I'm being stalked by a 12 year old girl! I need SERIOUS female advice here...
 

I think female advice would work better here, because well, maybe you've been in this situation on the other end, or maybe you could give me a look into the female mindframe a little better on how to solve this problem. But guys feel free to step in too if you have some serious advice. I'm not looking for any bullshit trolling or sigwhoring n this thread, i have a SERIOUS problem that needs addressing here...

Ok, this has been ongoing for a few months now, and for a long time i thought it was cute and flattering. I have a buddy whose place me and my friends do our pre-drinking at before going out to the bar, he has a 12 year old sister who is completely in love with me for whatever reason. From the second I walk in the door to the second I leave she's glued to me. I figured this was a pretty normal thing for a girl her age to have a crush on her big brother's friend.

This has gone beyond a little crush now though, It is becoming a problem. She has my name written in pink and purple hearts on her mirror, her and her friends call me at home on a regular basis, they even occasionally stop by just to say hello, giggle on my doorstep and then leave. I have no clue how she knows where i live or how she got my cell number, but a female friend of my little brother told me that she followed me home one day. She even went as far as to say that her and friends followed me and took pictures of me while walking downtown one day (i can't confirm this, but i don't see why this other girl would lie, like wtf?) I've spent so long passing it off and harmlessly flirting her up fr the last couple, that now i'm thinking i may have inadvertently lead her on to believing that there could be a chance for a relationship here or something. Is it normal for a young gir's infatuation to go this far??????

Even all of this i would have still only taken as flattery, but she's crossed the line now. twice now she has bordered on "propositioning" me and it has got me SERIOUSLY concerned now. This is the second time within a couple weeks that she has put me in a situation where i can seriously say she's taking it WAY TOO FAR, there's no need to get into details, but I can safely say at 12 years old she has no business coming on to a guy 10 years older than her this way.

I NEED TO GET IT INTO HER HEAD THAT THERE CANNOT BE ANYTHING BETWEEN US.

The problem is that but I don't want to crush her either. She has no father (as far as i know she never even knew him), her mother is never home, and she basically lives alone with her 3 older half brothers, who though they are good guys that i get along with great still don't treat her very well. For all I know I could be the only older guy in her life that has ever treated her half decent. I really don't want to have to resort to be a full on asshole to turn her off...

I have explained to her on a few occasions now that she needs to cool it down, and that I am way too old for her, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in at all. I told her brothers they need to do something about it, and they just think its funny. An opinion I don't really share with them...

What the hell should I do here? Is there something I can say that might finally get her over me? Like, I'm really not that great. Should I just avoid her at all costs? Should I just go on letting her have her little crush, and keep turning her down until it passes by and not worry about it? or should I just be a complete shithead and shut her down hard? I'm at a loss here...

oh man I would hate to be in your spot.

Scary stuff...

Wait 4 years then hit it.

Give in to her temptations. Flirt back with her strongly and take control of the situation. Currently it's a one sided young person crush but as soon as mature qauilities are entered into her dream-like state, it will start to crumble.

Though, I've seen this method backfire a few times.

good luck man..this sucks in many ways..

bad place to be, run



Mr. Romance

Give her the just friends talk. do it soon.

It fucking sucks believe me, she seriously has had me hanging a couple times now. Left me TOTALLY STUNNED...

I have to shut her down here soon, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to set myself up for when she becomes of age, lol. I don't want to send her off into the world hating me, she is going to be an absolute knockout one day. I'd love to bump into her in the local bar 6-8-10 years down the line and find out she still has a little flame burning for me somewhere, believe me that. I just can't it this go on any further at this point, and I'm at a total loss at what to do here...

Just whip out your cock when you get her alone. No doubt she'll chicken out. If not, you have a BIGGER problem...

I'm Kidding, Everybody!!!

Eleventeen is a tough age. Good luck with that 1 man :)

She's got the just friends talk, and i think all that did was prompt the more desperate measures she taken that have conerned me the most. I really don't know what I can sya to her to make it stop. That's why I was hping some of the ladie shere might be able to giv eme a better idea what to do about this...

I caught the joke, but trust me here I seriously don't think she'd back down from it any. That's what concerns me the most here...

You're kidding? The banner in your sig is promoting 'school girls' niche- I believe you ain't kidding at all. :warning

Tell her you have a girlfriend or fiance and maybe she will leave you alone?

I've had a situation 'kinda' like this. She was 13 kept pestering me online and coming over for no reason (in company of her sister who is a 'sister in law' and invited legitimately). She just grew out of it. Maybe yours will too. She'll meet a guy of her own eventually. If she doesn't, put out some kind of weird rumour like you have false teeth or something and she'll eventually stop seeing you as some kind of god.

yup I would go so far as to find a girl that is a few years older then you to pose as your gf and have her go over there with you sometime. Most likely she will treat this fake gf really bad but if you have this girl talk to her and conect with her as a friend then it won't be as bad as you being a asshole to her.. The key is a few years older.. if you bring a girl younger then you like 18yrs old then she will think if this girl wasn't there that you like younger girls..

