Fucking Oak tree.
 

We have this very large oak tree next to the house. Only real tree near house to provide any shade from the brutal heat we get in the summer.

Well it has really matured over the last two years and this year it is hailing damn big ass acorns. They almost sound like bullets hitting the roof and carport area. Some will fucking hit ground and bounce a good twenty feet with enough strength to still hurt.

I have yet to be knotted on the head yet :Oh crap though I feel it coming since the wife has been hit three times and the tree has claimed another nine other hits on assorted people.

Last year was not as bad as most of the acorns were still fairly small. This year though they are about half the size of a damn ping pong ball and there are thousands.

Plus the damn sound keeps waking my ass up. :disgust

(pssst. I think it hates you)

Pssst! I know it does.

Damn thing reminds me of poltergiest. :helpme

I would kill it and start over but alas the wife demands a shade tree. Maybe one of the acorns will knock that out of her.

Can you have the tree neutered at all?

Nope the only thing that I can have done is have it trimed some this fall. Got to remove a few of the widow makers hanging up in it and a few of the cross and rubbing branches.

I wish I had acess to a tree nut shaker that could fit around its trunk and be done with it. My neighbor is a crazy build it himself derby car driver. Maybe he can help me build one of those belly fat devices from hell to give the tree a good shake with a small block motor. Fuck though I would have to ensure it doesnt hurt the bark.

relax man :)