Five-star joke
 

Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly
the engine stalls and they crash. Miraculously all five of
them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted
island. Since these four guys will need to have their
natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule.

Each guy would get a week to dick the woman as much as
possible, the next week another guy, and so on. This
arrangement works out great for years, satisfying both the
guys and the nymphomaniac woman until she suddenly dies?

The first month went by and it was really awful; second month
was really bad; third month was almost unbearable; fourth
month rolls around and the guys couldn?t handle it anymore...

...so they buried her.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her.

They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy.

The husband finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate.

The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."

Two bums are walking down the railroad tracks, when they come across a dead cat in the middle of the tracks.

The one bum looks at the other, "After you."

"Why, thank you.", replies the other - and he kneels down and proceeds to eat this dead cat.

After he is done, the two are walking down the tracks, when all of a sudden the one bum that ate the cat drops down on all fours and heaves his guts up.

The other bum says, "Ah, just what I've been waiting for - A HOT MEAL!".



:Graucho

A bum walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The barkeep tells the bum to hit the road. The bum eyes a spittoon and asks the bartender if he can have a free drink if he drinks the spittoon. The bartender laughs and says "sure", thinking of how much fun he'll have watching the bum drink all the spit and puke. The bum picks up the spittoon and starts to drink it. The bartender is repulsed and tells the bum to stop, he can have the free drink. The bum keeps drinking and drinking. The barman again tells the bum to stop in between his own wretching and dry heaving, but the bum keeps drinking. Finally the bum puts the spittoon down and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. The bartender asks why he didn't stop when he said he could have the free drink. The bum says " I couldn't, it was all in one string".

:winkwink:

LOL :1orglaugh :1orglaugh great jokes!

A cop happens upon two drunks in a parking lot. One drunk is bent over with his pants around his ankles and his buddy's finger up his ass.
The cop asks the drunk with his fi9nger buried up his friend's ass "What the hell are you doing?"
The drunk replies "I'm gonna make my friend puke"
"Well, that isn't how you do it." the cop responds to which the drunk replies "Just wait til I stick it in his mout"

are/were u the drunk?

Sykk -
That's a great joke . . . but here's how it goes:

About closing time, a cop spots two guys in the alley next to a bar. As he approaches, he sees that one guy has his finger up the other guy's ass. "What the hell's going on here?", asks the cop. "Well, Officer, my buddy here is shitty drunk, and he needs to puke real bad. . .and I'm just helping him out", said the guy. "Wouldn't it be better to put your finger down his throat?", asks the cop. "Yeah", said the guy, "that's what I'm gonna do next."

yeah, thanks ;)

I've been working on a screen play and all this dialog shit has been cramping my joke typing ability....LOL