AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES sexy
 

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

And, Remember:

1. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

2. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

3. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

4. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never
know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

I am not marrying a blonde. I guess I won't be needing that.


:pimp

1) Fool everyone into thinking you have just eaten an apple by rubbing your stomach and saying loudly "Mmm! That was a lovely apple."

2) Murderers, need to dispose of a body? Simply package it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.

3) Movie goers, please have consideration for pirate DVD recorders by having a piss before the film starts.

4) 'Every cigarette you smoke takes 10 seconds off your life', health experts say. To combat this, at the end of every day work out how many seconds you have 'lost', and simply go to bed that much later, or wake up that much earlier the next morning. Hey presto! your lost time is returned.

5) Dont waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

Regards,

Lee

bahahahahahahahaha

hehehe....that was good :P

It's very interesting. There are some ideas that are funny.