real question...what do u guys think of prenups?
 

does a fiancee have any reason to trip over this shit???

my wife didnt make me sign one...

I think its a necessity in today's day and age but it should also only be considered on a case to case basis.

i had one made up, but i forgot to have her sign it haha guess im stuck with her forever or till death do us part!

how much does it cost to go through the paperwork for one????

if you don't live in a community property state, i advise you get one . . . especially since the odds are against you

i was thinking about it..but fiancee is tripping over it right now....u guys have any recommendations on how to bring it up "nicely"

Based on this question you don't need one. Just marry her.

Tell her it protects her from inheriting your debts.

yeah....thats a good one...unfortunately...
too bad shes the one that has debts, not me.

so tell her it keeps you from inheriting her debts.

:Oh crap

arguing begins.....

CYA ... cover your ass! tell her that you know your relationship is so strong that you know it would have to be something serious for you two to break up and it would get ugly so its best to think about it now.

what are the odds that you have assets to worry about?

Totally unromantic to start off a relationship assuming you will break up BUT I do understand why people do them.

Just remember that the majority of females base things more on emotion rather than logic. Tell her that it doesn't have anything to do with the way you feel or that you're preparing yourself for your next relationship, but that you would want things to be fair for her and for you. If you end up broke one day and you end up with a lot of debt, then it will definitely be divided up. But tell her this prenup is just to make things easier if anything EVER happens. People are not perfect and prenups definitely help the couple to remain independent and not too reliable on each other - a healthier balance in other words.

Many divorces are because of money situations - so if both people knew how to hold their own, there would not be a problem.

The problem is when you get married your usually not making much money to begin with so it's not something your thinking. Years later when you own multiple houses and cars and a business....... yeah, it's a mess.

Exactly.

There is no nice way unfortunately. The options are you either sign one, and then get married. Or you wait until I have amassed wealth, while with you unmarried,..

then later get married so you are not entitled to anything I had prior to the marriage. Only the fruits of labor.


:winkwink:

I think they are a must have. I agree that it is not romantic to talk about the potential demise of a marriage when it is just starting. But I also think it is foolish to get married without one.

Edit:

One potential way to soften the blow is to approach it as a prenup is not just about money. You can add all kinds of stuff to one. Then ease the financial stuff in the side door.

romance doesn't put gas in the v12.

I think they're pretty much a necessity these days.

I like bonkerz2007's idea of how to broach the subject.

I think they're pretty much a necessity these days.

I like bonkerz2007's idea of how to broach the subject.

No Its A Must Have If She Gives You Shit Get Another Girl

I'm never going to have to worry about it again...I learned about the mistake of marriage this last time and don't plan on being a repeat offender....not that I have any assets left for someone to go after anyways...

My company was already established etc so my wife had no problem signing one. Pretty much protects myself and my company if anything should happen.

Tell her you have too many people depending on you for their livelyhood, (That was established before you met) and it's a necessity to protect those individuals, and business affiliations in today's business climate.
(Yeah, that sounds good)

Ya I know, she sounded pretty pumped about it on the phone with me the other day :thumbsup

If your partner was making more than you, like a lot more, and she asked you to sign one, would you sign it or move on?

If you have a business and have partners and she's not one of them you owe it to your partners to have a prenup done.

If she makes a scene about it then you just saved yourself the expenses of a wedding and a honeymoon. And also all the I told you so that would bug the hell out of you ;-)

My upcoming marriage is really nothing more than a highly modified prenuptial agreement, power of attorney, and a few other contracts. We did not involve the state at all. So by state law we will not be married (think gay marriage). We get every benefit aside from some federal/state tax shit.

ummm, what?

so i gave up $100 bones and you ain't even getting married! you bastard!

hehe, j/k hope it helps

Prenups rock. saving my ass as we speak. If the asset level is close then no worries if it is skewed then why would she hesitate? I had about 4k into my prenup fees.

Call me ignorant but why does the wife always get half???

I mean why does she fucking deserve it?
Whats the logic behind this shit?

Remember that prenups WILL be challenged in a messy divorce....For my first marriage, I went to the library and drew up some bullshit prenup based on a template prenup and it was grossly in her favor...I challenged the validity of it during the divorce which made it invalid..

Even if you have a lawyer draw up the prenup, if it leave the woman with next to nothing, it will probably be ruled invallid anyway....

Best thing to do is do what Aftershock did and just sign some contracts and a power of attorney...

the necessity for a prenup depends mostly on the state of residence.

Great posts. I agree with the majority here, I think protecting your hard earned wealth is important. People who think everything is rosy forever are kidding themselves. You should Absolutely have a prenup if the situation warrants it.

i think a prenup is wise for most anyone these days

Think about this if a girls shows her fangs about the topic of a Prenup, just imagine how vicious she would be in a divorce court.
The courts are set-up against the man....you have to protect yourself

if you got the flow do it, otherwise why bother :)

Challenged but rarely broken. And yes do not try to leave her with zip. That is not the point of a prenup.

I never got a prenup, then again my wife and I also waited 9 years to get married, so after that much time, I definately knew that we were meant to be. I guess I was right because we've now been married for just about 7 years :)

For those of you that are rushing into marriage after a year or two, I could see a bigger risk where you might want one, since in a lifelong relationship, that's not a lot of time, but if you can just push your marriage off longer to REALLY make sure it's meant to be, then maybe you might not need one either :)

What usually starts out with harmony, trust, lotsa love and incredible sex, has a good chance of turning sour and latest when you start thinking about splitting ways, even relationships become business deals. Attorneys get paid, division of assets, allocation of funds, associated debt will be assigned, etc. So, when you compare the last line to the first line - it's Love vs. Business. In the end, no one on this planet would consider a partnership in a business without contractual/prenup backup. Which is pretty much your answer.
Trust me, not having one was a VERY costly mistake for me...i'd definitely advise to get one drawn up.
Is there a way to present it nicely? Yeah, because each and every benefit or profit is a nice thing, thus, when it comes straight down to it, it's for her and your protection, benefit and safety. Unless she can assure you that it will NEVER come to a split, which no rational person can do, she's probably going to see your point.
*lecture end* :winkwink:

It all depends if you *really* know the person before you get married - whether you need a prenup.
When my first broke up after 15 years (we'd known each other for five years before we got married) - we just went through everything and said "this is mine, this is yours" - it took about an hour and not a single argument. Exactly what I expected, from knowing her so well even before we got married. We then got a do-it-yourself divorce for $110, and after it was finalized in court we went out to lunch before I drove her back to work.
This time around (not with the same person lol), we've been together for eight years (and have known each other for ten years) so I'm also not concerned.
But without that history - I'd be drawing up the prenup as we speak lol

Is it possible to have in a prenup something like:

If the split is initiated by her before 10 years is up, then she doesnt get shit. If the split is initiated by either party after 10 years of married life has elapsed, then she gets $5k.

Can you do something like this? I realise $5k is probably too much but you get the idea :1orglaugh

Prenups are smart, but they should be fair. Most likely you will be willing to give her more now, than you would when you are pissed off and divorced. I think it would make divorce a whole lot easier, if you take out the fight over money. You may even be able to stay friends after.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:thumbsup

i don't plan on my house burning down, but that doesn't mean i don't get homeowners insurance.

Marriage is the way a man proves he loves his woman, signing a prenup is the way a woman proves she loves her man.

this is a good quote