I had an experience with Jehovah today. (Good shit, Maynard!)
I had just finished cooking up a kick ass breakfast. Just the basic stuff but cooked in lard the way us fat people like it.
Anyway....So I hear a persistent knock at the door and decide to see who it is and WTF they want bad enough to interrupt my morning cuisine. As I headed for the front door I crept up on the peep hole and peered out upon a pair of two lovely dressed, blue haired, 70+ year old ladies.....Standing on my front porch, while I am holding the plate loaded with my first course and sporting a black and red Bang Bus T-shirt.
How ironic.
Moving on.......
Old Lady # 1: (From now on will be referred to as OL1 and respectively OL2 who you will be introduced to next.) "Good morning. We would like to invite you to a..........." The pamphlet in her hand went limp and glided to the ground as she gazed at the seven letters and the space written boldly on my man boobs.
Me: "No thank you, I'm pretty certain I'm not interested."
OL2: "Well if you change your mind......"
OL1: "......No, he said he's not interested. We should go. Enjoy the beautiful day sir."
OL2: "But we should...."
OL1: "No, we need to go. Good bye sir."
And they left.
Now....What I want to know is how in the fuck a 70+ year old Jehovah's witness knew what Bang Bus was? She CLEARLY read my shirt and started to wig the fuck out.
Front door video surveillance would have been the shit to have this morning.
Anyway....So I hear a persistent knock at the door and decide to see who it is and WTF they want bad enough to interrupt my morning cuisine. As I headed for the front door I crept up on the peep hole and peered out upon a pair of two lovely dressed, blue haired, 70+ year old ladies.....Standing on my front porch, while I am holding the plate loaded with my first course and sporting a black and red Bang Bus T-shirt.
How ironic.
Moving on.......
Old Lady # 1: (From now on will be referred to as OL1 and respectively OL2 who you will be introduced to next.) "Good morning. We would like to invite you to a..........." The pamphlet in her hand went limp and glided to the ground as she gazed at the seven letters and the space written boldly on my man boobs.
Me: "No thank you, I'm pretty certain I'm not interested."
OL2: "Well if you change your mind......"
OL1: "......No, he said he's not interested. We should go. Enjoy the beautiful day sir."
OL2: "But we should...."
OL1: "No, we need to go. Good bye sir."
And they left.
Now....What I want to know is how in the fuck a 70+ year old Jehovah's witness knew what Bang Bus was? She CLEARLY read my shirt and started to wig the fuck out.
Front door video surveillance would have been the shit to have this morning.
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