Broken English
 

Authentic letters presented in the book broken english by stewart clark:

To the landlord:

"I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5.30 his cock wakes me up and it is getting to much"

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ancle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage"

"I want some repairs doing to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt its knob off"

"Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, would you please send someone round to do something about it"

"The person next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsight and dangerous"

Job applications:

"My parents and I are born and bread Norwegians"

"I have an excellent track record, although I'm not a horse"

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for this business"

"Personal interests: donating blood, 15 gallons so far"

"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head"

"Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty"

that is more then broken english......

More than.