Splum is one of the best GFY characters ever.
 

As time goes on I am getting a better and better appreciation for Splum. Sure, he is no Anal Hobbit, but you have to love a guy that can make Limbaugh, Hannity and even Buchanan look liberal.

I think I need to start a site called "ask Splum". It would be like a dear Abby type of site where people could submit their questions and Splum would give them solid, sound answers.

For Example someone could write in:
"Dear Splum, I'm a married father of two and my oldest is about to graduate high school. We have had some debate about the which is the best college for him to go to. Do you have any suggestions?"

Splum responds: "Look, if you want your kid to be a pillow-biting, liberal, pacifist, pot-head that won't make his own decisions and won't act without consulting Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and getting a written note from the ACLU, I wouldn't send him to college. You should put him in the Army. Get him through boot camp and ship his ass to Iraq. If your son goes on to get an education and doesn't die in Fallujah, the terrorist have won."

Or maybe:
"Dear Splum, I'm recently divorced and having trouble dating. I meet women, just nobody I can connect with. Any ideas on what I should do?"

Splum responds: "First, you need to wake up, turn off Air America and stop sucking on Al Franken's ass for two minutes because all the liberal jizz has backed up your brain. Clearly you need to swear off women, build a cabin in the woods, get a bunch of guns and do some training and hunting. You shoot a deer then yank its still beating heart out and eat it. Only then will you be ready for the impending civil war that will be brought on by liberal pacifism and bowing to terrorist. It worked for the guys in Red Dawn. They ate the heart and then kicked some commie asses. WOLVERINES!"

Or even:
"Dear Splum, I think my employer is reading all my emails and monitoring my Internet usage when I'm at work. I don't do anything non-work related, but should I still be suspicious of what they are doing?"

Splum responds: "Listen up you pinko-socialist, Che Guevara worshiping shit-bag. The company you work for is not spying on you. They are trying to protect you from evil rival companies that want to hurt you. If protecting you means taking away any privacy you have, you shouldn't worry about it. You are safe as long as you aren't doing anything wrong. You should never question your leaders when it comes to safety. They clearly know what is best for you. Now go home and swallow a bottle of sleeping pills. Your liberal blathering is taking up good oxygen that the rest of us could be using."

What do you think? Would it be a hit?

Isn't Splum Pathfinder?

Dude I am so flattered for the thread specifically about me. Thank you.

He's just trying to sell his sig, don't take it too seriously. His "pro-American" views that border on Fascism are so hypocritical that it's entertaining.

Hah the "selling the sig" angle is funny. :1orglaugh Id NEVER sell it lol but again I am glad you find me entertaining.

Na.. you are just too stupid to raise a smile - just a fat-ass ignorant imbecile - boring as fuck and a waste of good air.

GFY is far more interesting when you are snoring and farting the night away..

You forgot irrelevant. :2 cents: :thumbsup
You are slipping webster.

OK.. If you insist - also forget an attention whore with a mental age of five and getting her panties in a twist - but, you know that.

Says the constantly hateful and racist board persona... :2 cents:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Did he help you write the answers .... I will keep this one for future laughs... :thumbsup

OOOOH you've just changed your SIG HEIL sig! You're improving....really! :thumbsup

but won't you disappoint your fans with that? They might think you became a jewis gay liberal :1orglaugh

Yes you are right, there changed it back.

lol, comedy gold... i'd like to think he's just a fake nick.

luc lonely is still my favorite shill though, i finally put Splum on ignore yesterday so no more hatemongering shit for me... the "i'm glad Kurt Vonnegut is dead" thread did me in, ignorant uneducated wannabe neo-con trash..

:thumbsup You're cool.

My country was invaded by Hitler...how bout yours? Do you have a fuckin clue what symbols are you playin with? Okay be a fascistic redneck thats your choice but pls dont use words you don't know okay? Hitler made his whole prospering country suck so if you're thinking that nacism would be a solution for US you're not a patriot but simply stupid. :2 cents:

Brilliant :1orglaugh

I did, however, wind up on the same side of the Imus issue as Splum. Stranger things have happened...

My country freed countries from Hitler. :2 cents:
Sieg Heil means "Hail Victory"
SIG Heil means "Hail SIGnature"
Dont get it twisted fruity.

Splum is worthless in all aspects.

someone takes the board too seriously

Theking wasnt that dumb.. :2 cents:

oh yes he was.. Splum is an idiot, there is no doubt about that, but at least he tries to argue his point..

This message is hidden because Splum is on your ignore list.

That's how I deal with idocy. A few more appearntly will be joining thelist after reading their pro-killer posts.

You put me on ignore because I intellectually destroy you in every argument we have, frankly you are not much of a challenge. :1orglaugh
And you smell like poo.

splum is amusing because he is so off to the right it isnt funny.

he must know no one takes it seriously..just jokes..i mean unless he really does have a shotgun rack on his pickup..lol

Actually its in my bedroom.

Nope, no help, I just channeled my inner Splum :)

I had forgotten about Luc Lonely. . . that was a great one too.

I always get a laugh: Women who get abortions are murderers, but people who buy handguns are "just protecting themselves"... yet tens of thousands of people die from gun related injuries every year.

Every thread he creates gets alot of attn tho....there u go

*** SIGHHHH YAWNNNNNNNNNNN* :2 cents:

he certainly puts a lot of effort into it

I wonder is it Splum pro-american or anti-american

If he's "pro-American" - he sure is the enemy within :1orglaugh A prime example of how fucked the human brain can be and the worst "ambassador" possible for the US. Na, he's serious, but a sicko and totally genuinely dumb :pimp

Splum is ok

I dont believe splum is really how he acts on here. Noone can be THAT stupid and find the "on" button of a computer.

corrupt country hope may not exist fuckers....:) :) :)

I don't know him really, but this made me laugh:):):):)