Some serious thoughts sexual abuse and its lasting effects
 

this thread is intended for those who are capable of intelectual conversation and thought provoking insight

warning this thread will get deep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I was watching foxnews the other day and kinda half listened while the talking heads were talking about mark foley and other people molested by clergy or even family members etc etc and then I had a thought or more like a question pop in my head

here it is

how does the sexual abuse of a female child lets say around 7-8 years old affect her family and for how long????

what I am asking is this does the trama caused by the rape pass from one generation to the next??? will her bloodline suffer the consequences of the rape for generations to come.......or does the hurt stop right there???

same with a male of the same age being raped by lets say a stranger wouldnt you agree that in either case that the childs bloodline will be forever poisioned by the acts of the stranger and that the ill affects of the rape on someone who lets say is a grandmother now

affected the way she raised and developed her own kids??? what if the kids were children of the rapist would it be even worse

or once again does the pain stop right there with the person raped at 8??

I ask this question for a reason and will provide the same after I view a see replies

:helpme no one has an opinion on this

:helpme

I hope not, and I don't think it's even possible..

you dont think the social and mental impact of a child being raped is possibly spread down from one generation to the next

it depends on how the person affected would raise his/her kids. if that person is strong i guess the worst that could happen is that they would be very (and annoyingly) protective parents.

hmm interesting

well what if lets say the mom was raped as a child by a man then she had a daughter by the rapist then she watch the same man rape the daughter then his son rapes the daughters daughter that 3 generations of rape

how many generations of that family do you think will be impacted by these acts??

errmm..... are you serious? :disgust

yes i am very very very serious

so could you please tell me how long you think the lasting impact would be on that family

granted niether of us are physcologist

but I recent had a close friend raped and it is part of the reason i pose these questions

so you're talking about a family of rapists vs a family of rape victims?

don't see any reason why a mother would watch her daughter (i know that's not literal) get raped when she herself experienced the same thing.

was in fact very literal she didnt do anything because she was scared for her life and then the daughter was afraid for her life when she watched her own daughter get raped

so how long do you think this will impact this family

i wish i was a non thinker

or a sheep
or something seems they have the easiest lives

never having to give anything any real though

nothing in the world bothers them because they do not understand it

man must be nice

I for instance would never be able to see a thread like this and just breeze by it


crap i am cursed with a brain:pimp :upsidedow

that's going to happen until she allows it to happen and if her daughter would think and act the way she does.

the question, i believe, is "how long SHOULD this impact the family."

the rapes are over now

im talking about the generations to follow the rape victims

i will just get to the point

I am talking about what happened to afo americans in the united states did you see the movie in my sig

Everything that affects someone's actions creates a ripple effect that will spread through the future forever.

Not all consequences will remain negative, but it will never be as if the actions had never happened.

It is proven that many people who were abused go on to become abusers. Can the pain of abuse be spread genetically? Not through the blood or DNA, but it can be passed from generation to generation by action. A girl is raped at a young age and never gets the proper treatment to help her deal with the trauma, or she isn't able to learn to accept it and move on with her life on her own. That trauma can cause her more problems down the road. Eventually she has a kid and since she was abused as a kid she (maybe even unknowingly) abuses her kid. It might not be sexual, but it is abuse so in effect the original rape is now causing pain to the next generation of this family. It is called a cycle of abuse and until someone puts a stop to it, it can go on and on and on.

When I was in high school there was a kid that was abused by his dad. His dad would get drunk and beat him up. The kid said that his grandpa treated his dad the same way. Now it's 20 years later and one of my best friends is a cop in the town I grew up in and guess what, that kid I went to school with is a drunk who beats his kids. So technically his grandfather's abuse has effected three generations.

