English as the Preferred Language
 

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterrent to akurate speling. Also, all wil agree that the horrible mess of
silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropped from vords kontaining
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be applied to
ozer kombinations of letters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst place....

Auf Wiedersehen

:321GFY Germany!!

:warning

Krome is a German sympathiser.

Hey my English is 10 times better than you guys' German. So STFU :BangBang:

uh... your english is ten times better than these guys' english.

let it be said:

"your nothing more then german, an their is way when i could care less!"

where did you find that?
any sources ????

ahahaha

I really wanted that to mean...oh shit it does look like I am in favour of the crouts..dam I will going and cut my balls off now..

Funny, as a lot of people don't even regard England as a European country (European snobbery, and possibly some British snobbery as well).

However, it's simply a fact of life that because of the monolithic but mostly monolingual USA (not so much the UK), English is pretty much a de facto lingua franca.

We need a list of the most fractured spellings. Flaccid becomes flaksid, for example, and dour becomes dur. Any others?

I wonder if anyone knows what happens to homonyms (words which sound alike but are spelled differently)? How does Euroenglish spell this phrase: "John Tue brought two tutus to his daughter, and some dancing shoes, too."

not a very funny joke, especially from someone who has no comprehension of the English language, charly

i'm all for making english the official language in EU...that would help everybody, i'm so sick of traveling in europe where 50% can't speak english and you have to use handsigns...

You really put some thought into this joke thread!

How about existing issues like why in North America (Canada and the USA) we spell the round bits on a car "tire" and in the UK they spell it "tyre" ???

Does that mean we've already adopted some euroenglish? :Graucho

How about learning other languages? :1orglaugh

hahaha... no i understand why the german language got those modifications, recently... what kinda plan is it???

English is the most demanded langauge to learn nowadays.. because without out it how can we post in this chat forum :)

good point