Pumpkin Picking, What the fuck?! (Rant)
 

What a rip off! I use to go when I was a kid and you picked up a couple pumpkins from the ground and brought them home for some juvenile delinquent to smash on your road later on that night. Simple and inexpensive fun for the kids.

Now I am convinced it is a complicated conspiracy to milk you for every dime you have and funnel it to the Republican campaign by pulling the wool over your eyes and trying to fool you into thinking it's part of a real holiday or something...

First, it's not just a bunch of pumpkins in a pile, theres all kinds of haystacks and shit for decorating your house, gourds, other things that look like nuclear treated pumpkins, and now...Maze (dried corn) and stalks to buy, which really pisses me off. Where do we come off calling it Maze? We have the nerve to rape the American Indian culture just a bit more by using the word "Maze" in order to make you buy it...I mean after all it's not just dried old corn...it's MAZE!

Then there's fucking pony rides, and hayrides and all this stupid shit, by the time your done it's a goddamn C-note for a couple fuckin pumpkins.

Also, used to be a pumpkin cost a certain price, there was the $1 area, the $3 area or the ever famous all you can carry for $10 deals which we used to love. Now it's $.45 per lbs. And these are heavy fucking pumpkins. I'm convinced that they genetically breed them heavy on purpose and I would not be surprised, not in the least, if lead weights didn't pour out of these things when they are cut open to carve. That's why you encouraged to paint them now...so you don't find the weights!!!

Anyway, now the kids see pumpkins and go fuckin nuts for some reason. Pumpkins are like catnip for kids. They start running all over the place like maniacs and your yelling at them to come here, they are ignoring you. of course your kid falls in the mud and has mud all over his pants (Another visit to the fuckin Gap I guess) and you have to get it all over your car now. There's always the kid that breaks his ass on the smashed open pumpkin guts and cries as if he were just murdered because he now has orange goo all over him. Got that little bastard screaming in your ear while you try to balance the stupid plastic wheel barrel.

Anyway, after all is said and done you could have went out to a nice restaurant and had a nice meal for the same cost as a few stupid pumpkins.

This is the first year I saw them introduce what is, i guess, the newest addition to the rip-off, roasted corn, buttered and right on the cob with the stalks peeled back. You would think it was crack the way people lined up for this stupid shit. Oh , Jesus! you just have to have roasted corn, what would happen if you left without the fucking roasted corn? Now you got people on line yelling across you to people on the other side, "you want butter? butter? what about salt? huh? they have white corn too! you want white corn?!", I want to grab a pen from my wife's bag and jam it in the fucking guys neck like in casino..."here's your fucking corn asshole!"

Anyway, it's a rip off. Take it from me, go to the supermarket and get your kids a few fucking pumpkins. Done!

I'm gonna go take my pill now.

You put a lot of thought into that..I agree buy them at the supermarket but the kids enjoy it and that's what basically Halloween is for anyways

I think every rant I've read of yours has involved other people having a good time while you bitched about them having said good time.

Anger issues?

:1orglaugh That made me LOL

Hilarious and sad

Ray - I like your view, its what most of us think on the inside while playing the happy pumpkin buyer on the outside ;)

OMg you are right on! lol. We didnt do the whole pumpkin farm thing this year (the first time in 10 yrs) they did go with their class ($10 each and brought home a tiny assed pumpkin). Bought the pumpkins at the grocery this year, heheh. It has gotten way out of control thats for sure. I feel your pain dude, hehehe.

Hugs,
Jen

hmmmm...maybe..

I dont know about you but, in my reality we have these things called 'washing machines' what you put your dirty laundry in and, as if by magic, about 30 minutes later, they come out clean :thumbsup

Regards,

Lee

Everything's a scam these days - however, I got through the day spending a just $34 at the "pumpkin patch" at my daughter's school.

$10 on 4 pumpkins (2 little ones for her and my son 2 medium sized ones for my wife and I)
$4 on 1 Iced blended coffee drink for me
$20 on "tickets" that my daughter used for face painting, arts and crafts (making a corn husk doll and and other random kid stuff), pizza and a brownie.

Not bad for a few hours of quality time with my kid ... we both had fun

:thumbsup :thumbsup

Pumpkins are cheap here now.

Do you need a hug?

Seriously why do you bitch about everything? what is wrong with you, and and whats up with your sig where is everything you were working on. and by the way your not the Don anymore ;)

I just bought two pumpkins for our garden today. I guess I'll be putting them up later this night. :)

You are so right. I went out to get som pupmkins and I was pissed that I was going to spend 60 bucks on pumpkins. Well today we are going to buy more paper pumpkins and tape them to the house. As for the corn on the cob, its best when you buy it fresh (a few ears for about 4-5 bucks) and cook it on the grill and spread butter all over it.

Idiot.67

J, you got off lite! good for you...Must be these NY prices. My couple Pumpkins were more than that, lol...

You hate everything, don't you Ray? :1orglaugh You should start a I hate everythign blog. :winkwink:

I sale www.ihateeverthign.com ...

Halloween is big biz like our other made-up holidays.... Valentine's Day, St Patty's Day, Kwanzaa, etc....

what ever happen to the good ole days when one could just go grab as much as they wanted from some field after dark? lolz

:1orglaugh

I knew that Halloween had officially passed into the ridiculous the other day when I saw someone have a Casper and the Three Ghosts thing in their yard. It was one of those lighted inflatable things that looks like a used condom laying in your yard in the daylight hours.

Ah for the days when decorations consisted of carved pumpkins and toilet paper dangling from tree limbs.

That was long gone, pal. Traditions aint really as the same as before anymore. :(

Well, to answer your question, whether I like it or not, I am pretty much stuck as The "Don" (Of porn?), so I'm sticking with the nickname. It's how everyone knows me and although I tried to change it to "The Caesar" since my new program will have an Imperial Roman theme, people still hit me up and email me as "Hey, Don..." so it is just fucking stupid to change my nickname after years of use just because I no longer own a company which has a mob theme. I wouldn't get my panties in a bunch if I were you...It's just a nickname. If Juicybucks got upset everytime somone called themselves Juicy they'd have no time to run their company.:helpme

Now as far as the Rants, I'm a bit of a narcissist and hate everybody pretty much (as if you hadn't guessed yet) so that's where the rants come from, and will more than likely continue.

And finally, I hate when people have "coming soon" shit up for too long. my program (Caesarcash) will go up coming soon when I'm a week or two away from launching and ready to run a huge promotion. A much more profitable project of which I am part owner and CEO (Thinkweb Technologies, Inc.) has gotten in the way so my schedule is pushed back a couple weeks. I have almost overnight gotten my hands on over 5,000,000 uniques per day and growing to deal with so I'm a bit busy and, that's just life. Ceasarcash will have to wait. I have not completely decided on how i'm going to market TWT's new traffic or if i'm going to keep it internally, but we'll have to see. I will have tons of traffic (categorized 404 etc.) to sell when i'm ready, but i'm not ready yet so stay tuned.

Now will you go pick some pumpkins for god's sake so you can add something to this very intellectual discussion we are having:winkwink:

they screw you with the pumpkins!

http://www.villagefair.com/MelGibson...ages/bwjoe.jpg

dupedupe

already did and had no problems with the price or the service, seems you just have your panties in a bunch anytime you go out and spend money on something, or if something isnt the way you want it :pimp :pimp

that sucks dude, i'm gonna make it an easy free one this year, gonna go down the street and jack some old guys pumpkins for my nieces and nephews :thumbsup