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I'm a VERY straight acting gay dude. I don't push my sexuality on anyone, ever. I just got out of a 9 year, horrible, relationship in which I was never allowed to have guy friends.
I met this straight dude right before my ex and I broke up. I'll just say his name is ....ummmm....to be discrete....John.
It's been 6 months since the break up and John and I are now roommates and work together as well. In other words, we are together 24/7. We even spend our money together. And we share my car. Anytime one of us decides to go out, the other goes too.
At first, I was not attracted to him, as a matter of fact, I am usually never attracted to his style and body type.-Don't get me wrong, he's cute, but just not what I would normally be attracted to.
When we first started hanging out, we had a conversation in which he stated he had never met a gay guy like me that was so easy to be friends with, cause he knew he didn't have to worry about me hitting on him. I told him that night, that I would NEVER make a move on him and that if anything were to happen between us it would have to be him who makes the first move. He said that will never happen.
All my friends tell me that "no straight guy hangs with a gay guy like that unless he's really gay", and "be patient, cause he's gonna come out anytime now".
John doesn't "hit" on me. But when he looks at me, he smiles with his eyes and looks at me like he wants to be certain I'm happy. He is ALWAYS looking out for me.
Now, I know he does this out of being a "good friend", but sometimes he goes further.....like.....cooking me dinner. He'll only watch a movie or tv show if I want to watch it. If my ex calls, he gets pissed. If any other guy hits on me he is quick to tell me what he thinks and usually it's not nice.
All of these signs that have told me in the past whether or not a guy liked me are now confusing me. Because at the same time, he talks about wanting sex with a girl. Only one time in the past six months has he ever went home with or even met a girl. He told me they just messed around a little and talked the rest of the time.-I didn't even ask him about it, he brought it up and told me.
I've also discovered that he grew up VERY religiously and feels it is a sin to do gay things. I grew up that way too, I just came to terms with it earlier in life.
If homosexuallity or religion is brought up, he either goes silent or leaves the room or tells whoever is speaking that he doesn't want to discuss it.
My problem is that I care more for him than I have ever cared for ANY man or woman in my life. I too, want to be sure he is happy all the time.
Some people say, get him drunk and see what happens. But I respect and love him more than that. I won't take advantage of him, I'm just not that type of guy to anyone.
I want to tell him, but by his past conversations on that type of subject he feels uncomfortable to the point of getting quiet. But as long as we don't talk anymore on the subject, he goes right back to being sweet and trying to make me happy.
The other night, we were out late partying and he brought this girl back to a afterbar party. He then told me about this girl after we had arrived and she followed. I got jealous, and left the party. He knew I got jealous, and left the party immediately after and came home to make sure I was ok. Nothing was said between him and I about that night since, but some friends that were there, told me I chewed his butt in front of everyone. I feel really bad and know he knows about me getting jealous. The next morning, after my episode, he brings me breakfast at work and was as sweet as he has ever been.
So, my question for anyone that may be able to offer some advice.....
How do I know if he likes me that way? And how do I let him know I like him that way, without being offensive or driving a good friend away? And should I persue this or move on?
Please help me, I'm going crazy! Love crazy! And I feel there is nothing I can do.

xoxoxo
Tommy