| CarlosTheGaucho |
07-02-2007 01:34 PM |
As I just had a couple of drinks and feel like it I will share a story.
Last summer I went for a comeback party around my hometown. Somehow I was interesting or we were both drunken enough to impress a chick that I use to see at the high school and that I found hot.
Around midnight we found that we are sitting besides each other, chatting and eventually doing silly and horny drunken proposals to each other. Well it didn't take too long and about 5 AM the party was almost over and we had nowhere to go so we decided to try luck on one of the tables. Yet hell there was still this one stoner who had to mess around all the time coming to tune in his smashin reggae songs and we haven't really felt for a public invasion.
So there we go, "let's go to your place" I say. Bad Idea! Fuck we are crawling like half an hour with 4 promiles in blood around the smalltown (or a village) lookin like Sid and Nancy half drunk half naked to get to her house.
As we get closer she starts to get somehow nervous and tries to explain me something with her raspy voice, broken intonation and very less sense that I partly can't and partly don't want to understand. So I don't care and tell her not to worry cause I ain't a genius either after an avalanche of Beer and Jäger at 6 AM and I don't want to mess a romantic zombie sex.
So the morning sun (nothing is more anoying when you are loaded) is shining on the two horny zombies and we come to her place, hell a three stock house that's a lot of space I think.
So she says "SHHHH" Quiet and I assure her noone gets buzzed in the house. Not to waste time I am immediately doing a passionate undressing scene on the stairs, petting like from a teenager magazine, then we continue through the bathroom, then we move one stock up heading to get to her bedroom in the second.
Well there is a kitchen so I think why not to try out some Jack Nicholson / Jessica Lange "The Postman Rings Twice" scene with my shirt left on stairs and lots of apetite for a drunken breakfeast bang.
Oh yet hell I was back on earth from Hollywood in a second. "Angie ! (I chose a different name as I have to be galant a bit)" A very nervous 45 like woman turns in the kitchen doorway with a cup of coffee and the most traditional and cliche "worried mum" looks you can imagine! Well I didn't knew that she recently moved back home!
Anyway as far as one can be drunk I don't care! I am telling to myself my own logic - why should she care? So give it a very nice smile of the drunken guy coming to molest her daughter and I continue to the bedroom!
She comes over and she doesn't look very relaxed, then her mother comes in and tells something among the lines of "Sir you have to leave this house immediately ". Now I start to sober up and realising that I shouldn't made her mother desperate with my sexual appetite, I decide to leave not to make trouble in an old fashioned (or maybe even normal) family.
The last thing I decide is to straighten up things and explain her that I haven't come there only to have the best time possible with her daughter (which I probably had). So I say the cliches like "We know each other for a long time" "It's not like an overnight thing" "..." crap like this and she seems to be embarassed (fuck it I made myself the right thing!).
So I come out and once the wind starts to blow I realize probably the reason why she couldn't say a word while I was saying the hell of a story to her - I had all the fuckin time my dick out! As I was drunk I haven't realised my jeans were open all the time!
So it wasn't much bout condoms cause I haven't even got a chance to use but I feel a bit high on beer and like storytelling this evening. :pimp
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