Abuse, especially at a young age, can have a profound affect on people and can cause them problems and affect their lives forever if they don't find a way to deal with it.

ya, saw them but not all of it, what good would it do to keep on clinging to something that happened long ago? i think for people who aren't narrow minded there are no inferior or superior race anymore.

great I finaly got the attention of some inteligent humans :)

I agree with both of you

the reason I asked this question was because after watching the movie linked in my sig it dawned on me

how in the hell did black ever recover from all that just a few generations later

little girls being raped while their mother and father watched.......men being beat with whips by other men while their daughters and sons watched


for the life of me I cant understand how afro americans have made it to this point just a few generations later with pretty much no physcological help along the way

just think if you have a child and you watched as your child was beaten raped hanged and killed

lets say 6 generations of you family endured this

how long would it take that family to recover>??

afo americans have done it in just a few generations

amazing

martha is the best you can do???

my question is basicaly this

do you think those things endured just a few generations ago still have a trickle down effect on afro americans of today


it really wasnt that long ago

like i said, it would depend on the person.

i know someone who have suffered from abuse when he was kid and became a better person now that he's older.

i know another guy who had to endure god-knows-what to keep himself alive. he worked since he's 8 years old. didn't go to school, ran errands, had to live on the street for a while but told himself this is not gonna happen to my kids and their kids. he worked and worked, read as much as he can in the night to learn cause he cant afford to go to school, he got married (twice) sent his kids to college and are now professional, liscensed people.

on the other hand, i had a classmate back in college who was abused and beat up by her father and became a weaker person as the days go by. cause that was her choice.

I was all psyched until I read the highlighted following.

You lost me right there.

of course I lost you

as I posted this thread I counted on ten fingers the people who would not be lost

but I have a subject of conversation for those who cannot concentrate long enough to form an opinionated thought

the topic is

" hot chick pix inside":upsidedow

:winkwink: :thumbsup

You're assuming the abuse is traumatic to the child.

In many cases the abuse was no more traumatic than being made to tidy your room. Not a happy experience, but certainly not a nasty experience.

It's often how the adults react when they find out that suddenly makes the experience traumatic.

I think it also becomes more "traumatic" when the abused reaches adulthood without having proper intervention in childhood, that their mature mindset begins to understand what was done to them, and reason how bad the situation really was.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTT??????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????


ARE YOU FUCKIN RETARDED

YOUR WORDS ARE SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE PEDOPHILE RAPIST

EAT SHIT AND DIE

AND FOR THE RECORD SINCE IT OBVIOUS WHAT YOU ARE

YOU SHOULD PRAY TO GOD i NEVER MEET YOU

Possible to be spread down the generations... not so much. Everything depends on how the abused is able to cope with his or her situation. Many people do not seek the proper counseling and act out in a number of different ways from alcoholism or addiction in general to self abuse, to god forbid, actually becoming an abuser themselves. The trauma casused by any rape, and early age rape especially is a very real problem that needs to be worked over with support, therapy, and understanding.

While any abuse is sickening, the level of abuse you describe in your first few posts is extremely disturbing. I don't truly know if there could be any finite answers or fixes to that situation.

You need to talk to my neighbors.. the father figure in the house molested his sister, his three daughters, their daughters (two grandaughters that they know of)..has gotten caught by the one daughter naked in bed with the grandaughter that lives in the house with them cause the mom is so fucked up on medication (probably a result from being abused)she doesnt get out of bed during the day.
She reported it, the father said she was crazy..the mom (grandmother)thinks that her daughter is crazy and has disowned her and her family. The daughter is being brought up on charges of false reporting.. the whole thing is completely insane.. they never investigated the father....

Yes, it does affect some families generations to come...I want to kill that fuck across the street.

you are all right

and events i was speaking of was the institution of slavery that blacks endured in America for many generations

constant beatings and rape and family separation while other family members watched...............just like the movie in my sig tells the story ( reall is a movie in sig about this)

and this abuse stopped just a few generations ago

this is why it completely pisses me off and is mind bogoling when i see some of the racist crap slang around here

just thought i would give some insight on the subject


just imagine 6 generations of rape torture and slavery in your own family will generation 6, 7. and 8 be fully recovered???

no

Some people can make the choice to stop the abuse with them. Another good example is the Jews. How many of them were killed and brutalized by the Nazis yet it doesn't look like they have an entire generation of victims living today.