Good luck dude and I'm glad I'm not in your shoes too

1) did you said you flirted with her? - first mistake
2) she has no father
3) her half-brothers don't treat her nice
4) her mother is not around
5) you're probably the only 'sunshine' in her life

Don't lead her on. If she shows up at your house - you tell her nicely that she shouldn't be coming over. If she calls your cell - you tell her nicely that she shouldn't be calling you.

Explain to her that at her age, there are many things she should be enjoying rather than wishing/fantasizing about an older guy.

She needs a female role-model in her life. She's around more men than women. She's lacking the most important roles in her life (her mother & her father) to give her self-confidence and teach her self-respect. She's promiscuous because she has no direct behavioural guidance from a female.

I know 'that's' not your problem but hopefully you can talk to one of the more sensible/intelligent brothers or mother to explain that or perhaps a female family member.

probly only wants you for your candy .

Tell her that you are not interested, and that if she pursues this crush that you have to tell the authorities (it's allright to lie to her about this..lol)..let her know that you could go to jail just for hanging out with her because of the age difference.

IF you have some male friends, younger brothers ..someone older than 12...maybe 15 or 16.. introduce her to them. She sounds like she just wants a good male father like figure in her life...good luck, young girls can be really stupid..been there, done that.

Oh and keep in mind, it's not a sexual attraction. It's one of those 'fad' type things. You'll be quite safe. Tell her you're getting married. She's so young, she'll believe you and understand.

Sort it out before it gets totally out of hand and you wind up with alot more than a 13 year old with a crush on your back.

Tell her you are gay.

bro you're 22. grow some balls and tell the little shit to fuck off.

12 year old crushes are the worst!!!! Girls think they are just being cute taking pictures and all but thats kind of freaky. I remember when I was 16 there was a 12 year old like that with me and even at that age is was super creepy. Its like you cant say anything because they are not even old enough to hold that conversation. They really are just confused little 12 year olds, I have an older sister and I remember she was like that 100%.

lol.... i was thinking the same...

just be honest with her. tell her that it will not work out because the age difference is big and you could be in trouble just for hanging out with her. try to hook her up with boys her age.

Don't worry. I'm all talk.

Just stop this now!!
 

Dude this is a mess!!! As a women let me give you some advice. I was 12 and have had plenty of crushes but you need to chill out here. You need to talk to your "buddy" that is her half brother and tell him it needs to stop. You need to stop going to your friends house for a pre-drinking before you go out. Get over it and meet them at the bar where she cant get in. you need to stop worrying about her problems and worry about yours. She wont hate men because of your actions towards her, she will get over it trust me. If she calls your cellphone, dont you have callerID like the rest of the world, dont pick it up!!! If she comes to your house, slam the door in her face and tell her to play with someone her own age. I would even tell her you will confront her mother in person about this to make sure it stops. You got to cover your ass, or you will be in jail if you do something dumb. If she comes around in 8 years, hot as can be i am sure you will laugh over this together. Move on find a girl your own age and make it clear you have no interest. Good luck out there!!

look, ignore the remarks from the men here who have never been a 12 year old girl. Here is the thing. You must ignore it all and stop all the flirting with her (that NEVER should have started in the first place, WHAT were you thinking? If she was my sister I woulda kicked your ass)

anyway, you have to ignore it. Any large reaction on your part, even negative WILL FUEL THE FIRES. DO NOT answer your phone when she calls DO NOT answer your door when she comes over. If you see her at your friends house, give her one word answers no matter WHAT she says, and make sure you do this in front of other people. You don't have to be rude and say "go away" all you have to do is give her the shortest possible answer, then say "anyway..." and turn back to your friends.

As far as you are concerned, make this girl invisible. She will get bored and go play video games or something eventually, trust me.

Dude, this is tough. I had a similar situation when I was 17. my neighbor was divorced and had three kids who would come see him every other weekend and then for half the summer. The oldest was a boy my age, there was another boy that was 12 and a girl that was 13. The oldest son and I became friends. The girl would follow us around and everything and I just assumed it was because we lived out in the middel of nowhere and there was nothing else to do. Then that summer she would come over to my house as soon as my mom left for work and shew as always flirting and trying to sit on my lap. I knew it was going beyond the normal fun and hanging out when she started suggesting we go skinny dipping and stuff like that. I got a little creeped out by it. Luckily for me her older brother heard a lot of this and told her to cool it. A few months later she was back to normal and I think it passed.

