A Dirty Santa Story
 

Okay...my BFF Jim was Director of Operations for a company in D.C.
His boss the owner of the company was married to the most uptight bible thumping little lady who hailed from Virginia.

Anyway, Jim grew up here in Vegas with a dad who was a total degen gambler...typical story when he was a kid would be Jim's dad would come home and say..."if you have any homework to do, get it done before evening, because they're gonna turn off the electric."

Jim is also a recovering addict / alcoholic who turned his life around after being a pro skateboarder / hacker, and has now gone "corporate."

So to say Jim's thought processes have been skewed a bit by life is an understatement.

So, the company throws what they call a "Dirty Santa" Christmas party, where you have to buy a Dirty Santa gift.

So Jim and his wife run out to the nearest sex shop and find the dirtiest gifts they can find...I'm sure you can see where this is heading.

One of the gifts they buy is a huge dildo called "the intruder." Graphics include some buff gay guy on the cover in camouflage clothing.

They get to the party, and toss their gift into the pile when the drunk boss gets up and explains the game.

Dirty Santa is where you draw the name of a person and they pick a gift and open it...if they don't like it...they can watch everyone else pick a gift and take theirs if they choose to do so.

So Jim does everything he can to get this gift out of the pile, but his drunk boss won't listen...well guess who got Jim's intruder dildo...the uptight little bible thumper from Virginia.