Cures for acute and painful constipation? Help appreciated.
 

Way off topic and I know but in dire need of help.

I have been eating large amounts of cheese lately for one reason or another. My ass is screaming to let loose but my intestines are not cooperating. I have tried ExLax and the like but I think the liquid stink is backed up behing the solid massive wall of excrament. Any ideas how to pop the cork and let it rip? :helpme :(

boyalley will jackhammer it loose for $5 hit him up:thumbsup

i know it sounds counterproductive but eat another brick of cheese, some corn (swallowed whole) and then take some exlax chocolates (they taste good its cool)

then take pics of the result

Eat a few bags of sugar-free chocolate candy followed by a jar of sliced hot cherry peppers. Stay near a toilet for the following 48 hours.

Drink some tea It'll help! tried that and came out successfully...

Just the sliced hot peppers would do it for me. What does the sugar-free chocolate candy do?

you need to eat LOTS of fruits...try it

Get a slide-rule and work it out.

lotsa grape juice - 100% juice with the grape seed extract

It appeases the Lord God Archiot so that he may allow the cherry peppers to do their work.

On the off chance you're actually serious, Ex-Lax or something similar. But STAY HOME after you take it.

And drink plenty of water after that...

Go to your local 'natural' store and get either Aloe pills or Aloe gel. Drink and stay close to the washroom :)

slacker :2 cents:

Interesting... most interesting! I must store that information in my memorybank.

Go to store and by some Fleet® Phospho-soda. You'll be shitting in 10-20 minutes max. Mix it with ginger ale of the taste bothers you.

Bingo !

That's what the hospital gives you before you get surgery !

If you're really impacted like my son was after he ate a whole block of cheeze then you need something like castor oil to soften things up.

yep liquid plumber lol

LOL! Yeah for sure. :1orglaugh

How about prune juice, it's effective.

water and exercise

Drink enough fruitjuices; they can help loosening up your vowel. :)

How are you doing now? Anyway, bale fruit can be a very effective laxative. It cleans and tones up the intestines & gives constipation relief. :)