I would do like others have said. If she calls you tell her think she is a nice girl, but you have no interest in her other than that she is your buddies sister. If she shows up at your house tell her she shouldn't be there and close the door. Don't be mean, just be forward with her and strict. You might even try telling her you don't look at her like a possible girlfriend, but more like a little sister. If it continues and gets too crazy you might want to talk her mom or even her school counselor and get someone else to step in and help out.

Most likely after you shut her down a handful of times she will turn her attention elsewhere.

haha yea go with what ayla says

Start bangin' her mom...or maybe her brothers? She'll get really jealous and hate you......and when she gets legal, her mom or bros will tell her what a great lay you were, so she'll hunt you down! WIN-WIN buddy! :thumbsup

12 wtf, buy her a barbie doll then tell her you need her help with hooking you up with her brother.

First off, what the hell are you thinking? If you are flattered by a 12 year old girls attentions, then you need to do some inner soul searching. SHE'S 12!
As mentioned previously, do not continue any contact with her. You don't need that kind of trouble. It's not cute. You need to make it clear by your actions that you're off limits and not 'hoping secretly she'll come of age and you can HIT THAT'. WTF!!!

Stalking is a criminal offense. Following, taking pictures... this isn't a little girly crush and you aren't 15 years old. It's a big risky mess. If you were 'flirting a little' and you shut her down, consider how the media will spin this story. Everyone knows little girls always tell the truth, especially ones who follow people and take photos of them. OMFG. Retaliation will be a real bitch.. your private info on the web, your pictures posted, people finding out about you and your business. Aren't you a pornographer? There's a real headline!!!

You need new friends and a reality check. Don't try to mentor, find friends for her, feel sorry for her, be gentle, blah blah... just cease contact immediately.

My husband threw his 2 cents in from just reading your post..
He said your story sounds a lot like someone trying to build a backstory when they've already done something wrong. Much like the guy who is about to get caught in an affair and tells his wife that thisi woman at work won't leave him alone. I don't necessarily agree but he's a guy and he thinks like a guy...


We both say.. good luck.

ismokeblunts, if she has sucha difficult situation: no father, mather never at home and little brother, she is probably seeking for a person to rely on, like her father would have been. She mixed this feeling with love.
All i can suggest for you is to pay her a lot of attention as much as possoble. But explain her that you would spend time with her (cinema, cafeteria) and have nothing intimate with her (it is forbidden). May be a month will be enough for her to calm down.

Bring a girlfriend over.

are you insane? ismokeblunts: if you do what dumbshit said I can guarantee you'll spend time in jail

Stop going over to her house fro pre drinking. If you have to get drunk before going to the bar, change locations.

If she calls your cell, dont answer

If she knocks on your door, dont answer

You also need to have a serious talk with her brothers, if they think its funny now then they need to understand that its not funny and is a serious situation that will end up landing you in jail

Found her a boyfriend with same age

:thumbsup

Most likely she will try to kill you, good luck!

BINGO!!!

Right, avoiding any contact at all is the only way it works, don't talk to her, don't go to places where you meet her, no exceptions...or you'll end up with her sleeping at your front door, waiting for you to come out, one day !

Best answer.

it was never so much flirting, as just teasing her like i would anyone else's little sister. what am i supposed to do, be a total dick to her? i understand fully that this was a big mistake now. i guess i just thought it was funny for a long time. i didn't think she'd take it this far, i figured she'd have a little crush, not be trying to offer me her body in exchange for attention, the whole situation went from innocent to creepy faster than i could even realize it. if i find myself in anything close to this situation again it will be handled completely different. believe me...

the plan as it stands now is to go over someday soon, explain my situation and why she can't go on with this any more, then distance myself for a while. just disappear and let her move on with her life. the problem with not answering the phone is simple, she lives with good friends, how am i supposed to know when it's her calling? i guess i'll just have to let all the calls goto voicemail.

i know all she wants is attention, she obvously needs a male role model in her life. but to all the people who think i should just shit her away, i can't just do that. i don't want to be just another guy telling her i want nothing to do with her, if you can understand that...

it's a delicate situation with a confused little girl here, i don't want to fuck her head up. i feel bad enough for leading her on into this situation in the first place, even tho it was nothing i planned on...

additionaly I would like to state that thi is NOT going to land me in jail, because i am DEFINITELY NOT interested in doing anything with her. my biggest worry is that her mother would find out and think it was something i was pursuing, which i repeat, it is NOT. even then i'm sure he rbrothers would say something on my behalf...

do you think explaining the situation to her mom is a good idea? or shold i just try to let it fade away on it's own?

if I were her mother, and I read this thread, you'd already be missing valuable parts of your anatomy. There is no spin you can put on this to make it something that is not going to seriously piss off the mom one way or another. Do not go to her mother unless something truly insane happens, like the girl breaks in to your house or something.