Almost Lost My Child
 

I have been sitting on this for a few days now, because I was not sure how to deal with it. At first I was surprised and then I was enraged and now I am determined. Here's what happened:

My child now goes to/from school on a school bus in their first year of grade 1. Initially I was against this but there is no way I can get both my kids to school on time without the bus. I resisted but the school assured me that the driver only lets kids on the list onto the bus, and only lets them off at their stop if the child can see someone waiting for them, and knows who that person is. I decided to try it.

My child went to school for 4 days on the bus and was picked up from after care - no problems. The fifth day my child went home on the bus, as per the schedule. The bus arrived at our stop 10 minutes early. My wife was not there yet but two other moms were. Three others kids got off the bus along with my child. The driver did not make sure there was a recognizable person waiting for my child.

One mother left without realizing what happened while the other one saw my kid looking around for mommy. This mother sent her kids to play with mine at the bus stop and waited 5 minutes until my wife arrived. She explained what happened and we were obviously very thankful for her being there to save my kid from the wonders of city life.

I can't help but wonder how my kid was feeling - alone at the stop the first time being dropped off. I wonder WTF the driver was thinking? Most importantly is what would have happened if BOTH the waiting parents had not noticed and my kid was completely alone on the city corner?

I saw the driver each day this week and I tried to mention this to her, but I did not feel I could have done so without traumatizing the other kids on the bus, or making her hate me so much she might treat my kid poorly. I called the school and left a message outlining this and asked for a call back, but they have not yet.

I walked home when I was 5 years old. 5 blocks. No mommy. Where exactly do you live?

Steve, I know what you mean - there are lots of people who have done that in different eras. There is no way it is safe for a 5 year old to walk home nowadays. I live in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada. There is a crack whore who patrols the area of the bus stop - I am glad that she is not around at 7am and 3pm though.

I would have yanked the driver of the buss and beat the living shit out of him/her. To put my child in danger that way. FUCK THEM.

And how old are you??? You are at least 18 and that means that you are talking about 13 years ago. Things have changed in that short of time.

This kind of situation happens alot of places ...its happening with one of my co workers kid ....some crazy shiiet

The one thing I learned in the past 4 years my son has been taking the bus is that its never on time. I'm always sure to have someone there 10 Min's before the bus is dropping off. it helps that the stop is right in front of my house. As for the driver .. I alway make sure i talk to the driver at the beginning of the year and make sure that he/she knows who I am and who my wife is. I also make sure they will not drop the kid unless they see one of us. if they don't then my brother lives right around the block and she can drop him off there with his cousin . if all else fails they take him back to the school for me to pick up. they should never just let the kid off without seeing the parent but you have to make sure they know who you are.

Child abductions didn't happen 13 years ago?

This is no judgement against you, but personally as the mother of two young children, I would never let my children take the bus at that age. I would find some alternative way of transportation. I see little kids taking the bus and walking to and from school and it makes me cringe. #1, the public school systems here in the US suck and they don't give a shit about your kids. #2, there are all kinds of predators out there looking for kids on their way to and from school. I might be a bit overprotective, but I just feel that these days you can't be too careful when it comes to your children.

I love this reaction.... so typical on GFY.

I know you'd never actually do that unless clinically insane, but stop and think about it for a minute.

If you actually were to do that, YOU would become the reason that I'd never want my child left alone in this world.

Are people really this afraid these days?

Noe, I would do the exact same thing if I lived in the USA. I feel a LOT better about living in Canda, no offense intended by that.

My kid goes to a public school, but a regular one, which is hard to explain without going into it.

MikeVega, the driver knows who I am. I talked to her each day to tell her what to expect as my kid was not taking the bus for the first 4 evenings. After she fuckt up I stopped talking to her because I was so enraged. My kid knows who I am and whomever else I send to the stop to get her, so the driver only needs to know that the kid feels safe with that person.

Does anyone make their kid carry ID or phone numbers?

Yes. Have you ever seen child abuse? Ever known anyone who shit like this has happened to? Do you have kids?

I have seen lots of shit that I wish I had not, and yes, I am very cautious. When I told this story to my sister she told me that 3 of her friends had the exact same thing happen to them. When I got to work Justin told me similar stories.

Google for how many kids go missing. These are the kinds of events that lead to some asshat stealing a scared alone kid off the street because the fucking bus driver was 10 minutes early!

I think people have always been this afraid when it comes to their kids.
Things are worse out there but also, people are aware more now of what can happen and are able to share these concerns more.. all thanks to the internet.

It's very hard to understand until you actually have a child of your own.. and I'm not sure I could ever explain it to someone who doesn't have one.

But if you could imagine your most incredibly intense gut wrenching fear... and imagine it happening to someone whom you care more for than you ever thought you could feel for someone.

That's the feeling you feel in your gut when you think of your child being scared, or alone.... or worse.

In some areas in the busiest burbs of Atlanta (I used to live in one), it is REQUIRED that the kids of all age ride the bus. Even as young as kindergarten. My friend lived across the street from her kid's elementary school and wanted to walk her kid to school. Nope. And they wouldn't let you drive them either - too much traffic in an already car filled area. They have too many kids crammed into these schools (and trailers).

