have lots of interesting information and amazing photos. If you do some surfing you'll find sites that give advice on increasing flexibility. There are also some self-suck how-to sites in the auto-fellatio section of my links page. If you have access to the Usenet, there is at least one Newsgroup devoted to sexual contortionism: alt.binaries.pictures.contortion.nude.
Lesson#7
Buy my videos! Or at least look at the "pictures" section of this website and see how the master (me) does it. I'm sure there must be at least a few other men out there who can auto-fellate as well as I do, but so far I'm the only one who's putting it on video. You probably won't be as good at it as I am, but any time you spend in the pursuit of sexual pleasure is time well spent, right?
Disclaimer:
Like any extreme sport, auto-fellatio can be dangerous. If you end up hurting yourself while doing it; or you lose your job or your social life because you've got your dick in your mouth 24 hours a day, I cannot accept any responsibility. You're a grown man. You do want you want to do, and you accept responsibility for your own actions
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