Traffic Trading
 

Ok, I get this email all the time.

Hi there, I'd like to trade traffic with you. Please start sending me traffic and I'll return the favor.


Ok, what am I supposed to say to that?

I have several options that I usually pick from.

1.

Hi, thank you soo much for asking me for this traffic trade. I'm gona drop all my current trades that I have been working with for several years and only do business with you exclusivly from now on since you took the time to actually send me an email.

2.
Hi there. You must send 5000 hits a day for 2 weeks to my main page before I'll even take the time to consider you. If you can do this THEN we MIGHT talk about doing a trade.

3.
Hi there, I must have misread your email. I wasn't able to find anything about how this idea of yours would benefit me?

4.
Fuck off

5.
Why would I trade with you, your site is much better than mine and anyone who went to it wouldn't ever come back to mine so as far as I'm concerned I don't want my surfers to ever find out about you.


6. (my favorite)
Why are you bothering me? Fuck you, you piddly little piece of crap. You have now pissed me off to the point where if I don't see 5000 hits a day to my main page from your site I'm gona black list you with ALL the major TGPs there are out there for trades and galleries. Then I'll go to every sponser you use and have then cancel your checks. Either send the traffic or find another job. You have one hour to start sending me traffic.

7.
It's hard to see if you're on your knees or not.

8.
Excuse me, but I dn't know any other way to ask this. Who the fuck are you?



I know I know, I'm a sweetheart.


See ya all in Hollywood!

Didn't you post this same thing 2 months ago?

I like option "Send 5k a day."

Hollywood eh? I wonder if you suckers will be able to spot me, I doubt it.

Low key, all black.

See ya there.

I can't even remember what i ate for breakfast, yet alone 2 months ago....................

Understood

I've woken up and couldn't even remember if I had a girlfriend or not.

that;s always scarry when there's someone sleeping beside you.

Did I miss the one about a check for $300???

I like option 4.

This will give you far less trouble in the long term :-


Thanks for asking but I have far too many trades already.




Be calm and prosper.

I didn't eat breakfast yet. Someone make me a sammich!

Last time I checked, you ask traders to send you 1k/day. It's now 5k? Wazzup with that?

too many guys did 1k/day :Graucho

was that what you were paying me to sleep with you?
I told you the first one was free.

Let me refresh your memory:

4 Big Mac's
2 quarter pounders
3 Super-Sized French Fries
4 twelve-piece McNuggets
3 Chocolate Milk Shakes
8 boxes of McDonald land chocolate chip cookies

You had the same thing 2 months ago, I assure you.

Anyone see Sleazy in the new Austin Power's movie?


http://austinpowers.com/objects/imag...ardwrestle.jpg

Fat Bastard rules!

"I don't remember eating CORN!"

"look at my titty"

heheh

check this email I got.....I am still "pondering" how I should respond:::::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi.
Since we started trading traffic, you constantly send me 1/4 of the amount of traffic I send you. I'm sure you would agree that this is completely Fucked Up.
Fix this matter please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*NOTE*
I did not ask for this trade, he signed up with me, but yet he wants me to blast his ass with traffic the first day?

any suggestions?:Graucho

Your a fucking GOOB, I dont think I like you.......Get the fuck off my planet.

I'm hungry.

would you believe that when I was in newfoundland last week I saw that the McDonald's there had a McLobster sandwich.

personally i like to give em aaronM's icq.
Let him deal with em

Yo!

I got this one from you!!! Just you must have liked my site a lot - you only insisted on 1 week :cool-as-a

Believe me, when I grow a little bit (sitewise), I'll send you that much.

Eugene

You did post the exact same thing a couple months ago.


Quit crying.

"Git in mah bellay you wee tgp man! Ah needs 5k eh day of yer worst blind linked straight traffic to shuffle off to mah udder shittay tredz".

And I think what you did to your cat could be construed as animal abuse

http://www.detroithardcore.com/dreamcat.jpg

Cats cant eat your left over Big Macs... if there are any leftovers.

"My neck looks like a vagina"

:1orglaugh

hehehe :)
I like #8