And the pervs know this. This happened 12+ years ago but one time she was walking towards the bus stop and right after the bus drove away, a guy pulled up next to her daughter and started asking questions. Thankfully my friend was within sight/shouting distance but it still freaked her (and her daughter) out.

I remember walking approx 2 miles to school and in two different cities we lived in, I was walking alone or with my little brother through woods. Never in a million years would anyone let their kid do that now. Some of the best times I had with friends was on the walk home from school and if I was even an hour late, no one worried. Sad how times have changed :(

I would go to the school and talk to somebody - calmly (no kid needs their parent being branded as the problem parent) - face to face.

i just went through the same fucking thing with my daughter and the bus. First yr. riding the bus (she's 11)...to start it off...the cross street that the bus stop was assigned to...didnt exist on my street..but whatever after a week, mutually we figured it out.
Even @ 11 years old...and the bus stop being 3 1/2 blocks from my house....i do NOT want her walking home...it is not safe!! Unfortunately...you cant depend on anyone to make sure your kids are safe...we HAVE to do it ourselves.

My kids have been taking the bus for years now, and we've never had issues like this.. HOWEVER, the difference being that I have arrangements with one or two local moms that I have known for a few years on the block, and we know that if for some reason we can't make it to the bus, the other mom will take the kids home to watch until we come to collect them, and we have made the bus driver aware of these arrangements. That way I know if I can't get to the bus for some reason or emergency, and she knows likewise, that our kids are taken care of and won't be left in the lurch. It's a good idea to make these kinds of arrangements, you NEVER KNOW when there is an emergency when this is the best kind of situation to have.

The best way to get something done is to do it yourself >.
But If in your case I think that what you did was right, every child is soecial and the bus driver should not have done what she did. Bad call on the bus drivers part. She should be suspended.

Good call. I want to reward the lady who helped me out, but I do not know what to do. I was thinking a gift basket kinda thing...

I also used to have a "secret word" with my son. That way if someone needed to get him that wasn't me, they would tell him the secret word and he'd know I really sent them. We never had to use it, but I just had visions of me semi-conscious somewhere and him at DFACs because he wouldn't let anyone know who he was :winkwink:

Well it was a school bus right?

That was to fault of the bus driver for sure. They are there to ensure safety of the kids.

So wtf happened that made you and all the other parents so damn paranoid? I'm not doubting that sick fucks are out there, but it seems a bit excessive.

No, I don't have kids. If I did, my daughter would be locked in her room till she was 35.

This happened to my son many moons ago on his first day at school. He was to be bussed in the morning, but go to daycare in the afternoon so I could pick him up.

At the time, he was the only child (on my street) going to that school and getting off at the busstop. To make a long story short - I was at work and got this horrible feeling in my gut and for some reason, I called the school's daycare to make sure my son was there. It was like I was talking in tongues - they had no idea what/who I was talking about, until they had a 'OMG He was put on the bus'. I worked about 15 minutes away but I blew every light like a maniac - called all my neighbours to check for my son outside - nobody could see him or noticed him. I was living in the same building as my mother but she wasn't home - my grandmother was, but she had alzeheimer's which is why I didn't want to burden anyone with having to care for my son after school.

It's an older neighbourhood so although everyone on my street is home/retired, nobody noticed the schoolbus or if my son was on it/came off it. I got home and all the neighbours were searching bushes, backyards, everyone was in tears. After about 10 minutes of searching - everyone is in a panic - the school kept calling my to see if he was home/if I found him/keeping me updated on tracking the busdriver. I'm going in the house to call the cops & my ex-husband and I see my son with a HUGE friggen smile on his face, PROUD as a peacock telling me: MOMMY, I'm a big boy now, I can walk home from the bus and let myself in the house, too!

After restoring the position of my heart, my son explained that when the busdriver saw that nobody 'claimed' him - he continued his route but came back 2 times to see if anyone was waiting for him. After the final child got off the bus, the driver drove around the block so my son wouldn't have to cross the street - asked him where he lived and dropped him off in front of the house and since my grandmother hadn't locked the door, he got in the house, waved to the busdriver and went to get himself a snack.

I was pissed at the school but glad the busdriver had enough of a braincell to follow the procedures he did.



On my frantic drive home - all I could think about is my son being scared, running into the street, into the bushes or whatever for fear of abandonment. Like 'she doesn't care about me' she's left me... Worst fucking feeling around.

Media attention, mainly.

The funny thing is that statistically, it has generally gotten safer in the past 20 years or so.

My daughter has it in permanent ink on her schoolbag - on a bus badge from the school - and on every book & pencil in her pencilcase. **I'm not paranoid, just got in the habit of doing that when getting the school supplies.

What is funny is that 9/10 of the people in this thread would have let your kid off that bus as well, including the provider of this post. Bus drivers are charged with a very important job, yet they are paid like they work in mcdonalds, so you get less trained, somtimes uncaring individuals who are like employees of every work force.

