I just discovered something between my legs: =/ =/ \=
 

OK so i am sitting here minding my own business and i go to scratch my crotchle area and i feel something BIG something like the size of a full grown albino boa constrictor, i dont have a pet snake yet i am really afraid to move, there is something huge in my pants and i am afraid if i move it may bite me.

What should i do? :helpme

whack it!

nothing a butchers knife can't fix

R

Poke its eyes.

If you find my ex there you can keep her. She is prone to be found between peoples legs.