Two pretty good attempts at getting laid
 

A man takes his seat on a plane to Chicago and realizes the woman next to him is hot.

?Business trip or vacation?? he asks.

?Business,? she replies. ?The annual sex convention.?

?What are you doing there??

?Giving a lecture about the myths and truths of sexuality,? she answers.

?Like what?? asks the guy.

?People think African men are the most endowed, but it?s actually Native American men,? she says. ?And another myth is that Frenchmen are the best kissers, when it?s actually men of Jewish descent. Also, a recent survey found that Cajuns are the best lovers of any ethnicity.?

Blushing, the woman adds, ?I?m sorry, I shouldn?t be saying all this. I don?t even know your name.?

?Tonto,? says the man. ?Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Boudreaux.?

* * * * * * * * * *

A man goes into a repair shop to get his watch fixed. But when he sees that the girl running the store is extremely hot, he unzips his pants and lays his cock on the counter.

"Sir, what are you doing? This is a clock shop!" the shocked girl shouts.

"I know", he replies. "I'd like to get a pair of hands and a face put on this."

* * * * * * * * * *

Q. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?

A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.


www.jokesbee.com :D

Lol
Nice

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

LOL. The first one is funny as hell!

lmao......

Ok, thanks for the early morning laugh. :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Pretty good... :1orglaugh

:D good ones

:1orglaugh

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the window, "I want to open a goddamn checking account."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a goddamn
checking account now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."

The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language.

They both return to the window and the manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no goddamn problem." the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the goddamn lottery and I want to put my goddamn money in this goddamn bank."

"I see," says the manager, "and is this bitch giving you a hard time?"


www.jokesbee.com :D

lmao! i love joke threads... :thumbsup

LOL @ the 1st 1

that was funny, specially on the first story...God, is it so easy to get laid these days? :thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

Haha... The last two made me laugh :)

hehe nice ones

Thanx, those were pretty fuckin funny...

That gave me a chuckle... heh.

lmao!!!!!

Loved the jokes! Keep 'em coming!

*Maybe* alittle funny.

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the birds and the bees.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

cute jokes:)

A nun wearing her black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her and punches her in the face.

Before she can scream, he lands a quick jab and finishes with an uppercut.

She goes down, and the drunk starts kicking her in the sides.

A few of his friends run out of the bar, and as they pull him off the beaten bloody nun, he yells, “You’re not so fuck'n tough NOW are you, Batman!”


:D

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

The Boss was in quandary. He had to fire somebody.
He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who
used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The Boss approached her and said: " Debra, I've never done this before,
but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."

Har har..those made me chuckle

Hahahaha, that is the American way.

ahaha good ones :1orglaugh

and only 10 years young....

Lol haha
Nice

made me chuckle.. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

good one!

Ha nice one