Bored, tired, stressed, and underpaid = not memorizing every kids parents face to know if she is responsible enough to pick up their kid on time.:2 cents:

Sometimes I really wonder about what sort of people the school bus companies hire. Around here they don't seem overly selective either.

And you're right - if you get too verbal about the situation with the driver, chances are your kid might get the backlash from the driver. We've had that happen in the past with our two girls.

Good luck with whatever approach you take. These days you can't be too careful about children and security.

sounds like a scary experience.

in the home of the free and brave that idiot Bush is spreading nothing but fear!

While I'm sure what you say is quite true and I fully agree - it doesn't absolve someone (whether it be the bus company or the school board) from being held accountable for the driver's lack of responsibility and good judgement.

At the very least a strong reprimand to the driver should be in order. I don't think firing them is the best approach, since not knowing all the details leaves room for simple human error and oversight. Not to defend the driver, but perhaps the driver felt really bad after the incident and isn't inclined to repeat the mistake again.

I have a friend that drives a bus here and he's been doing it for some time. he's a retired corrections officer and took the job because it pays $25 an hour. I don't think you can make that much in McDonalds.

We have a pretty good system here and the younger kids were an ID that has their bus# and address on it. each kid is put on the bus at the school and the driver can only drop the kid to people they have on a list. they also have a list of phone #'s that they should call if none is at the stop for the kid.

I tried to take my neighbors kids off the bus once because he called me and was running late and even know the bus driver knows us both and knows we are friends she wouldn't let the kids off the bus. she took them back to the school for the parents to pick up. I feel fine putting my kid on the bus and feel its a bonding time for him with the kids in the area. I'm not in a city area so I'm not sure how i would feel if i was.

What happened is TV and the Internet made it really easy to learn and realize this shit actually happens. Of course you would call it excessive - there is nothing in your life that you can relate to parenting with. Nothing. You simply will not get it until you have a kid.

My heart was happy to read that ending - mixed emotions for sure. Wow. It demonstrates how kids think so differently from us. To him it was a journey into manhood and for us it's an absolute nightmare.

I spend a LOT of my time wondering what my kids are thinking, and things like this make me sick and are often a catalyst of change in me.

The provider of this post... You mean yourself, not me. The bus driver's job is make sure the child recognizes the person waiting for them. If not, they don't get off. The driver is to take them back to the school for a phone call. Simple. Anything that deviates from that is a demonstration of stupidity.

FUD = Fear, Uncertainty & Doubt = Control

I started kindergarten when I was 4 and walked both ways. I DID have 2 brothers in the same school though (6 and 7yrs old, lol).

Of course, that was a whole different world back then you know.. 1968. So today, no way in hell would I like that situation :(

Here locally, a bus driver was FIRED yesterday because they made a child get off at the wrong stop.

Story: http://blog.syracuse.com/news/2007/0...ver_fired.html

So you didn't almost lose anything, your thread title is not so accurate.

Well things are quite different here in the states and always have been. Shit if our bus drivers knew that they were making 25 dollars an hour up north they would be flocking to your country. Sadly they are not paid well and not in the least required to memorize every parent at every stop. Sounds a bit excessive. If a parent cant be there to pick up a child its NOT on the driver. Sounds like more responsibility needs to be put on the parent. Every time I think of a bus driver trying to count every kids parent as they let them off the bus I start laughing. It would be a nightmare to do that in the city. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

The bus was early. 1st grader, 1st week of school; the bus driver should have idled at the curb until back on schedule.

Today I saw cars driving on the street. Does that mean I almost got hit by one?

I'm sorry, but I have to side with the 'If you kid can be trusted to be on the schoolbus by himself, he's probably safe to be outside for two, three minutes' folks, and I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. :thumbsup

I would definately keep calling the school and raising hell.Making sure there is something done about this.

It's funny the way people react to things.

A parent could calmly approach the bus driver and say "Look, I know you're busy, and it's the first week and what not .. But could you please make sure my child doesn't get off the bus if I'm not waiting for him? He's kind of young and it's important to me."

OR

As you suggest, right away go on the offensive, because damnit you're in the right and everyone is going to fucking pay for this travesty of educational justice!

One of those two approaches will probably get what you want, the other will get your child marked as the child of that bitch, the trouble maker.

You really DO catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

this is exacdtly why i dont want kids.

too stressful

maybe im too young still to get the picture

If that one parent did not see the situation unfold I would have lost my child. This is a near loss, so it remains correct.

Does not matter if the job is difficult - it needs to be done properly. This driver is required to know where to pick up which children and know where to drop off which children, and when dropping off, make sure the child knows the person that is waiting there.

Simple, not hard.

Damn Straight! :thumbsup

Did one come so close you feared you would be hit, or did you just make a stupid comment to be controversial?

How do you figure?

The chances of a child that's left alone for 5 minutes being abducted, or whatever, is in it's self pretty low. Far less than say 1%. Far, far, far less actually. In this case, however, another parent was present so the risk was further reduced to near Zero.

Now I know what you're getting at that no risk is acceptable when it comes to your child. But really, this was not an ALMOST situation by any stretch of the imagination.