Your take on JEALOUSY in a relationship...
 

So I've been sharing this office with a few other people (and a couple of females)... my girlfriend is not too happy about me being around these females during lunch (when I am not necessarily working).

If the role was switched... her being at work during lunch around a group of individuals... few being male, I would have no problem. If it was just her and 1 other guy, then there'd be a little bit of a concern, but still not a big deal - because I trust her.

If your significant other did not trust you and you'd been together over 2 years... what would you say to him/her about this type of situation?

Jealousy is a motherfucker... It was one factor that helped end my marriage early this year...

You just answered your own question. Jealousy is usually an issue of trust and there is only so much you can do to reassure her.

Is there anything else that you do/say that would cause her to feel like she shouldn't trust you? Or was she hurt before by someone who broke her trust and perhaps she's projecting this on to you? Or if she's really that insecure then usually talking about it a lot (this will be annoying a little because the volume of talking could get high) can help.

Lack of trust in a relationship is a killer and it's no way to live, and 2 years in is beyond the point where you should trust eachother more or less completely. I'd talk to her about why she feels this way (without getting pissed of at anything she has to say) and try and figure out exactly what the problem is. "I'm just jealous, I don't know why" isn't a real answer, there's always an underlying reason.

Ditto :winkwink:

There is a trend here! My best friend just arrived at my Toronto home from Calgary.

He went to check out a place, the people there liked him and a deal was made.

Two days later he gets a call from the owner of the house. The boyfriend of one of the girls in the house "refused to let any guy live there."

Paranoid over nothing.

If I had a gf who could not trust me (well I used to give them reasons) I would have to fix it or move on.

You seem like a good guy. Try and reason with her. She should thank you for caring.

If that doesn't work, fuck her friends.

Just to be safe. :pimp

What's my take? I'd say a little jealousy in a relationship is normal, from time to time that is. When it's constant distrust to the point of causing arguments then something's definitely wrong. As her why she is in the relationship if she doesn't trust you.

Another thing is, extreme jealousy is sometimes the jealous partners projecting of their own unfaithfulness onto their partner. Often it is born out of pure insecurity in themselves, but I wouldn't dismiss the possibility that she herself has cheated and is now overcompensating for it by throwing distrust your way.

one solutions in Jealousy is marriage

or else

brake up with her... and enjoy girls company...

i dont get jealous , if you rich and succesful, u get all the pussy u want

Jelousy is the worst quality in a female. Dating a girl who gets jelouse is a sure way to have a painful breakup/divorce. How did you not know it was going to be a problem for the whole 2 years?

Good post for the most part. I agree 100% with people being jealous because of their own insecurities.

However, as a guy, while I trust my wife, I DON'T trust other guys. I was a guy once and know what we can be like. There is a thread on another board right now asking if you'd fuck a married woman. Guess what? It's about 50%. That means half the guys out there WOULD fuck your wife, given the chance. So now it comes back to your wife, who you trust.

Most women need some sort of "Connection" before they up and have an affair with someone. Sure it happens when they're just drunk, but that would be a one night thing more than likely. That might not be any better, but it's doubtful most women would leave you because they had a fling like that. BUT, if they have a growing connection with someone, and a co-worker is a PERFECT example, THEN you genuinely may have cause to be concerned about losing her entirely.

Most people spend 8 hours a day at work and less time with their partners. That's a LONG time to get to know someone, confide in someone etc. etc. And women become more and more attracted to people that they like. So if they're spending their work day with someone that they like, chances are they'll start to find them attractive at some point, even if nothing ever happens. But throw in the work "connection", a stressful month at home with hubby and booze at the staff Christmas party, and NOONE is above temptation...even the wife you trust completely. :2 cents:

That is a recipe for a nasty divorce. Fight the root of the problem and figure out why she's insecure and if she can't get over it (or you can't get over it together) than move on and don't waste your time no matter what you have invested in her.

There are some people who do the right thing, just because a lot of chicks will act on temptation doesn't mean they all will.

(don't take away all the hope!! :upsidedow )

Agreed, and that's precisely why I said "a little jealousy in a relationship is normal"... and it's definitely normal (and warranted) for a guy to not trust other guys, and by the same token for a woman to not trust other women

It usually only becomes an issue in a relationship though when one partner doesn't or can't find a way to trust his or her other half. Not trusting other guys around your woman is vastly different than not trusting your woman.

I'm lost...

I think he means he was single once, and remembers what singles guys are all about.

Me, I'm still a guy. :D

My gf(which I broke up with 30 minutes ago) is very jealousy. We had been together about 16 months but it did never get better. She always started a fight when I just wanted to go to the bar with some friends. She always talked bad about my female friends. I feel like shit right now, but I know it will be better in a couple of weeks when I'm a free man. :/

Agree...You need to ask her "Do you trust me?" If the answer is yes...then problem solved. She doesn't need to worry about you. If the answer is no...ask her "Why are you with me?"

Trust is very important in a relationship...if it aint there....get rid of her.

You trust her...if she doesn't trust you...she doesn't deserve to have you.

I wouldn't get jealous at all if my man was having lunch with a group of people (even if it was a bunch of girls). But the one on one thing wouldn't fly very well with me. I wouldn't throw it in his face though.

I used to be the jealous type when I was 12...

Seriously, a mother of a girlfriend gave me the best advice - She said:

If she didn't want to be with you, she wouldn't.

Another told me that jealousy is a sign of weakness.

So I said fuck it... and became a man with confidence in my ability to win and keep any woman - yeah, yeah... I know you're smiling... but it's true.

One thing is for sure... if you have a jealous partner, the relationship will never last very long.

Damn this post is an exact description of my relationship.
My gf is so jealous the only thing she has accomplished is getting me to lie to her when I am out with other girls...
And we´ve been together for 4 years.

Trust is very important and is the base for every relationship. Also temptation is out there and after a while it gets to you no matter what. Maybe you can invite her over to have lunch one day and meet everyone there!!