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Posted on another board from Alienq himself,

What is the meaning of life?

My thoughts on it's meaning has changed through the years.

When I was broke ( 18-30 ) all I thought about was the meaning of life is to make lot's of money get fucked often by different girls and get the things I want through the mastery of my knowledge, I lived what I can best describe as the "art of living" finding happiness in what I created. I always took any money I could for my stock investments and once there it would never leave PERIOD, I always took a larger part to buy into veritable stocks GOOGLE, Microsoft, SIRUS and XM Radio. I got my ass beat on some stocks while excelling in others such as Energy CONOCO, BP and bits of technology. It did not really make me much in liquid cash through those years as I attempted to impress folks for nothing other than being a "Good dog".

When I was middle of the vein ( 31-35 ) I thought of simple things are what would make me happy, and for some time simple things did make me happy though I was still struggling to master my skills money was not the problem. I lied about many things always hiding my ace knowing that I can leave my profession at anytime and be OK. I even made threads saying how broke I was and most the time I was indeed broke though I was never willing to ever break my investments or liquidate a dime during those times not even for a simple electicity bill which I was able to usually handle with a few banner order's under desperate circumstances.

( 36 to present ) I took the step and went hard and over a few months found new ways to make money threw better Investments. Some of you would not be happy about how some of it was done, many of you would not even have an idea how it started and really I am not going into how it came about but it happened none the less and it was not even entirelly in adult entertainment with exception to the very beginning of the process of investments as I always filtered monies into investments. A simple design bringing in 800 bucks enabled me to score a number shares of GOOGLE or BP here and there while Energy Companies went hands over fist from time to time. Of all things though... Real estate proved the pathway to some success that broke larger amounts of cash flow converting some of my investements in NASDAQ companies for some buy outs on commercial lots...

Not big things really, maybe 80K here and in 1 case 220K in North Carolina on a 20 Acre area.

Now that I have retired more or less and spent my savings of over 10 years for my first home ( Paid in Full ) I am beginning to think that the meaning of life is rather trivial. It means nothing. My skills are takin for granted by not only myself but my clients and even my wife. It's not a bad thing I suppose but now I pace around my house wondering what I can do to feel something other than the drawning feeling of a passing life.
Alot has changed since I percieved what success was and is...

Yet success is not about money I am comming to learn, nor is it on simple things. I recall a day when Cyberage Dave rolled over to my house in his Lambo to pick up some photo's I shot for him, he was and is a great guy and of all things very human and dignified in his life. I can say I found the same quality things on other wealthy people of this industry such as DS of GVA, R Levi, Brian Schuster, and maybe even Kremen. I respected them all immensely though my eyes on the Lambo that day and things that they had were great I realised that those things were not going to be the answer to my happiness or unhappiness in the future. I do not have a yacht nor a mansion per say nor would I strive for a helio pad in my back yard or a private jet.
I have no need of those things. Creating a Legacy is not on my agenda and I found that Hollywood has no more star's for me to admire. I am far from those things just within the last couple month's I made some major changes and am now almost 500 Miles away from the life of Los Angeles California.

I wonder what is next, what would make me happy and what the meaning of life would be or will be. I love picking up new clients and trying new things for people I work with and consult with always have but still I wonder...

Why?
I am not out to find god and those answer's. I always realise just how fragile and small our planet is. I have seen footage of awesome things and still...

I wonder...
Why is life so meaningless? It seems as though it should be so much richer with things and experiences...

Yet it does not yield the happiness I see such as what the winners on the show The Price Is Right getting a new Mini Van or small boat. In short I am not excited anymore and bored...

I do not know why...

Did I miss something?