If a former slave was freed and got out of there with his/her family and they chose not to pass the violence that was done onto them to their children then cycle can end there. But I would argue there are still some African Americans out there that are allowing the violence of slavery to effect them. Black people make up about 12% of the population, but they make up about 25% of the prison population. 12% of black men will spend time in prison where only about 1.5% of whites will ever serve jail time. So the question is why? some would say there is still such racism in this country that black people are not given a fair trial and they are convicted of things that white people are not. Others may say that the cycle of violence never ended for some black people and they choose to carry out violent acts against others and this causes them the trouble they get in. I'm sure there are a lot more reasons I can't think of.

I recently watched a documentary called Gang Wars where the filmmakers went to Little Rock, Arkansas and talked to gang members and then went back 10 years later to see who was still alive and who wasn't. In almost every one of the cases the kids say they got into a gang because they had a bad childhood, abuse or neglect at home and the gang was the only family they had. It's a interesting film and looking at it and this topic it makes me think that for people like this, they may still seeing the effects of something that happened generations ago.

i completely agree

1) The abused become abusers, it's a vicious cycle.

2) If you believe in past lives their were studies conducted that past live trauma were carried to their current lives that were left unresolved.

3) Supposedly their are alcoholic genes and a lot of people that have them their parents were alcoholics. Now did they form the gene for alcoholism by becoming an alcoholic or was it already have it?

4) An example of your passed on genes a good example would be the Jews. If there was a group of people that endured suffering the longest it would be the Jews. Ever since history it seems they were trying to escape persercution or some kind of trials and tribulation. Look at the Jews today and look of their ideas about them. It seems everyone dislikes them and Jews have hard time trusting people outside of their race.

If you want a solution for your friend your best bet would have them totally resolve it or the best of their ability. Unresolve issues currently can past on in many ways.

I agree with all of your post

the social and economic impact of abuse is very under rated in my opinion

I start by saying that i didn't read the entire thread .. I know a girl that had a man break into her home and tie her up with an electrical cord... drag her into her baby brothers room and assault her .. she was 8 and her brother was a baby. I never got into heavy detail of what he did but i know he performed oral on her and forced her to do it to him ...the guy didn't realize that the room he took her to had another door that went to the parents room ...while she was fighting him a bit she kicked that door and the parents woke up .. they grabbed him and the cops came. this effected her entire family .. her father never hit the man and felt such guilt that it happen that he stopped talking to her and never spoke of it .. this made her feel like she did something wrong ... when kids in school found out they made fun of her and she made herself gain lots of weight so boys wouldn't think she was pretty ... she later started using drugs and even got hooked on heroin. even after battling addiction she still at 25 has low self esteem and a hard time being with men that are nice to her .. she dates guys that use her and treat her like shit. I definitely feel that this will effect how she raises her kids later in life (if she has any) and will trickle down .. stuff like that just doesn't go away and reaches far for many generations in my opinion ..

wow that is a horrible story:(

very sad:Oh crap

you are right her family line will suffer from this for many many many generations

OK.. Long story PS, but will try and keep it short.

The abused can often become abusers - irresepective of gender.

If you had the liberty to chat with people on death row - and assuming they were open to discussion, chances are you will find most were abused as children.

Little doubts, by the law of averages, there will be folks on GFY who will know the next part. An abused child has the ability (more than an adult) to develop a Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). This is basically a "shut down" of their true self and a locking out of offenses committed against them. In itself, MPD under these conditions can be a lifesaver for a child in that it offers a "way out" and protects the "real personality" and gives them some sanity to hang on to.

The problem with MPD is often in later life - it's kinda hard to dump the baggage of the other personalities which may have assembled to "defend" when abuses occurred, and, depending - it can cause stress when an alter ego takes over. Tho not specifically related to MPD - victims can view themselves as "not good enough" or inferior and can have very low self esteem and lack of confidence.

I've seen a fair bit of this in real life over the last 10 years by knowing law enforcement support folks who try to help victims of child/sex abuse and met up with a number of victims. They were all very nice people - some were able to cope more than others and their ages ranged from around 20 to 50 years of age. A couple became friends in a way and I deliberately took time out to chat with them.

