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shannmarie 12-03-2006 11:11 PM

For those with children....
 
Have you given, or will be giving them "the talk"? What did/would you say? I've been put in a position where I must talk to my niece about sex. She's never had a solid female role model, and I've been involuntarily elected to be it. I truly don't think I'm the right person for the job, but I'll try my damnest. I don't want to be a hypocrite and go by-the-book.

Spunky 12-03-2006 11:14 PM

How old is she?..most learn from their peers anyways

shannmarie 12-03-2006 11:19 PM

She's 15. I really don't think it's even necessary. I learned from my peers. And media. And the internet. But she is eager to ask questions. Grrrrr.

Spunky 12-03-2006 11:22 PM

Well she probably knows the basics..probably enforce the protection part of it and the dangers of stds/pregnancy

Sly 12-03-2006 11:26 PM

LOL. Learning from 15 year old peers is not exactly the greatest thing in the world, regardless if its what you did or not. Think about how stupid some friends your age are. Now think about how stupid they were when they were 15. Those are the "peers".

Get the picture? :-)

shannmarie 12-03-2006 11:52 PM

The pregnancy, protection, STD thing is easy to approach. I don't think I've collected my thoughts quite well before I threw this out there. The objective is no problem. I guess what I'm really asking, is, DO YOU GUYS EVER MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT THE INDUSTRY? I'm sure, you may think I'm a space cadet... but the truth is, I don't know, and that's why I ask.

Trixxxia 12-04-2006 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shannmarie (Post 11449103)
The pregnancy, protection, STD thing is easy to approach. I don't think I've collected my thoughts quite well before I threw this out there. The objective is no problem. I guess what I'm really asking, is, DO YOU GUYS EVER MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT THE INDUSTRY? I'm sure, you may think I'm a space cadet... but the truth is, I don't know, and that's why I ask.

Maybe it's just too late at night, but I'm not understanding what the industry has to do with 'the birds & the bees discussion' with a child?

If they saw something they weren't supposed to, I explain that the internet is a huge ocean of information that they as children, teenagers, even young adults cannot always understand. Understanding comes with development, maturity or experience - hence why they should only be searching for stuff that is age appropriate. I throw in that if they have questions, they should be asking an adult they trust. The net is not developed enough to know when a child, a teenager, or an adult is asking the question, hence why their parents should be using some sort of blocker. I also let them know they should be doing searches for academic stuff. Their parents are who should be answering the vitally important questions and they should always feel like they can talk to them - if not them then another adult that can be the bridge between the two (but their parents should always be advised).

I give the 'dangers online' discussion to anyone with a connection. My son had the talk the moment he learned what 'MSN' was.
1) Not everything is what it seems
2) Never give your details on the net
3) Don't chat with people you don't know in person
4) Don't assume your friend 'Joe' is the same 'Joe' who's writing to you online
5) Unless you're of legal age or advising your parents, you don't post pictures online
6) You never go 'meet' with people you think you know on the net.
7) Not everyone is who they pretend to be
8) If anyone says anything to you that makes you feel remotely uncomfortable, threatening or that you know I'd blow a fuse over - save the chat/email and call me immediately.
9) If I really want to - I can read all your chats (it normally makes them more aware of what they say LMAO)

Regarding the 'Sex' talk - kids should not feel uncomfortable asking nor should you feel uncomfortable replying. I've never been asked something that I got uncomfortable with - but I have always either been with a group of women (where one daughter was asking the question) or with my spouse, in the case of my son.

However, I think if I'd ever have a question I'd be stuck on, I'd tell him that I need the proper terminology and that I'd research it and get back to him on it.

MyNameIsNobody 12-04-2006 02:51 AM

interesting little list you got there topbucks. I like the last one :D

CuriousToyBoy 12-04-2006 04:27 AM

My kids are 6 and 10.

Both have already had varying degrees of "the talk" from me.

Suited to what they both need to know and expanded upon regularly when they seem ready or ask.

2c

aico 12-04-2006 04:57 AM

my parents never gave me the talk, and I am awesome in bed.

leftybogs 12-04-2006 04:59 AM

i think thers nothing wrong that... just give her the right advice...

Wiggles 12-04-2006 05:04 AM

my son will learn sneaking looks at porn videos duiring his life (not that i give him) and my wife will talk to my daughter.

jennym 12-04-2006 06:19 AM

My daughter is 12. She has had varying degrees of the talk over the years. When she asks a question about sex (any question), she gets the truth. If they are old enough to ask it, they are old enough to know. Sometimes it makes me cringe, but what ya gonna do?

Edited to add: Bringing up the industry has nothing to do with the "talk" imo.

reynold 12-04-2006 06:27 AM

Dads take care of the boys

Moms take care of the girls

Madame0120 12-04-2006 07:18 AM

Just keep repeating to her ...

I don't need to be a GrandMother!

Boys lie!


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