This place is a fucking Circus
 

Labret is poor and has been all his life. He doesn't mind it much, except for the fact that every year when the circus comes to town, he never gets to see it. The years pass and every year he watches the circus come and go with a tear in his eye. Then one year as the circus is leaving, he snaps. "Fuck it," he says." I'm going to get myself a job so I can see the circus."

The next day he applies for a job at a supermarket stacking shelves. He gets this job and works his heart out. He works every night stacking shelves, earning money. He spends very little, and saves heaps. He is the best worker the supermarket has ever seen. A year passes, and the circus comes to town.

As soon as the gates to the circus open, Labret races up, first in line to buy a ticket. the excitement overwhelms him. He walks around the circus. He sees the animals, the freak show, buys a hot dog, plays on the clowns. And then he sees it, what he's been waiting for all these years...The Big Top.

Labret races into the tent and takes a seat. Pretty soon the tent fills up and the show begins. It's a packed house and the buzz is electric. The dancing horses come out, then the elephants, then everyone's favorite, the clowns. The clowns run around and do their act making everyone laugh. When all this is finished, the head clown picks up a microphone and says "Now we'd like to pick a member of the audience to help with our show."

All the lights go out and a spotlight circles the crowd. and, as luck should have it, it lands on Labret. Labret is ecstatic, he nearly shits his pants with excitement. He can't believe his luck. The head clown comes up to him and says..

"Hey mister, are you the horse's head?"

"No." Labret replies.

"Are you the horse's ear?"

"No"

"Are you the horse's tail?"

"No"

"Then you must be the horse's ASS!!!!"

And then whole tent erupts into fits of laughter all of Labret's expense. Everyone is laughing, except for Labret. He's as pissed as fuck. He vows then and there that next year, when the circus comes to town, he'll get his revenge on the clown.

As he's walking home, still fuming from the humiliation that the clown caused, Labret thinks of ways that he can get back at the clown. Death, violence, poisoning....and then it hits him. Labret will give the clown a taste of his own medicine. Next year, Labret will blast the clown with the biggest insult ever!

The next morning Labret flips through the phonebook looking for someone who can help him with his revenge. Then he finds an ad.

INSULT SCHOOL
Sick of being picked on? Come to our school and soon you'll be verbally attacking people with vigor!

'This is just what I need!!!" says Labret. So he rings up the school and enrolls the next day.

So every day Labret goes to the insult school, studying hard so he can learn the best and most harsh insult so he can get back at the clown. On top of this, he still stacks shelves at the supermarket to get the money for the circus. Day in, day out Labret works his ass off.
Then his day arrives...

As soon as the circus opens it's gates Labret barges to the front of the line, pushing people out of his way. No longer is he a kind, considerate man. He's a pissed off m.f. hell bent on revenge. He give the ticket seller the money, snatches the ticket and storms off.

He sees all the regular shit. The animals, the freaks, the clowns. He's so excited that he goes into the Big Top an hour before the show starts, just so he can get a good seat. The tent begins to fill up and the show starts...

The dancing horses come out, Labret yawns. Then the elephants, Labret tries to stay awake. And then the act Labret has waited a year for, the clowns. The clowns run around and do their act making everyone laugh. Labret wonders why everyone is laughing, it's the same shit they did last year. When all this is finished, the head clown picks up a microphone, exactly the same as last year ,and says "Now we'd like to pick a member of the audience to help with our show."

All the lights go out and a spotlight circles the crowd. and, as luck should have it again, it lands on Labret. Labret is sits cool, calm and collected. The head clown comes up to him and says..

"Hey mister, are you the horse's head?"

"No." Labret replies.

"Are you the horse's ear?"

"No"

"Are you the horse's tail?"

"No"

"Then you must be the horse's ASS!!!!"

And again the whole tent erupts with laughter. Except for Labret. He sits there staring straight at the clown, a look of pure evil and hate on his face. The laughter quickly dies down as everyone knows something is going to happen. The crowd watched. This is Labret's moment. He takes a deep breath, looks at the clown and says...

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"FUCK YOU CLOWN!"

Oh, shit. I'm fucking dieing.

WOW, you have way too much time on your hands and a very serious obsession with labret. LOL

Im gonna tell you a story.

I was at the bite of Seattle. Drunk, minding my own business, walking around with girlfriend.

Out of the corner of my eye I see some street performer mocking me from behind.

Drunk and angry I spin around and give the mime clown a nice shove and threatened to beat his lame clown ass. I have no love for clowns and I really dont like being mocked behind my back.

It was then I realized that I had unknowingly wandered through the little back part of his little grassy ampitheatre and he had a nice little audience. They then started to boo me.

I felt like an ass for about 2 seconds then went back to drinking.

True story.

The moral of the story is mixing a drunk man with a clown is very dangerous.

Clowns scare me.

I've heard mrthumbs is at war with the clowns. Just a rumor?

I used to fuck a clown a bit...

She called herself Binky the Christian Clown....

She used to suck it while in her costume... the little clown make-up would get everywhere, and everytime she would deepthroat it her little nose would squeek..

She was so cute! Id hit it from behind and she would quote scriptures... ahh those were the days

:eek7

I?m funny how? I mean funny like I?m a clown, like I amuse you? I make you laugh, like I?m here to fuckin? amuse you?

HAHAHAHAH

I dislike clowns..

Fletch ;-)

Had a buddy in the Navy who used to do his "Spoon the Clown" routine for children's homes and hospitals; he was out on one of those gigs one day, his car broke down, and he called me for a ride back to base. I had just bought another car - a 1960 VW Beetle, thankyouverymuch - from one of the officers in the squadron, and hadn't had time to change the sticker on the bumper (officers have a different color so the Marines know to salute it). So, I pick him up, we smoke our lunch on the way back to work, and Spoon - who is still in full clown regalia except his squadron ball cap - snaps a quick salute BACK at the Marine at the front gate.

Base security stopped my car before we were 200 yards from the main gate. They brought the dope dogs out, who were of course going nuts ... but there was nothing for them to find in the car or on us. They ended up writing me a ticket after threatening to charge me with impersonating an officer. I probably wouldn't have even gotten the ticket if I hadn't pointed out that I was not responsible for the car impersonating an officer ... and thank gawdamitey there was no piss test for pot in the good old days.

I had a friend who was a clown... when he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car

:1orglaugh

you're ok

http://www.moonshadow-productions.com/images/shakes.jpg


One Twiiiisted Fucking Movie...

MrThumbs,

I'm ok.
You're ok.
We're ok.

What an awesome image.
I'll never get head the same way again.

*squeak*
*squeak*
*squeak*


I love it.

"YOU had a friend"

... POOR GUY stick around i am sure you can find a new one !! lol :thumbsup

I am tending to believe that what you left out of the neon story might just be your life Colin...

Hey KK! :-)

What I left out of the Neon Jungle would piss a lot of people off. It's a highly edited version. I have no reason to piss any of my friends off. I'm not Luke Ford. ;-)

I have no problem writing about my own indiscretions.

What's this story about?

Existentialism?

Yup. I'm prevented by law from posting the URL.

The pictures of the hookers are entertaining though.