Help me Save My Marriage!!
 

I know it sounds a bit dramatic....but it is.

My marriage is going down the pan, and I'm trying everything to get it back on track.

My idea is to make a music video of my miming to Phil Collins "take a look at me now".

I want to do it so every verse is shot at a different location.

I am also shooting it all on my Nokia N95 video phone as it is easier to be discret with a phone. I dont really want to be seen singing to myself down a larger camera.

Unfortunately, because I am shooting it all myself, I am a little limited in the types of shot i can get. I have managed to get a few good takes miming whilst driving. It looks very natural.

All the other versions look to static. i.e. me just sitting on a chair or laying on a bed etc etc etc.

Can anybody give me some suggestions to try out. EDiting it is OK, but it s the lack of interesting takes that I'm getting frustrated with.

Any suggestions are appreciated.

Many thanks.

Leroy

Don't make a video, Buy her flowers and do something nice for her.

I've done that. ust want to do something original, that looks like I have thought about.

That's a cute idea. I'm sure she'll love it. Have yopu adressed the issues already? You know, the ones that brought your marriage to this point?

JUst started to drift apart.

Yep, the video should be a great idea :) Good luck to you!
I married my exwife only after 6 months of dating. We did more than just drift apart. Realizing that there was more to marriage than just romance broke us. We've grown to be better friends now that we're seperated and i"m not just saying that. Although there are times that i wish we hadn't broke up. I hope you fix your marriage. It would be great to grow old with someone who knows you as much as you know yourself.

relationships are hard thing. does not think what videos will be help.
womans does not need videos or something like this. womans need attention.
think about this.

best of luck man, sounds like you might need it

communication is key.
Take her on a vacation and have a good talk about your problems.

After two marriages and two divorces I have come to the conclusion each partner must give each other some private time for themselves, In a relationship we tend to forget we are only human and each one of us needs to grow and experience life as individuals and as a couple.

stop being a douche... that always helps LOL

Very original indeed, I just hope that this video doesn't end up in youtube....

Just try to be sweeter and show her how important she is to you.

Goodluck to you though :thumbsup

Creative and sweet. But if you are just drifting apart have you discussed this with her? Or are you trying to surprize her with something that might bring a spark again?

Dude u must be desperate to look for help here!

my advice to you would be to take your wifey away somewhere nice and listen to what she has to say on the matter. talk to her in return and see if you cant put the spark back in your marrage. personaly i dont think the video will cut it.
good luck dude.

Just listen to her...

I don't know if a video is the best way. Something in person, no matter how cliche, speaks more to the heart. :2 cents:

http://www.barrettchase.com/SayAnything.jpg

I've been married 22 years, and there are only 2 words you need to know...

Yes dear.

:1orglaugh sounds about right.

Sounds like you'll need more help than a video...LOL

Please tell me this is a joke.

No... he is just a dumbass

whether you make the video or not, try to remember to always remind her what it is you love about her, give her lots of love and compliment what it is that makes you want to be with her. we like to feel appreciated, noticed, and needed.. very simple. i don't need flowers, i don't need gifts, etc.. just let me know that you're happy with me and that makes me happy. :) good luck!!

If you come to GFY for answers to save your marriage,...

It's over.

:2 cents:

I have a little experience saving a marriage so I'm going to stick my two cents in here and give you some advice.

First, everyone loses the exciting spark that was once had when the relationship was new. That's normal. but what really drives a wedge in between two people is the fact that woman are completely different creatures than men. You have heard of "men are for Mars, Woman are from Venus"? Read it if you haven't

In this case something like a video, a great gesture on your part to show your love and make a romantic notion, can actually certify to your significant other that they want that spark again (something that can only be had with someone new).

The first step is understanding that a marriage that is failing is usually due to the long term difference between men and women. Men and women are just not meant to be in long term relationships, but that "spark" is like glue that holds two people together.

Men (generally), opposite to popular belief, need a partner (they want their mommy). So, they latch on and want someone to take care of them. Women on the other hand, want to feel safe and protected, and this doesn't always translate from romantic notions (although it's a good start).

You have to think long term. You have to figure out what your wife "needs" in a man (try asking) and then change a little every day. She'll notice, believe me. If you try to change everything about you overnight, you'll overload, resent her and crash and burn. Flowers and videos, while a nice gesture, are putting a band-aid on a crack on Hoover damn. It's a very short term thing. It also shows an overtone of desperation which can work against you since the act could seem insincere in undertone.

Try to do small things everyday to show you are the man for her. The most common compliant is that "You don't listen to me when I talk" (listen to her when she drones on) and show compassion. It'll make her feel more important than any video or flowers ever will. Women use like 100 words to our 1 when getting an idea across. We think logically, they think emotionally. So their language is filled with expressions of "how they feel", which we cannot really relate to. We see a problem and want to find a solution. A woman sees a problem and wants to tell someone how she feels about it. The solution is secondary.

I'm not saying do not do the video. It is a romantic gesture. But if not supplemented with changes that make her feel important for more than a minute, it's an empty gesture.

Again, this is just my two cents from experience. I hope it helps on some level.

Good Luck!:thumbsup

Read and learn :thumbsup

Don't want to bash you, but this might not be the best place to look for love advice.

heres an idea, be the man she thought you were, the man she wants you to be (if you want to be that man). some one time gesture isn't gonna do much for the long term.

good stuff.... :thumbsup

Get somebody to walk in front of you holding a mirror and shoot into the refelction.

You will see the motion path as you walk.

Great idea, I hope she appreciates the effort.:winkwink::winkwink:

For the record, the spelling of "reflection" has been changed to "refelction."

Really! It is much better this way....

Your marriage is pretty much over then

Cheers.

I wasnt really after marriage guidence, I was more interested in suggestions for original ways of shooting the footage.

But thanks anyway.

Leroy

Well said!! Read that... forget about the video, its a bad idea.

Rays post was the best.. Take it from someone who's marriage ended this year.. I wish I could have gone back and done more of the little things... Work the issues out that turn into bricks that end up breaking the back of the marriage... it will pay off in the long run.. I wish my ex would have been willing to take the steps I was in the end to make things right, but sometimes it becomes sour milk if you don't put in the effort on even small things..

I dont know what to say.................a video?
I dont think that is going to win your wife back.
Have you two thought about counseling and actually working on those issues you both have in the marriage?

Media, sorry to hear about the marriage. Usually by the time we realize there's a real problem it's too late. Try to take something from it and hopefully you can prevent your next relationship from getting too far gone before you correct it.

I am on marriage number two! The first one sure taught me a lesson or two, and I really think that it was that painful experience that helped me to save this one (for now anyways) and see my own flaws. So far I'm ten years in, and considering my first one lasted only four years, I'm optimistic that I learned something from it. Funny thing is that we don't even think about our relationship ending or take action to keep it solid until it is already damaged and usually too late.



"The closer we get to death,
the more we fear it. It's a cruel prank" - Steve O

http://www.savemymarriage.com/intro.html

hope it helps!. good luck to you.

Go for therapy, if you think its going down the toilet . The flowers and cute videos that boat has left the dock. You need to communicate not throw cute things at the problem.