There were some odd occasions which were a result of MPD still being present - on one occasion got an email from an "alter" (who was a male - tho the victim was female :) ) asking me to try and take care of the real personality. The lady who sent the email had no idea she sent this - she was in "alter mode". After checking with law friends, I showed her the email written by her alter - she just could not believe she wrote it, but never caused any harm, but was proof she still had "personailities" around. (These often appear when the victim is under stress - of any kind, but are not harmful).

Another victim had a day when an MPD "personality" took the victims credit card/bank stuff and went out and purchased a new car :winkwink: Later when the real personality returned, the girl wondered why the hell there was a new car in her driveway - it was not really *her* who purchased it :winkwink: (Some deal was done and the car returned to the dealer and all was fine).

In other victims, they just simply "crash" and that damage stays with them all their lives - and can cause them serious grief, both in relationships and daily living.

It's fair to say a victim can become an abuser - this can be a scenario where a mother (abused as a child) can continue the abuse with her children. Same with males and.. not sure why, but prob more so than with females.

A few decades ago a friend interviewed what was at the time, three children who were on death row (tho they were never executed till reaching 20's). The kids were.. think nine and maximum age was 13. They had all murdered one or more parents. Over their time on death row, my friend (tho law related), made a point of visiting them on a regular basis and got to know them very well. All three had been severely abused - often on a daily basis. Two were able to talk, another could not talk, but had "closed down". The lady who befriended them said she would have killed her parents if they had treated her that way as a child. In the end, two of them asked her to be present at their executions since she was the only real friend they had. She did appear to see their sentences carried out. Gutsy girl is my friend and got great respect for her doing this.

Bottom line... the damage cause by abuse is enormous and very damaging - not just for the victims, but possibly for others around them. It's a vicious circle and very sad shit.

1000% spot on Mike - and classic "defense mechanism". It can take a lifetime to change/remove the baggage resulting from an offense. Sad stuff.

Webby, do you think the MPD affects the grown victims children and so on and so on

I will have to go research MPD now, this is something I never knew anout and now adds even more to my research

thank you

MPD is just (least in these attack scenarios) a defense mechanism created by the victim to shut off the effects of an assault. I'd doubt it has any effect on the victims families - most would prob not even know mom has any MPD problem. (And possibly mom also does not know she still has multiple personalities in the background)

Some families know a parent has MPD tho they may not know the reason why. Know of two families like that - the lady's husband knows there is MPD and it's treated in a light-hearted way. Another family just think Mom is having her bad days - it's not really an issue in the instances I know of.

Depending on the level and occurances of abuse, there can be more than one personality developed - I know a lady in her 40's who, least at last count, has around five personalities. It's very weird stuff - it can be stressful when all five personalities are trying to "make their point" in some "debate" in her head. She can apparently hear them in the background, but seems to be able to dismiss them all. Often, if she is tired, there is a chance personalities can emerge. The only indication that it's not the "real self" is very subtle changes in outlook, but fundamentally - you are talking to the "one" person and they understand what you are saying and can conduct a normal chat. If it is a serious chat and the tone changes to joking/light-hearted - chances are an alter is present.

The lady above has undergone many tests - including hyponosis in an attempt to bring out the alters. A shrink can sit and have a discussion with alters and attempt to pacify them and cool their fears that the "host body" is not vulernable to abuse. In tests, it appears this lady may have been abused as a baby - and possibly as young as a year old - tho it's hard to establish that timeline with any accuracy. (An alter simply indicated that this was a timeline and that "he" had been defending her since then.)

OK.. Let's put it another way... I don't know of any instance where MPD has a detrimental effect on a family, tho may show in some cases, but least as far as I know, - it's not a big issue, but more of an issue in the mind of the victim. "Personalities" are not likely to attack anyone - don't think there is any known case of this. They are defensive personalities and not normally agressive unless the "host body" is under attack.

MPD can be caused by other things as well - but really only familiar with those relating to abuse/violence/sex offenses.