I'm drunk again
 

fuck, when will it end.

Ok.. I have a joke. Well actually a series of three jokes.

Joke #1

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No Eye Deer

Joke #2

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no eye deer

Joke #3

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and a penis that doesn't work?
A: Still no fucking eye deer


:GFYBand

Okay!!! Well, that was...different.

Try these:

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.

The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey."

The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."

Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

*****

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring to go bag the first deer of the season.

He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"

Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along.

Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve.

Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."

Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant -- much less a deer.

Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.

Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, "Get away from my deer!"

Confused and frightened Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, "Get away from my deer, NOW!" followed by another volley of gunfire!

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air.

The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, "Okay, lady! You can have your f#@ken deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"

ADG

too funny :)

Getting drunk now a bottle of wine and a bottle of scotch:thumbsup
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die or maybe today!

:1orglaugh

drink more most pore

muhahaha

Seriously though when you are up to the amount of alcohol i can consume in a day you know its too much does anyone else drink quite heavily here?
I remember the days when i started on 4 cans of beer at 2% volume and that strung me out!
I have a garbage recycling scheme here and i noticed my neighbors attention to the amount of gin, wine and vodka bottles sitting waiting to be taken!

Im gonna get drunk tonight too!

Can you drink as much as me in 1 day though?

drink much more

fucking crazy!

How much more ?
I read about a girl that said she was up to 3 bottles of wine what volume percentage i do not know and a 750ml bottle of vodka i wouldent think you could go much higher than this personally.
My habits have shocked me the last year or 2 but it certainly puts the recommended intake of 25 units a week out the window by a long chalk anyway!